Since you've been gone
by SarahLouiseK30
Summary: A lot can change in four years but real love stays the same.
1. Chapter 1

**Ah the writing bug has well and truly got me at the moment! I started this before the current series aired but have been tweaking it to suit the storyline they ended with *Rolls eyes***

 **Let me know what you think. The first chapter of a new story seems to be especially daunting so all reviews are very much appreciated x**

-OG-

If you had told me that at a few years ago that at 25 I'd be bleedin' divorced from who I thought was my forever and shacked up with me best mate come fiancée in some grotty flat I'd have laughed and asked what the eff you were on. Turns out I am all of those things.

We'd stayed friends to start off with, me and Charles. We'd had our ups and downs, mostly downs by the end with his injuries and denial and PTSD but I didn't hate him, he didn't hate me. We'd been happy once upon a time. Really happy but then we weren't and we called it a day so what was the point of making it awkward?

I'll always regret choosing to go on tour instead of staying home to look after him but I was young and I honestly thought he'd be alright. He was far from it as it goes and that will always be my cross to bare. But what do you do when he says one thing and means another and you're too young and thick to read the signs? He told me to go and be brilliant and that's what I did, for him as well as myself. I wanted to make him proud but instead we grew apart. We were friends that shared a bed (sometimes) and then he left. He ignored my calls, deleted my emails. He'd well and truly checked out. I spent a good couple of months walking round like the walking wounded and my heart felt three sizes too big for my chest and I was absolutely and irrevocably heartbroken.

Our paths were bound to cross eventually in the small world that is the army. And stupidly in my head it went something along the lines of us running into each other's arms and kissing each other to death like in the film, but let's face it, he's shagging Georgie Lane so why would he want me? So I guess it will be bleedin' awkward instead but I'll be civil and treat him like any other officer of the British Army and not like the man who broke me into a million pieces and left me to put myself back together again.

So that's what we agreed when we was finally able to have a conversation about the legalities - to be friends, even if it was only for careers sake in the end.

I decided to visit him in the rehab centre once not long after his last disastrous tour. But then I saw her, Georgie. My so called mate, my replacement medic in 2 section but also in his heart. I'm not gonna lie I felt a bit miffed, actually more than a bit miffed I was absolutely shattered into a million pieces and slightly bitter even though it had been awhile since we'd split. But who wouldn't be? She was me mate and he was me husband and I was jealous but he was happy and I suppose that's all that mattered. I just hoped they treated each other better than they treated me. I later found out through Brains he'd shagged her on tour before we'd even signed the divorce papers. That was the worst bit, the knife in my gut. That was why he'd ignore my calls, calls that I made because I just needed to hear his voice. Wanted him to say "We've made a mistake, let's give it another go" instead he told me to take what I want from our home that I didn't want to leave. And all the while he was chasing her.

I can imagine he didn't feel too chuffed when he'd inevitably heard a year or so later about me and Smurf. He thought he was the biggest twat to ever walk this planet. Out of respect for the marriage I once had I waited. I gave him time to come to his senses and get help and come back to me. But he didn't.

I'd heard he was up for medical discharge, I'd even seen the paper work actually when I was brought in to help clear up the massive fucking mess that a certain Northern medical will remain nameless had left behind her when she decided to sod off back to Manchester with her tail between her legs (amongst other things). She got my husband and I got her mess.

One of the worst parts was going home with my tail between me legs. The 'I told you so's' from me Dad and Nan and the way me mum tried to wrap me in cotton wool. Like a kid who was being picked on in the play ground, not like a grown woman who was getting divorced.

That's sort of how me and Smurf happened. He was there for me, offered me a way out of my mess and I supposed at the time I thought I would learn to love him the way I did Charles. He was more in my league, or so I thought at the time. These days I've come to realise that it was Charles who didn't deserve me. Class means nothing when your on your deathbed. I heard from Brains and Fingers who are still great mates of mine that it was my name he called when he was on his. I've always held on to that thought, it comforts me to know that maybe he did really love me, we just fell out of line with each other. And that's okay with me now.

So that was the story of how me and Charles went to shit.

-OG-

Aldershot Barracks

Molly watched as Smurf unloaded the last of the boxes, moving was boring, Aldershot was boring, the army way of life way becoming boring.

"Any chance of a hand or you just doing to stand round looking pretty?" She snorted a laugh "No chance mate, I'm making the most of these nails before I have to chop 'em off ready to get back in there"

The thought of being back with 2 section, without Charles and without Smurf was a funny one for her, like going back to school only to find out all your mates had left. Of course she got on with the other lads, but without him it would be different. Without Charles that is. She was fed up of living in Smurfs pocket.

She'd been relieved when she was given permission to live off base. With Smurf's new rank with a new section she doubted she'd see much of him during the week. She was looking forward too her own space.

He'd found them a decent little apartment, posh by his usual standard anyway. In an apartment block not far from Barracks. She was happier than she had been in a long time, she was finally settled. She'd finally forgotten about the clusterfuck of her failed marriage.

-OG-

"Good luck honey" Amy kissed him deeply. She was proud of how far he'd come. It had taken everything he had to get him back to this point. He pulled her close to him "I couldn't have done this without you" Charles stroked a stray tendril of blonde hair from her pretty face "I'll do my best not to be late and we can go for dinner to celebrate" she nodded "Can not wait. And please remember your coping strategies if it all gets too much" he saluted her "Yes ma'am" she smiled as she watched him leave. He really did look good in that uniform.

PTSD has been an absolute bastard. A bastard that cost him everything. A wife, then a girlfriend and even his career for a while. He smiled back at the woman who waved him off for his first day back with two section. He was somewhat nervous, they knew a lot about him. They'd seen him at his worst when he'd finally lost it, when his abilities as a Captain as well as a husband were called into question. It was unfortunate for Charles that he had shit on his own door step not once but twice. First with Molly and then with Georgie. Both girls sharing great friendships with the lads and formerly each other. But he had ruined that, for him to end up with neither of them. They were bound to know the ins and outs of both relationships and subsequent break ups, or in Molly's case divorce.

That was still a bitter pill to swallow. He'd caused her so much pain that she hadn't deserved, broken so many promises. She only ever tried to do her best by him and it was only when it was too late he recognised that. She'd moved on to Smurf of all people. The guy she had once described as a 'top wanker'. She certainly deserved more than a top wanker that was for sure. All he could hope for was that she was genuinely happy now.

Georgie had been a mistake from the get go. Misplaced affection plus guilt and ailing mental health had lead to some seriously questionable decisions on his part during those times. Beck had chewed the bollocks off him for his obvious lack of decorum when it came to female medics and he honestly couldn't blame him for seeing it that way, it looked completely unprofessional and he could only imagine the whispers of cad and adulterer within the close knit environment that was the army. Fingers had once even called him a sex pest whilst on the defence of Molly. He didn't even put him up on a charge for that one because it was bloody true, he felt like just that when all was said and done.

Both women had been held in high esteem of their fellow comrades and although he and Georgie had split mutually after a none starter of a relationship and she'd gone back to Manchester on a transfer out of 2 section so they'd let him have it. Once again a vow to stay friends hadn't really worked out and they avoided each other. Embarrassed at the marriage that had broken down partly because of their actions and the whispers around the barracks. Both of their reputations in disrepute because between them they had clocked more than a handful of fellow soldiers as bed partners.

Both Molly and Elvis had been seen as the victims even though Elvis was dead and Molly seemed happy. People don't forget when you shit on your wife and dead fiancé and it just became a union of convenience by the end. It had started out as love. They quickly realised just how wrong they had been.

He felt he'd been given this opportunity to lead his former section again as desperation on Becks new replacements part. They had lost a lot of men lately in an unfortunate incident in Syria. He was their last option he guessed.

-OG-

Georgie

My stomach is full of anxiety as I board my train towards Aldershot. It's been a really long time since my life revolved around the army. I'd taken so much needed time to finally grieve and process everything. Elvis, Charlie... Molly. I'd lost a lot of people. And really I'd lost them all through my own stupidity. It's taken me a long time to accept and own that fact, Although I don't think there will ever be enough time to get my head around the fact that I broke up my friend's marriage. I never intended too mind, I'd fallen for Charlie but managed to keep it under wraps. Until _he_ did what he did and we ended up together. I even moved into their martial home. Molly had left and after the fall out of them splitting, his parents took her side. He needed someone to look after him while he was injured and that had to be me. Because I wanted too and because I loved him. We thought we were battling our demons together but it turns out we were just feeding each other's problems and we knew it. We last about 2 years, most of that in a completely non romantic capacity until one day we both realised we were spiralling again. So I left, got a transfer back up North. We kept in contact for awhile, but it fizzled out when he realised he lost Molly because of me.

I'd seen the opening for a medic with 3 section and decided it was time to get back in the thick of it. I'm ready, healed if you will. I know there is every chance I'll see Molly again but I'll use it as my opportunity to make things right. Can I ever make things right?

I saw her from a far not too long ago, on a night out in London for my sisters Hen party. She was happy, the happy Molly I remembered as Charles' wife. Except she wasn't Charlie's wife anymore. She didn't see me and I was happy to leave it that way. My sister called me gutless, I guess she was right.

-OG-

 **P.s - still typing on this damn iPhone so please forgive any minor phone related errors x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so so much for the support on the first chapter! I was absolutely buzzing to read them all so please keep them coming!**

 **This is a bit of a long one, probably should have split it into two chapter but that's a task and a half on the iPhone so long chapter it is! Have a lovely weekend all xx**

-OG-

Georgie heard her before she saw her. Her famous cackle and toothy grin lit up the mess hall as she lingered in the doorway with her stomach well and truly in her arse at this point but there was no going back now. She'd been spotted.

Fingers glanced between Molly and Georgie waiting... waiting to see who would make the first move and wondered if they should all suit up ready for the inevitable fireworks that were about to go off.

Georgie gave an awkward half smile and a quick wave to her former section whilst not taking her eyes off Molly. Who still hadn't spotted her and if she had then she was doing a bloody good job of pretending that Georgie didn't exist at all.

Brains cleared his throat as the atmosphere turned chilly. He'd had such great respect for Georgie but Molly had been 2 sections First Lady so to speak and she'd done nothing to deserve her husband and her mate shacking up together. He decided that she was most definitely pretending Georgie didn't exist and maybe that was the best course of action. After all, no one needed a fight or a court martial on the new Captains first morning.

"Come on then wankers, let's get this show on the road" she commanded with the entirety of 2 section following her towards the parade ground.

Molly walked slightly ahead, her heart pounding in her chest. "You don't have to take my side you know Brains. I know you were all fond of her.."

Brains shrugged his shoulders "It was just awkward that's all. I'll talk to her at some point, but I just want you to know that none of us agree with what her and that bastard James did to you. I'm glad he's gone. Twat!" She gave him a small smile, grateful for his continued support and loyalty but sick to her stomach at the thought of Georgie pissin' Lane being around again.

-OG-

Charles was sweating bullets as he approached his office. He was finally back after his on going mental battles. He was happy and settled and after Becks resignation, he had been under a lot less pressure. He past indiscretions seemingly swept under the rug. He had to remind himself that he was born for this, it's all he had ever wanted and he'd sacrificed a lot over the course of his career including the most important people in his life over the years to be the Captain he is today.

A slender, dark haired figure that was fast approaching caught his eye, surely this wasn't going to happen on the first fucking day.

"Sir" Georgie greeted with a salute, Staring straight through him.

"At ease Lane. No need for such formalities"

She sniggered "Say's you who's calling me Lane"

Her attention was momentarily lost, her eye following Captain McClyde down he hallway.

"Friend of yours is he?" Charles said with raised eyebrows. "Something like that" she spat sarcastically with a smile that irked him. He knew full well what that smile meant.

"I'll see you around Sir"

He wanted to tell her he'd look forward to it. But he wouldn't, she was the painful reminder of the worst time of his life.

-OG-

"Now two section. I trust that your new Captain will be met with the respect he deserves. Some of you may recognise him, he's worked hard to return from illness and injury and I expect you to make his transition back to work a smooth one" Molly couldn't help but roll her eyes at the Brigs words. Her last Captain had been a complete pleb too. A complete tool that none of the section really respected, she'd been glad to get called back to two section.

"And I can see you were all pleased to welcome back Lance Corporal Dawes this morning. She's now a permanent addition to the unit" Molly felt her cheeks flush.

"Ah here's the man himself. Captain James, delighted to have you back with us"

Molly felt her stomach drop when she heard his name, surely it couldn't be the same James. He was finished the last she's heard. Their eyes met as he greeted his section, an eruption of cheers and celebrations from some and groans from others filled her ears. This wasn't happening. Her gut tightened as he made his way down the line, greeting each of them personally. Molly and Brains exchanged equally confused and surprised faces "Fuck" she mouth in his direction.

"Good to see you James" he greeted her but was met with silence "Don't you have anything to say?" She swallowed the lump in her throat "It's Dawes Sir"

-OG-

He hid the emotional turmoil he was experiencing well as he went down the line. There she was. His ex wife, the one who got away. The one he had completely broken. His emotions flipped between excitement and trepidation as he'd got closer to her, eager the fill the space between them.

How on fucking earth had this happened? Lane and Molly, in one morning, at the same barracks. You couldn't fucking write this.

"Good to see you James" he had spewed without even thinking of how it would make either of them feel, especially her. The horror in her eyes made it quite clear how she felt about that.

"It's Dawes Sir" she said with the same vacant state that Georgie had afforded him.

"Of course it is. Sorry Dawes" she was more beautiful than he remembered. Happiness suited her it seemed. He glanced at Smurf's ring around her neck,wondering wether it still lived on the string or had been moved to her finger. She had returned it when Charles had proposed to her, much to Smurf's annoyance. He hated to admit that it hurt him to see it hanging where his rings once did when she was in uniform, the symbol of their eternal love that now gathered dust in a safe at Royal Crescent.

She further shocked him by flashing him the killer watt smile he loved so much "Glad to see you back, Sir"

He felt all eyes on them, on him as he struggled to know how best to respond. He decided to move on and address them as a group again. They would have time enough to catch up once they both got over the shock.

-OG-

Charles decided the best way to win round squaddies was to get the drinks in. He'd heard them discussing between themselves a trip to the local to welcome Molly back. It sounded like a good idea at the time considering Molly's mostly friendly reaction to him.

It took him all of 1.3 seconds to spot her. Her glossy dark locks framing her pretty face and tight jeans setting her figure off. She was dwarfed by her company - McClyde. Fucking McClyde.

"So Molly. I haven't had the pleasure of seeing you around before" she giggled at his obvious flirting. "Well I haven't seen you either but I've certainly heard your big trap round the barracks"

He laughed "Feisty, I like it! So you're with that little twat Smurf? I'm very sorry to hear that. You've must have done something really shit in a past life to be punished with that cock. If you ever feel like a real man Dawes, you know where to find me"

Charles watched from a far, filled with jealousy. Something he hadn't felt for a very long time tightening in his chest.

She threw her head back with laughter as Bones closed the gap between them, hanging on her every word.

"That's nothing Sir, she was married to Captain James an' all" Fingers shouted across the bar.

Molly gave him a death stare, he was definitely going to get a punch in the face for that one.

"Fuck me Dawes, someone up there really don't like you" He pushed another glass of wine towards her.

"Probably should buy you the bottle for your troubles. Two twats in one life time"

Charles turned to leave. "Charlie? You just going?"

He tried desperately to lubricants his dry mouth. This had been a really bad idea. "Yes Lane. Best get home. Early start tomorrow"

She couldn't take her eyes off Bones who couldn't take his eyes off Molly. "Think you might find that's what they call karma. He was meant to be meeting me" she said sadly.

"Bones is a prize tit anyway. Never had much time for him"

She gave him a sad smile "I'll walk you back to the Barracks" he offered.

Molly turned in time to see the leave together. Her heart constricting as all her long buried pain bubbles back to the surface. Everything about Georgie made her insecure, it was like school again where she didn't have all the latest stuff like the other girls, she didn't feel as pretty because she wasn't as tall or clever as them. Lane brought all that back to the surface, after all - her husband had found her to be a better option than Molly. So it must be true.

Charles and Georgie walked in silence back to the barracks, the weight the resurfaced situation weighing healthily on both. "This is really shit isn't it"

"Yep" he said without so much as a look in her direction. She smiled at him sadly, waiting for something from him. For him to say he didn't regret it or that it would blow over. Anything at all positive. But nothing came.

"Night then" he said as they reached the guard station. This was a fucking disaster.

-OG-

Smurf slammed the front door so hard, Molly was sure the neighbours would be cursing them "Oi fuck face. Don't get us in trouble before we've even met the neighbours" he threw her a dirty look "I suppose you're happy he's back" she rolled her eyes "I'm happy to see he's recovered but that's where it ends"

He opened another beer "And I suppose you thought it wouldn't get back to me that you were trying to get into Bones' pants as well. Always knew you were a slapper "

She spun the diamond ring around on her finger. This was going to be a long night. The ambush of abuse was never ending, there was nothing she could say to calm him "If your just gonna shout like this all bleedin' night then I'm gonna sod off back to barracks. You've giving me a headache"

She escaped through the front door for some peace, afraid of his never ending outburst and temper. She slid down the wall until she stopped with a thud on the cold floor.

"Are you okay Hun?" Molly was startled by her "Yeah, thank you. I'm sorry for the noise. Hardly a great first impression is it" Amy shrugged her shoulders "I wouldn't worry about it. We all have our troubles" Molly hoped she was right "I'll make sure he shuts up. And thank you, just for being nice" Amy gave her a warm smile "Anytime, it looks like I'm opposite you, we're newbies too... You know where I am if you ever need a friend"

Molly smiled to herself, comforted by the knowledge that there was someone kind nearby. She'd had many versions of Smurf over the years, the jealous one was by far the worst.

-OG-

"Good evening you" Charles pulled her into a hug. "I thought I heard voices. Been making friends with the neighbours?" He had felt guilty that she had uprooted her life and career for him without any question the moment he'd got the call "Actually I think they were having a bit of a domestic. The girl looked a bit upset, I didn't catch her name" he sighed, she was always far too nice for her own good "Well don't go getting involved" she saluted "Yes sir. King of emotionless living"

They shared a small laugh as he embraced her. His head still full of jealousy and guilt - his worst triggers.

After Molly he never thought he'd love again and if he was honest with himself nothing would ever compare to the feeling she had given him. He hated to admit that Amy had been someone to fill a void whilst he waited for Molly to come back, but she didn't.

"Glad to see you've got your feet up. Tough first day?" She ran her fingers through the soft curls on the top of his head "Not particularly tough no, I'm back with my old section. It was a little strange, I'm a little rusty but I'm sure running them ragged during PT will whip me into shape"

Amy smiled at him "I'm so pleased you're back where you want to be" he squeezed her hand "All thanks to you"

He couldn't help but think of Molly at that moment. How different things could have been if he hadn't fucked up. He maintained for a long time after Lane that he still loved Molly, his head and his heart full of her, almost like it might burst. That feeling had been replaced by a dull longing which he'd hoped would fade in time. He was scared to admit to himself that seeing her today excited him. He had to push those feelings away. They weren't fair to the woman in front of him now. He'd fallen into a relationship with her without much thought of the consequences further down the line. His mother had said that he was afraid to end up alone, and she was absolutely right. It was his biggest fear.

Amy had made it clear from their first meeting that she wanted him. He was flattered, she was beautiful, he was lonely and she was up for it. She turned up one evening and never really left. His mother had insisted on him having help around the house once Georgie had left. His injury ravaged body was taking longer to recover these days and he could think of worst things than having an attractive blonde to focus on while he bided his time. Molly would come home eventually, he was sure of it.

-OG-

They walked to the Barracks in silence. Molly tired and withdrawn, Smurfs relentless outbursts of anger and jealousy over Charles' return had gone on most of the night, fuelled by whisky and beer.

"I'll see you tonight then yeah?" She tried to show him some affection but he pulled away "You might" he snapped.

She felt him before she saw him, he'd seen the exchange and heard every word "Everything alright Dawes?" She rolled her eyes "Yes sir. How are you today? So glad to see you well again" she felt weak as his eyes bore into hers "Thank you. It's been a long road but got there in the end. Glad to see your still in" she smiled a shy smile sending his stomach crazy with butterflies. How did she still have the power to do that?

The way she was with him was unnerving. It was like their relationship had never happened, that he was nothing but a work colleague. She spoke to him the same as she did any other officer and it hurt "Was there anything else Dawes?"

She hesitated, there was so much she wanted to say.

The longer she stood there the more her questions threatened to bubble over. "No Sir"

"PT in 20 minutes. Full kit"

She didn't look back as he marched away but knew he was watching her. Being around him was fucking with her head and already causing trouble between Smurf and her. They'd been happy for so long and the return of Charles had brought past problems to the surface. He'd been off the drink for months. After the last time when he'd got heavy handed with her, he'd promised her faithfully it would never happen again. He was struggling to keep that promise.

-OG-

Charles was deep in thought as he ran drills with 2 section. "Sir your limping" Brains called out, praying for a reprieve from their laps of the Barracks "Thanks for that Brains, I had noticed. Just a rusty old war wound, I can run it off" Brains looked to Molly. She shrugged at Brains as her searched her face for reassurance "Bosses word is final" she pulled her Bergen back onto her back "Lets get this over with"

He was embarrassed he couldn't keep up with them, Brains had been right but Charles always was one for cutting his nose to spite his face. "Sir I think you need the medic" he was touched by Brains' concern. He knew very well he had an opinion on everything that had happened and had been very vocal about it to both Georgie and Molly in the past. "I'll be fine Brains. Tell that miserable lot they can go for an early lunch and I'll see you all back here in an hour" he saluted the boss "Moll I think he needs ya"

She approached him with caution "Sir, I think we should take a trip to the med room don't you?" He stood to his feet "I'm fine Dawes, thanks. Just getting back into the swing of things. It's natural that I'm feeling it" he attempted a step on the offending leg, grabbing her shoulder for support before he buckled "All due respect sir but I think you're talking shit. Follow me, go easy"

His hand clutched her shoulder. He was certain she could feel every bit of fire in her belly that he could. Her eyes were soft when she looked at him, there was no anger there like he expected. She had either recovered from the pain he'd caused her or was once again queen of concealing her true feelings to those she didn't trust. He hoped it wasn't the latter.

Smurf watched from the window, anger building up inside him. It hadn't even been a week and they'd already found their way back to each other, there was something in the way they looked at each other. And he wasn't fucking happy about it.

-OG-

"Take your boot and sock off Sir" he did as instructed as she shoved a pillow underneath his ankle "It really is fine now Molly. I've walked it off. And you don't have to call me Sir when we're in private, you know that don't you?"

She took in the bright red scars "Well I wouldn't be a very good medic if I didn't at least check it over. And you are my CO, so I will call you Sir"

He watched her as she worked, their eyes meeting occasionally as they stole awkward glances. He'd ached for this for so long, to have her hands on his body once again.

"Can you rotate it?" He nodded and demonstrated with a slight wince "flex and extend your foot please" he did as instructed, enjoying the warmth of her hands as she supported his lower leg "You've over done it that's all. Can't see any signs of a sprain or worse but I'm going to bandage it up for support anyway. No more drills for you today okay?" He nodded. This was dangerous territory, for both of them. Nothing had changed for him, his feelings were still very much still there. Once he'd begun to recover that phase of his life seemed like a dream. Actually more like a nightmare, his life without Molly in it was most definitely a nightmare. He'd struggled to accept he'd let her go so easily. The Charles that had made those mistakes had a lot to answer for.

"Anything else while we're here sir? How's your stomach?" She forget herself for a moment as she pulled at his top to reveal his healed wounds. "All good it seems"

He cleared his throat, disappointment flooded him as he realised they'd be departing each other's company soon "It's fine Dawes. I'm fine - Thank you" he jumped to his feet "See, all sorted. You've worked your magic once again" she smiled at him "Yeah well, know your limits in future please and it will keep you off my table"

She could feel his eyes on her back as she tidied away her mess. Her cheeks flushed red giving away her discomfort.

"Are you sure you are okay with this Molly? It seems that they didn't do their homework before placing me back with 2 section. I can ask for a transfer if this is uncomfortable for you?"

She turned to face him with a smile on her face "I'm okay with it if you are? I mean we decided to be friends so let's just crack on and get the job done. It has been 4 years almost after all. I'm over it" he nodded in agreement "Friends it is... I'm glad you're happy Molly" she smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes "Yeah I am.. really happy"

He didn't know what to say. Of course he was glad she was happy, but that didn't stop it stinging. He departed her feeling quite deflated. These feelings had hit him like a tonne of bricks in the few days back at the Barracks and he scolded himself for not expecting to run into her.

"You two looked cosy" said Georgie almost sarcastically "Just a quick check up on the leg with the medic. Nothing in it" he justified "None of my business either way"

"Look Georgie. We're all here and it's awkward and I know it's all down to me. But can we please try and make the best of it before people start talking again?"

She knew he was right "Yeah I guess if she can then so can I"

"Great! It would be lovely if you two could be friends again?"

Georgie laughed "Now you're asking too much. She hates my guts"

He smiled at her reassuringly "I think you know as well as I do, Molly loves to surprise people" Georgie laughed "Yeah I might get a surprise punch in the face" they walked towards the mess hall together, completely aware that all eyes were on them.

"Fuck 'em Charlie. Let's get some lunch. We are mates after all"

They sucked up their anxiety, people would just have to lump it as far as Georgie was concerned. Even Molly.

-OG-

The unfortunate timing of their toilet breaks led to an uncomfortable encounter. There was no buffer here, no 2 section to start conversation with. No papers to push around the desk. It was just them, shoulder to shoulder as they touched up their equally beautiful faces in the pub toilet.

"Molly can we talk? Can I buy you a drink?"

"You've got some fucking nerve Georgie I'll give you that" she seethed "What is it? I stole you husband but here's a glass of wine to say sorry for all the nights you cried alone and lonely without him. All the bleedin' time knowing you were shacked up in my bloody house with him, in my fucking bed. Nah, fuck off. And once you get there, fuck off from there too"

"Molly it's was all a mistake. I'm sorry. I miss you"

Molly shook her head "Should have thought about that when you shagged me bloke before he'd even served me the divorce papers. Fuck you Georgie! Stay out my face or you won't be so bloody pretty by the time I'm finished with you"

Molly fled the pub. Coming here had been a massive mistake. Everything was going to shit and it was all their fault.

-OG-

The familiar sound of Smurf falling through the front door woke her "Didn't your mother teach you about getting bladdered on a school night?"

He glared at her "Yeah well, some of us get pushed to drink. And let's not pretend that you weren't in the pub... again" he spat. She already knew what it was all about, he was jealous and he'd been watching her.

She covered her ears with the pillow as the ranting and raving started. He'd promised he'd never physically hurt her again, but mentally he was draining.

"Saw him with her didn't I. Knocking back glasses of wine with his bit on the side while you sit here pining for him" she didn't take the bate even though he was hitting her right where it hurts and he knew it.

-OG-

Charles

I can't pretend that as soon as I was confronted with both Lane and Molly on my first day back in service that I didn't immediately pick up the phone and book myself in for a counselling session.

Four years later and my stupidity is still coming back to bite me on the arse. It's Molly who has surprised me the most of the two, she's been remarkably mature and treated me with upmost respect despite the fact I feel she secretly wants to punch my face in. However I know Molly, I know this is a mask.. a coping mechanism. It's her way of telling me it doesn't hurt anymore and I sincerely hope that is the case.

I can't fight the fact that I want to be around her. It's all I've wanted for the last four years. This leads to more guilt than I already carry. Guilt that the woman currently laying in my arms, who is kind and beautiful and has done so much for me is not the woman I want and I knew that from the start.

"Whats wrong?" He held her at arms length, her face full of concern "I know you said not to get involved Charles but I can't pretend I'm not hearing this" by this of course she meant the constant barrage of abuse that travelled through the walls "She's just a young girl. And he's one of yours, I've seen him in uniform. Can't you do anything?" Charles rolled his eyes "Look Amy, I know you care about everyone one you meet sweetheart but we cannot get involved in people's domestics" he sighed at the ruined mood. He could see it bothered her and if he was honest he was more than a little concerned about it himself.

"I'll give them a knock, make sure whoever it is will be alright" she smiled at him "Thank you baby"

He was often in awe of her kindness and her beauty. He'd met her a such a low point of his life yet she had never failed to put a smile on his face. He'd tried so hard to love her as much as she did him but it was useless. His heart belonged elsewhere.

-OG-

"Medic if you could keep an eye on the Captains leg I'd be very grateful. I've seen he's been having some episodes of pain and limping so please make sure he isn't over doing things" Molly nodded in response to the Brig. He seemed to be keeping a very close eye on the entire section "Yes sir" he excused himself leaving her alone with Smurf.

She could feel his eyes on her at every opportunity as she tidied up for the day. His small but stocky frame watched her every move from the doorway. She turned to the sound of a throat being cleared "Smurf, good to see you" their exchange made her wince "Sir, good to see you too. I was just waiting to take Molly home" Charles nodded, his mouth forming that familiar awkward O as he struggled to find a response "Ok well I won't keep her a minute. If you could close the door on your way out I'd appreciate it"

She saw the fire in his eyes as he followed the Captain orders "I'm going for a drink. Don't forget the milk on your way home"

Their eyes never left each other "Everything okay Dawes?" She nodded as she slipped off his boot. His face almost level with hers now that he sat on the table "Yes sir why wouldn't it be" He shrugged "You just don't seem yourself. You're quiet for one" she smiled "Just tired that's all"

She began going through the motion of checking and strapping his ankle as per instruction.

"Any pain? Apart from the obvious end of day aches?" He shook his head "Only a little when I run" He hated that he enjoyed this, enjoyed her touch and the alone time and if he was honest he wasn't in pain at all. He just really enjoyed spending time with her "You just need to go easy and get your stamina up that's all"

He climbed to his feet "I'm going to the shops, I can give you a lift. Make up for keeping you late"

"You don't need to do that Char... Sir, Just doing my job" He resisted the urge the take her hand the way he had done in the dusty FOB in Afghan. "I won't take no for an answer. Let's double away then Dawes, I've kept you long enough"

The smile she gave him as she climbed out of his Range Rover sent shivers down his spine. "Thanks for the lift boss, I can walk from here" he searched her eyes for something even he wasn't sure of.

"Okay we'll get home safely" she nodded "Night Charlie " she whispered as he drove away. His eyes lingered over her as she pulled out her phone, presumably to find out where dickhead had got too.

He limped his way up the stairs to his apartment, fuming that the lift was once again out of order. He'd tempted fate by faking pain in his ankle in the beginning just to spend time with her. Now he was paying for it.

"You're limping again Boss" her voice came from behind him. He stared at her confused "Everything alright Dawes? Did you need something?" She shared his confusion "Could ask you the same thing. What you doing here?" He pulled at the curls at the back of his neck as she'd followed him.

"There you are!" Amy appeared from the their front door "Are you Okay?" Her voice was full of concern for Charles as he felt crimson rising in his face "I can see you've met our neighbour"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! So glad you are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it X**

-OG-

He gulped hard as the realisation hit him, she was closer than ever now. Molly stared at Amy "Oh you know each other?" She already knew the answer and it was hard to hide the disappointment "Amy this is Molly. She's our medic and apparently our neighbour. Molly this is Amy, my girlfriend" his tone was icy "Ah Molly. So lovely to meet you properly and put a name to the face and a face to the name"

She wanted the ground to swallow her up "Nice to meet you too. Anyway, I'll let you get on. This numpty needs to rest" Charles gave her a grateful nod "Goodnight Boss" he wrapped his arm around Amy's waist "Night Dawes"

She shuffled dejectedly, although she wasn't sure why. He wasn't hers anymore, hadn't been for a really long time and now things were beyond impossible. She was met by Smurf, his eyes firmly on Charles "Cosy" he sneered. She rolled her eyes and pushed passed him, sighing at the thought of the night that lay ahead.

Charles slammed the door closed behind him. Now haunted by what he had let happen to her night after night. Haunted by the fact the he was up shit creek when it came to the women in his life past and present. "I need a beer" he announced but Amy had already uncapped one.

"Charles you're as white as a ghost! Has it been a bad day?" He closed his eyes tightly as anxiety tightened his chest "You have no fucking idea".

-OG-

"Everything alright Dawes? You look tired" Major Morley closed the door behind him "Fine thank you sir. What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to check how Captain James is doing, make sure he's not over doing it. I've noticed he no longer seeks any treatment from you?"

Molly closed the report she was writing "Honestly Sir he's doing fine. You'd barely know he'd been injured, he's worked really hard on his fitness and it's paid off" Morley accepted her word "Well that's great news Dawes. Do you think he's up to par for possible deployment?" She nodded, excited at the prospect of going on tour "I do Sir. I'd say he's back to full fitness"

She felt fiercely loyal to Charles despite the fact he barely spoke to her since he discovered they were neighbours. He'd kept things strictly professional even though Amy was hell bent on making Molly her new best friend.

Molly felt guilty for keeping her at arms length but there was too much on the line for both her and Charles.

Smurf had taken the news of their new neighbour particularly badly and if she was honest, she was deeply unhappy at her situation which was becoming more volatile by the day, spending time with Amy was going to cause more trouble than it was worth. Most nights she was scared to go home and yearned for his company. She often found herself making herself busy with things that didn't concern her around the barracks, further catching the eye of Bone's and opening herself up to him trying to spend time with her.

Guilt filled Charles' belly as he filed the paperwork to transfer her. Professionally he was doing her a massive disservice but he wasn't comfortable spending everyday fighting his feelings for her. He was becoming increasingly concerned about her home situation too. Every night ended in some kind a argument, well on Smurf's part anyway and Charles quite often found her seeking peace when he put the bins out or was coming in late. He felt guilty that he hadn't stepped in, Amy was pushing for him too but he knew Molly and he didn't feel she would appreciate his interference in her relationship after how he'd hurt her.

He closed the door to the medics room silently, almost creeping up on her, keen not to be seen by Smurf who always seemed to be lurking "Jesus boss you nearly gave me a Julius" he smiled at her awkwardly, again pondering if he was doing the right thing "What can I do for you?" She placed her hand on his arm as she ushered him towards the bed and he couldn't help it, it felt good.

"I need to speak to you" she raised an eyebrow "If this is about me and Smurf then I'm sorry he's got such a big gob" he stopped with a single finger to his lips.

"Where did you get that bruise?" His voice was full of concern.

Her hand moved protectively to cover the side of her face. She thought she'd done a better job than that of covering it.

"It's nothing Sir. Fell over after one to many with that bunch of tossers on me way home from the pub. All class me"

He bit his lip, seemed like it could be the truth. That was if he didn't already know better.

"If Smurf is hurting you Molly, Which I think he is, then I need you to tell me. I can help you"

She let out a small laugh to herself "We're fine really. Even if our rows sound out of control, we're good"

It wasn't often he found himself lost for words. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. His hand settled on her cheek, the warmth and softness sending shivers down his spine.

"I can't stand the thought of him hurting you"

She moved into his touch enjoying it momentarily before pulling away "Don't Charles. Just don't" she whispered. "Let me help you Molly. I can have him gone from here, all you have to do is say the word"

Their eyes bore into each other. There was so much confusion between them and a deep need for each other that neither of would admit. Both fighting the same urges.

His lips brushed gently across hers before he pulled away "I'm sorry Molly, I'm out of line. We can't go here again. We're both settled, for fuck sake your even engaged to that Welsh Wanker. And Amy, well I couldn't do it to her, she got me through my recovery" she felt the tears prickling in her eyes "Whatever" she spat, turning her back on him.

Now certainly wasn't the right time to drop his bombshell although it was now more obvious than ever that it was the right thing to do.

"I'll catch up with you tomorrow. Our chat can wait. Think about what I said, I'll wipe the floor with him"

He turned on his heels leaving her alone and vulnerable. She hated feeling this way. So unhappy with Smurf and so utterly in love with Charles. It was the only thing keeping her going. She'd been fighting it since he came back. She was in love with Charles James all over again.

-OG-

"Hold your bleedin' horses, I heard you the first bloody time" if she could put her fist through the door and throat punch whoever was on the other side she would have. It had been a long week of Smurfs shit and she was tired and feeling sorry for herself and all she wanted to do was sit on the sofa and watch crap on tv. The knocking stoked the bad mood she'd been fighting off all bloody day. All she wanted was peace and anyone who disturbed that was going to get it. However, the pretty blonde standing on the other side clutching two bottles of expensive wine didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of hurricane Molly.

"Sorry Amy, I thought it was the delivery bloke again" Amy smiled back at her "That's Okay, I know you're tired. Charles is sparko already and well I thought it would be a shame to let these go to waste. And if I'm honest I felt a bit lonely"

Molly stood aside, she seemed too nice to keep turning away her gestures of friendship. And maybe she might piss off and leave her alone if she realised what a miserable cow Molly actually was these days.

"As you've supplied to wine, I'll get us a pizza"

Amy beamed from ear to ear "Girls night in it is then"

Molly hated to admit to herself how much she liked Amy. She could see why Charles loved her, she was kind, beautiful, funny and smart. Everything Molly felt she wasn't. They were well suited.

"So how long have you and Charles been together?"

"Oh nearly two years now. I was his home rehab assistant, his parents hired me to go round and help him out. He was in a bad way both mentally and physically. Then on top of his injuries he got divorced. It hit him really hard. Or so his mother told me, he's never mentioned the wife"

Molly couldn't stop the pain in her heart, this was so much harder than she'd imagined.

"So how do you feel about your new section? Have you met them yet?" Amy knew by the look on Molly's face she'd fucked up.

"New section? I'm not sure I follow?"

Amy felt sick looking at the hurt in Molly's face, Charles was going to kill her. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said anything" she grabbed her bag "I'm really sorry Molly"

She'd grabbed her bag and was gone before Molly had a chance to really process what she'd said but after some thought, she knew what was coming. He'd betrayed her in the worst possible way, he'd messed with her career - the only thing that was keeping her going.

-OG-

Her green eyes seemed brighter against the redness that rimmed them. She was tired and she was upset and every single bit of him wanted to take her into his arms and kiss away whatever it was that was hurting her.

"Sit down Dawes. Let's have this chat" he couldn't

put it off any longer. Word was traveling around the barracks with several CO's interested in recruiting her.

She did as instructed although she was tempted to put him out of his misery and tell him that she already knew but why should she spare him when he was about to do the unthinkable. He pulled at the curls on the back of his neck "Dawes..." she hated the look of anguish in his eyes.

"It's okay. I already know" her voice shook.

"Know what?" His eyes widened in shock

"That you don't want me around anymore. You're kicking me out the section"

His heart sank as she said the words, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"It's really not like that Molly. It's me, not you. Please don't think this is personal or that you aren't up to the job. You are the best medic I have ever had the privilege of working with. Not to mention the fact you've saved my life. I could never repay you for that"

"Instead you just kick me out of my section without a second thought to how that might look professionally. I get it, you don't want me. But this is the lowest way you could ever punish me for being with Smurf"

He was lost for words "It's not that Molly. It's not that at all..."

She shook her head, the pain in her neck troubling her with every slight movement.

"You can take the rest of the day to compose yourself. You'll report to Captain Sullivan of 3 section tomorrow morning"

The small smile she gave him shattered him as he watched her walk away "It's for the best" he told himself but who was he trying to fool? "It's for the best James" he affirmed.

She slammed the toilet cubicle behind her, letting her body slide down the wall until her arse met the cold floor with a thud . She wrapped her arms round her knees, tucking her face into her legs hoping it would muffle the sobs she was holding back. How could he do this? And to place her with Georgie of all people.

The tears came fast now. Aldershot was meant to be her fresh start. She knew Smurf had his problems before they got together and once Charles was out of the picture they'd been okay for awhile. But his demons always crept back to the surface.

She prayed that their new life would be exactly that - a brand new life but instead he was growing increasingly angry and paranoid and jealous of Charles' presence in Molly's life, even though it was in a professional capacity. The shouting had moved on to something more physical and frightening and although he was always apologetic the next morning, she knew he'd do it again with the next drink.

Charles stood in the corridor massaging the back of his neck. That had gone much worse than anticipated.

"I heard you were in the habit of making women cry" Bones said dryly.

"It's not what you think" Charles protested.

"Listen wet stuff, I couldn't give a toss what it was. I heard you were transferring Dawes out and I've come to see if she's really worth the hype? I was thinking of seconding her"

Charles bit his lip "Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest considering you like to ply her with wine and try to shag her?"

Bones roared with laughter "Coming from you golden bollocks? Your whole career is a conflict of interest and I haven't been investigated for shagging my medics.. although there's a first time for everything"

Charles thought on what Bones had said for a moment, he owed it to her to path the way for this opportunity "She is a top class medic. You'd be lucky to have her, however on a personal level, I wouldn't be comfortable with her being put such danger"

Bones brought himself almost nose to nose with Charles. "You forfeited the right to that concern when you shagged her mate"

Charles was lost for words "Don't think I don't know all about you Charlie boy. I made it my business to know exactly how much of a cock you've been over the years. And if you don't like the idea of me pursuing your ex wife either personally or professionally then you shouldn't have shit on her from such a great height"

Charles' mouth hung open as Bones went looking for Molly. He knew he disliked him, but this was another level of contempt that Bones held for him.

-OG-

"You been awfully quiet Charles. What's on your mind?" Amy stroked a stray curl away from his forehead "Talk to me"

He had to think hard before he spoke, in fear of giving his feelings away "I'm just feeling incredibly guilty about the whole Molly situation. A lot of questions have been raised and I'm worried I've compromised her professionally"

"I don't pretend to know the ins and outs of the army Charles but I do trust your judgement and if you feel like it was the right thing then you should trust it too"

He felt bad that everyone presumed it was a short coming on Molly's behalf but that couldn't be further from the truth. She had grown to be an exceptional soldier and it was his own feelings for her that had led to the decision he was now desperately trying to back track on. He knew Bones liked her on a personal level and that professionally they'd work well together. Once she was under his wing, she'd be long gone.

He worked through his coping strategies to help with his mixed up emotions and anxiety as he thought about explaining his change of heart to her. He'd seen the same hurt in her eyes that he'd caused her years before, something he promised himself he would never do again.

Amy massages his scalp, willing away the tension in him. He'd changed dramatically in the short time he'd been back and she was worried. Worried he was falling into old habits and worried that he was slipping away from her.

-OG-

It felt odd to treat Captain McClyde like an actual army officer instead of the piss taking, wine buying gobshite who regularly tried to get in her knickers and slagged off her ex husband at every opportunity.

"You wanted me Sir?"

"Sit down Dawes. And shut the door, although don't get any ideas of ripping my clothes off. We'll save that for another day" he grinned.

She closed the door and sat down as instructed whilst suppressing the giggles she always felt when he flashed her that sexy as fuck smile. She'd be lying if she hadn't wondered what it would be like to shag him and it was a bonus he'd dropped Georgie like the sack of shit that she was to pursue her. She needed that confidence boost because Charles had succeeded in destroying her once more.

"Listen Dawes, I've got an offer for you. You don't have to give me an answer now, think on it for awhile - it's a big thing"

She brought herself back into the conversation, daydreams of his sweaty muscular body dampened by him talking shop.

"I need a medic to join us on a highly dangerous and difficult job. Can't give you the ins and outs until we're on that plane But it's more dangerous that anything you've ever faced"

"I'm in" she said, cool as a cucumber but inside she was ecstatic.

"Think about it. I know Captain Stiff has done a U-turn so that is your other option. Not that you should be under his command but who am I to question"

He noticed the spark in her eyes. Eyes that had been glazed over with unshed tears of late.

He kept his ear to the ground, knew every whisper and rumour and she was the subject of most of them considering her position with Lane and James and now her addition troubles with Smurf.

If anyone could turn her life around it was him and he was willing to do it personally and professionally.

"I'll see you Monday for your answer Dawes"

She was floating on air as she left his office, excited at the prospect of something completely new to take her away from here.

She turned on her heel at the sight of Charles hurrying towards her. "Dawes have you got a minute?" She turned to face him although didn't lift her eyes to meet his. It hurt too much.

"Sir?"

He remembered a time when her face would light up at the sight of him in these very corridors. Where they'd steal every moment possible together, like teenagers behind the bike sheds. To polar opposite to how she stood before him now. Her eyes glazed over with sadness and her body became tense. The easiness that has been between them long gone.

"You alright?" He asked, resisting the urge the tilt her chin upwards with his finger the way he used too when he'd kiss her. He wanted more than anything to kiss her.

"Never better" she said sarcastically "Think your bit on the sides waiting for you" She was referring to Georgie who'd suffered an awkward case of bad timing as she made her was to Bones "My office please Dawes"

She followed him and slumped down in the chair opposite his. "Molly. I made a mistake with the transfer and I've done all I can to stop it. The choice is yours, you can stay with 2 section... stay with me or you can continue with the new section"

She didn't raise her eyes from the floor "Molly talk to me about what's going on at home. Please. Is there anything I can do? I know he's been hurting you" Finally she raised her head to look his square in the eye. "I seem to have a knack of picking blokes who hurt me Don't I?"

Her words stung. They'd never really had the opportunity to talk about things properly after it ended and that had been his fault. The respect she had shown him and the easy banter around they shared around the barracks had just been a mask of her real feelings, she was good at that. She never willingly let anyone know they'd hurt her.

"If that's all Charles then I'm off"

He stood up, his long legs making light work of closing the distance between them. "I never really took the time to tell you I was sorry. I'm still sorry"

He perched himself on the edge of the desk in front of her, the close proximity of him causing an unexpected flutter.

She bit her lip as she stood up, his hand catching hers to command her attention. "I regret what happened everyday"

She moved forward, placing herself between his legs. Her hands moved through his hair before she pulled his face towards her. He gave in and gently tested the water with a gentle kiss, he could feel how much she wanted this so deepened it until his tongue was massaging hers.

Molly thought it only happened in films, you know where you strip of your clothes a fling them round the place and swipe the desk clear to shag your ex husband on it. The fear of being caught added to excitement as 4 years worth of longing left their bodies. He was still the best she'd ever had. Smurf just never hit the mark once you'd had Charles as a lover. Her body shuddered around him as she buried her face in his neck. The smell of his aftershave delighting her nose the way it always had. They clung to each, no words - just listening to the sound of each other's breathing slowly returning to normal. This didn't feel wrong at all.

His kissed the top of her head before gently sliding himself from her grasp. She took in his scarred body. There was a new one added since she last saw him naked. "Oh Charles..." she panted as she run her fingers across it before kissing the length of the puckered red skin, he gave her a gentle smile. She always had overly worried about him "I'm okay"

He pulled her into his arms once again, kissing her as if his life depended on it. He wasn't sure what was going to come of this but he was sure it was going to make another fucking great mess.

-OG-

 **A/N - Oh what a naughty pair! Please r &r x**


	4. Chapter 4

Molly

Is is classed as an affair if the person your sleeping with is actually your ex husband? I already know the answer but I can't seem to help meself. We don't talk about the shit between us which is probably the first thing we should have done but it makes me into some kind of bunny boiling nutter when I think about it. It seems to hurt more now that he's back in my life and my bed.

I flit between biting his face off and wanting to kill him to ripping his fatigues off and shagging him half to death in some dingy hotel room or a random office in the barracks, wherever really, I'm not fussy when it comes to my need for him. I like that it's all on my terms, I'm in control this time.

I'm watching him, watch me as I sip the glass of wine that Bones has just bought me, much to the annoyance of everyone's favourite home wrecker. I'm sitting on a bar stool and I've got them both well and truly hooked. I'm not usually a cock tease but today I saw him and Georgie together and all that went through my head was the image of him shagging her in our bed. The one we bought together. The one we made love in night after night until he got ill and he didn't wanna touch me anymore. I hate to admit I'm getting off on his jealousy. Bones whispers something in my ear but I'm not listening, I can't take my eyes off of him. But I laugh hysterically even though I don't give a toss what he's got to say. Probably should work on that as he's my soon to be CO.

"What the fuck is that all about?" He spat at me, his brown eyes alight with jealous rage as he catches my arm outside the toilet. "If only you had cared so much when we were married, maybe we'd still be together"

He bit his lip and nodded his head in a way that in combination with his expression told me he got what I was up too.

My little game rapidly backfires on me when Smurf shows up. He glares at both Charles and Bones and I know I'm playing with fire. He already seems to hate my guts but he just won't let me go and I need him too. Our relationship is toxic.

-OG-

Charles

The night she finally left him. One of the worst nights of my life. Some may say she brought it on herself with the way she behaved in the pub but who is he to lay his hands on her. Who is he to hurt Molly.

I felt it in the pit of my stomach as soon as I looked in his eyes. He squared up to McClyde, who in turn swatted him away like an annoying fly. Not Smurf's best move considering he's the size of a pint and Bones, despite being a total tosser is a well built tosser who also happens to be one of the most mental fuckers I've ever encountered in all my years in the army.

He attempted to drag her from the pub by a handful of hair and I can honestly tell you that I have never moved so quickly in my life. Between myself, McClyde and her loyal friends in 2 section he never really stood a chance. But it was McClyde who took one for the team. What's one more bar brawl on his record?

My mistake was allowing her back to her flat. I woke to the sound of her screaming as he attacked her like the savage he is. He hit my wife. I let another man hit my wife. We may not be legally married anymore but in my head, this was only ever temporary. I guess I'm still in denial.

If it wasn't for Amy's terror and Molly's crying I'd have done a lot more to him than my sore knuckles now were suffering for. As McCylde and I sit before the Brig I realise that I'm really glad she has him as an ally. For the first time ever we share a common interest - to rid Molly of that bastard for good.

"Didn't know you had it in you" He flicked his head towards my bruised knuckles. "Neither did I to be honest, it wouldn't be my usual way of dealing with a fellow soldier but..." he didn't need to finish "Needs must and all that. It's not like the little shit wasn't asking for it. And well she is your _ex_ wife"

His emphasis on the words ex didn't go unnoticed.

"I thought you and Lane were a thing?" I asked with a raised, judging eyebrow "We do things but we're not a thing. She's changed, another bird you've ruined"

Maybe he wasn't wrong. The Molly I met in Afghan never would have put up with Smurf's shit. Maybe I broke her down to be accepting of his treatment.

And maybe I've had more affect on Lane than I'd care to admit. She seems quite lonely when she wonders around the Barracks and I'd give anything to extend the same friendship we had once shared.

-OG-

"Going away for a bit. Need to clear my head. Thank you... and sorry. M x"

He read the text over and over. It had already been days since he'd laid eyes on her. Amy massaged the tension in his shoulders, the change in him was becoming more dramatic each passing day.

He'd moved frantically, chucking his stuff in an overnight bag and booking a hotel in London. He wasn't sure if it was home she'd even gone but he imagined she'd need her mum and her nan right now.

He was nervous as he climbed the stairs up to the Dawes' Home, he hadn't had to face them at all since they'd split but he could imagine that his name was absolute shit.

He hesitated before knocked, shit was probably about to hit the fan.

"Oh fuck me. What do you want?" Dave shouted as he attempted to shut the door in his face. "I need to see Molly"

"What the fuck for? You're another bleedin' tosser who's hurt her. May not have given her a slap but she still came home just as broken"

The look in Belinda's eyes shattered him. It wasn't one of anger or rage. It was pure disappointment. He hadn't only hurt Molly, he had hurt Belinda too by hurting her daughter so deeply.

"I'm not sure she'll wanna see ya Charlie, why you even 'ere?"

He dared to step inside as Dave backed down and shuffled back into the sitting room. Belinda was more than capable of dealing with him.

"I'm been working with Molly again, I just needed to see her and know she's okay. Please Belinda"

"She's in her room. Don't go thinking that you're off the hook though mate coz you bleedin' well ain't"

He squeezed Belinda's arm "Of course not. And thank you"

He climbed the stairs two at a time and regretted it massively by the time he reached to top. Too old and too injured to ever do that again.

He knocked the door gently, pushing it slowly when he didn't get an answer. He observed the frown on her face as she slept, she had slept like that a lot towards the end of their marriage. His doing. But he could make it all better this time, he knew he could if she'd let him.

He lingered awkwardly due to the lack of any space for him to sit. He'd always found it a complete culture shock when he thought of Molly growing up here. So little space and people all living on top of each other. It had been important for him to give her everything she'd ever wanted in a home when they were looking to buy one.

The day they had found 'the one' had been magical. A 4 bedroom on the outskirts of Bath City. Close enough to not feel isolated as per Molly's request but far enough away so that it was quiet and they had some land. They'd visited so many places she hadn't even wanted to bother that day, each property a let down in their own way.

He watched her eyes light up as she admired the old fashioned features the house still possessed. This was the one. Her fingers tightened round his unconsciously the more excited she grew. He'd give anything to see that face again. To see her that happy.

"Charles?" She said sleepily. As if she didn't quite believe he was really there. "Molly?" He smiled. So bloody handsome her heart fluttered.

"Sit down, your legs hurting" she shuffled to make room for him.

"What you doing here?" She asked as he struggled to squeeze himself under the bunk bed. His height had always made it tricky. "I came to see you, to see that you're really okay" he stroked a stray tendril of dark hair away from her eyes. "I'm so sorry Molly. I'm so sorry you have had to suffer what you have. I will never let anyone hurt you again, I can promise you that"

He stroked his thumb across her bruised cheek, angered that anyone could ever want to hurt her.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. His eyes glazed over "Will you hold me?" She whispered, patting the space next to her.

He wrapped his body around her carefully because he didn't know just how badly smurf had hurt her. "Come back to my hotel with me? Let me look after you. Like I should have been doing all these years. We can get take away and watch shit films"

She nuzzled into his chest like the last 4 years were all a distant memory. They were far from okay but it just felt right.

Belinda poked her head around the door, unsure wether she wanted to punch him or hug him. She'd missed him too. She'd missed the smile he put on her daughters face, she missed the easygoing happy air that Molly possessed when she was married to him. She missed Molly James. Molly Dawes was sad now, there was something missing.

He gestured some kind of apology at the way she had found them but it seemed a shame to move her.

"It's okay. Take your time" Belinda whispered.

-OG-

He watched her as she frantically threw civvies into her Bergen. "There's no rush, take your time" he said gently as she winced with every movement.

"I need to get out of here, the noise is doing my head in" he had to agree is wasn't the right place for her to be recovering. It was noisy and cramped and her bed had seen better days. He had prided himself on removing her from this situation when they got together, he needed to do it again.

"Ready" she said with urgency so he climbed to his feet quickly as he could, slinging her Bergen over his shoulder.

"You going somewhere?" Belinda ask almost accusingly as she glared at him. Molly followed him down the stairs knowing this was likely to end in an argument "I wanna go with Charles, I'll be back in a day or 2 okay mum. Thanks for having me"

She didn't put up a fight, it was worthless. She always knew Charles would win over anyone.

"Take care of my girl. And this time actually do it"

"I will, you have my word"

-OG-

He placed a gentle hand on her cheek as he unpacked her Bergen. "I have to go back to barracks tomorrow but this room is yours for as long as you want it" she smiled at him awkwardly "I shouldn't be here"

He pulled her into his arms "This is exactly where you should be and you know it" he tilted her chin upwards gently placing his lips on hers. She pulled as his shirt before slowly unbuttoning it and pushing it off his muscular shoulders.

He reciprocated, pulling her tshirt over her head, his fingers tracing the outline of the bruises pooling on her ribcage. He leaned down to kiss them "No one will ever hurt you again" she took his face in her hands, the need to kiss him was urgent.

She led him to the bed, by now both naked and aching for each other.

"We shouldn't be doing this. I'm no better than Georgie fucking Lane"

He kissed her neck, ignoring his phone as it buzzed on the bedside table. "Charles we can't do this. It ain't right" He shushed her but it was too late.

"Is this how it happened with Georgie? We're my calls ringing in the background while you fucked her?" Tears spilled from her eyes and he knew that this was it. This was the blow out he'd been waiting for.

"You fucked her in our bed Charles. You fucked my mate. Tell me how that's any better than what Smurf did. He battered my body but you battered my heart"

He pulled her close to him, but she pounded his chest with her fist "Fuck off Charles. Put my shit in the bag, I'm off"

He took her seriously as she pulled on her jeans. "I'll go Molly. You have the room. Recover and get better. I'll be here when you want me to be"

"Sodding off's your talent ain't it. Go on then spineless, piss off" he hovered in the middle of the room. "I'll do whatever it is you want me to do"

"I want you to undo the pain in my heart every time I think of you and her" she cried "I want you to undo our divorce and the loneliness and the pining for you but you can't. I loved you and you broke it. You broke everything"

He pulled her into his chest once again, holding her tightly as she sobbed "It was the biggest mistake of my life Molly and I know it's no excuse but I was so ill. But I'm me again now and I can put it right if you let me, let me work for it. I'll show you how much you mean to me"

He tipped her chin towards his face, staring directly into her eyes "Just let me"

She tiptoed so their lips met. She needed him more than anything. Nothing else mattered.

-OG-

"Charlie talk to me" she said softly before planting a gentle kiss in his hair.

"I just can't get the whole Molly situation out of my head. She was going through that for months and I just sat here and listened. You warned me and I did nothing and she was suffering at his hands"

Amy sighed "Sometimes we need to accept that we can't help people until they ask for it or before it's too late. You of all people should know that, after all. You lost your wife for that very reason"

He was trying to get his head around how to end things with Amy but it wasn't going to be easy. She had uprooted her life and her career to be with him in Aldershot and he owed her a lot. She'd been there for him when things with Georgie came to an end and when Molly didn't come home. She loved him and he knew it but it could never extinguish the ache in his heart caused by the Molly shaped hole.

It had started the same way with Molly. Working late and sometimes not coming home at all. He was avoiding the inevitable downfall of his current relationship. Another woman hung out to dry because Charles James couldn't forget the one who he had let get away.

He was sickened by Molly's imminent deploy with SF and they'd argued like an old married couple. Him pulling, her pushing. He was begging her not to leave.

He looked up from his mountain of paperwork at the sound of her Bergen thudding on the ground.

"What you still doing here? I was looking for you in the pub with the lads"

"You know my thoughts on you going Molly. I'm not going to the pub to pretend to be happy and wave you off. It's dangerous and I'm just not happy about it"

She stepped towards him, hoping he would meet her half way and wrap his arms around her. Things were beyond complicated. They'd been wrapped up in their dangerous affair for weeks now and he was finding it difficult to continue they way they were. But he couldn't bring himself to end it with Amy whilst Molly had one foot in and one foot out.

He was jealous of her and Bones and jealous she was his right hand woman and furious that it had been his own doing.

"Are you really going to be like this with me before I go?"

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Jealousy and stupidly and stubbornness were always his downfall when it came to her.

"Molly I can't let you go"

The hurt and anxiety and worry in his eyes saddened her "Ill be back before you know it. Back for Christmas, and maybe if you sort your world out we could spend it together" he knew what she meant, what she wanted him to do.

His was up off his feet and closing the space between them before she could even gauge how he felt about her request.

He swept her off her feet so her face was level with his "Is that a promise?" He said smiling.

"It's not a promise no, you have things to sort here whilst I'm gone. Now that Smurf is finally gone, it's down to you. It's not fair what we're doing to her Charles and you know it. Actually it's disgustin'. But I can't help it. I love you, always have"

He nodded in agreement "I'll need to let her down gently, but I promise I'll be ready for you when you get back..."

They lingered for a dangerously long time, they couldn't keep meeting this way. "Can I drive you to Brize?" He said softly as he pulled her close to him once again. She wrapped her arms around his torso, taking in his smell, savouring it for the hard month ahead. "Bones is waiting for me. Look after yourself won't you? No heroics on that leg, I'm not here to patch you up and keep the brig off your back"

"I will if you will. Be safe"

They smirked at each other "Go on then numpty, I know you want too"

He laughed "Stay focused. Stay alert and for fuck sake stay alive" She saluted him "Yes Sir"

She picked up her bergen, it was much harder to tear herself away from him than she remembered.

She planted a lingering kiss on his lip before cupping and stroking his cheek. Now she really had to go.

"Molly...?"

She turned to face him, urging the tears that burnt her eyes to stay exactly where they were.

"Yeah..?"

"Come back to me"

The look in his eye almost shattered her soul. He was full of love but also full of worry and she wanted more than anything to protect him from that.

"Always James"


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so sorry this chapter has taken me awhile. I wasn't happy with it and originally wanted to rewrite but life has thrown us a crappy curve ball and I haven't had the chance to change it. So figured it was meant to go up as is. I'm not sure how long it will be until I next get to write and update. My partner has been in hospital all week and with a 2 year old and a newborn things are a little crazy.**

 **Thank you for the reviews on the previous chapter - they make me smile when I'm feeling a bit crap! X**

-OG-

Molly smiled to herself as she read his latest email.

 _"You're mother was right, it is a bit shit here without you..."_

It was clear he was missing her and she was looking forward to going home from a tour for the first time in years. Working with special forces had really wet her appetite for what was next for her in her military career. She'd loved every second of the covert operation and the fact that she couldn't even tell Charles where she was or what she was doing thrilled her a little. This was the direction she wanted to take.

Bones was a firm but fair leader and as gobby as he was, she gave as good as she got which he loved.

He made it clear he was interested in something when they got home, told her the ball was in her court. She enjoyed the banter between them, it was different to anything she had shared with anyone before, even Charles. She could see herself being interested in him if things with Charles hadn't progressed they way they had before she left. No one could be more surprised than she was. She had a lot of time on her hands to really think about things. She knew how it would look to people and what they would say - that she's a push over, she let him off too easily blah blah blah. But she loved him, it was as simple as that. She'd accepted at the time that things hadn't been entirely his fault, she'd forgive him anything apart from having sex with Georgie. But he _was_ sorry, and after all these years, that was enough for her. They'd both spent long enough hurting and pining and life was too short to continue fighting it. She even found herself softening towards Georgie, something she never saw coming but if she could forgive him, maybe she could forgive her too?

She spent a considerable amount of time feeling guilty about Amy, the only innocent party in this mess. Molly felt guilty for the time she and Charles had spent sleeping together behind her back and the heartbreak she now would inevitably be going through but she wouldn't continue being his bit on the side. He owed her more than that.

-OG-

"May I ask why you need this back? Please don't tell me you're planning on reusing it?" Martha James glared at her son in horror "No mother. I'm not planning on reusing Molly's rings" she saw a wave of sadness flash across his face "I know that look. What's going on in that head of yours Charles? Talk to me" he sighed heavily. "I've never forgiven myself for how my marriage to Molly ended. We've been spending time together and she still loves me... I still love her..."

Martha raised her hands to stop him "Woah, woah, woah there sunshine. There is a woman downstairs who has given up everything for you Charles. Her home, her job and her friends. She gave it all up to follow you and your career to make you happy. If you're going to let her down, do it kindly and do it quickly. No more deceit or lies or hiding things. You deserve to be happy, but so help me Charles if you hurt Molly again I'll kill you myself"

She smiled secretly to herself. He had never been the same without Molly, and she had always missed her. She'd been the making of his after that tour of Afghanistan and those terrible injuries. She some how managed to keep him afloat after a run of bad luck, she made him happy again but not even she could undo the damage of Elvis' death. He'd done well to recover mentally and although he thought he owed it all the Amy, he did it himself with her hand to hold. But she was no Molly.

He placed his hand protectively over the ring box in his pocket. Maybe he would be lucky enough to return them to their rightful owner.

-OG-

The officers Christmas ball, he was fucking dreading it. Amy was late home from work so he'd had to brave an entrance to stares and whispers by himself. People still talked about him. He'd lost a lot of respect and having Georgie around the barracks didn't help. Every time they were seen speaking people raised eyebrows.

His attention was caught by a shimmering silhouette on the dance floor. Long dark hair shone and spun with Molly as Bones twisted her in an elegant, strictly come dancing kind of spin. She flung her head back, laughing hysterically as his hands shimmied down her back onto her tiny hips.

He caught his bottom lip in his mouth, unsure why it bothered him so much. She'd made her feelings clear before she left and through emails whilst she was away. She was very much ready to face the music and be with him no matter the backlash it would cause.

It hurt him that she never even texted to say she was back in one piece. He'd worried whilst she was away, lost many a nights sleep hoping that she was safe and well.

He decided that Bones had had his lot as far Molly was concerned. They just spent the best part of six months together.

He tapped Bones on the shoulder "May I cut in?"

If looks could kill, Charles would surely be dead as Bones expressed his distaste for him. "What is this a high school fucking prom?"

He moved aside and allowed Charles his dance reluctantly.

"You look beautiful" he grinned from ear to ear

"You don't look to shabby yourself. You always did get me in that uniform Captain"

"Should I be worried about him?" He asked nervously. She found this side of him endearing, he was sweet rather than the jealous tosser she so often found herself on the receiving end of.

"You've never needed to worry about anyone as far as I'm concerned, it's only ever been you.."

She stared up into his smiling face. It was the same smile he wore when she walked down the isle and when they'd had their first dance. A smile she hadn't seen for a very long time. It lit up his face and his eyes and he looked ten years younger than he had just minutes ago.

"You're so beautiful" she whispered "Ditto"

He adjusted the pace of their swaying to suit the new tempo of the music. The stiffness in his leg didn't really allow for dancing these days.

" _My shadow's dancing, without you for the first time. My heart is hoping, you'll walk right in tonight._

 _Tell me there are things that you regret_

 _'Cause if I'm being honest I ain't over you yet_

 _That's all I'm asking_

 _Is it too much to ask?"_

"Didn't have you pegged as a 1D fan?" She teased

"What?" He chuckled "the song, it's made you emotional" she wasn't wrong. He struggled to compose himself "sometimes, when lyrics seems appropriate to a situation, it can make one feel emotional" they held each other gaze. If they weren't in public she would absolutely be kissing him right now.

Amy rushed through the door, searching for her name on the seating plan. She hated long dresses and he'd made no effort to help her chose on their recent shopping trip. In fact he'd seemed completely uninterested in the whole thing. If it hadn't been for her insistence, they probably wouldn't have gone at all.

She located him on the dance floor but he hadn't noticed her as he slow danced. She couldn't make our who it was from behind. She wasn't sure wether it was Molly or Georgie. He was close to both girls so chances are they were keeping him company until she arrived.

She grew increasingly uncomfortable with his proximity to whoever she was as they danced. She tried to catch his facial expression but it was dark so she moved forward to try and get his attention.

The smile and the look in his eye made her heart sink. He'd never looked at her in that way.

"Feel sorry for whatever poor sod has to put up with him" Bones said casually as he stood arms folded next to her. "Why's that then?" She was intrigued now "Well look at them. Been divorced four years now and she still won't fucking let anyone else in, trust me I've tried. By the look on his face he feels the same. It's just a matter of time, she'll ruin her life for him"

Charles caught the horror in Amy's face as Bones approached to reclaim his dancing partner.

"Please excuse me" he panicked as she looked in bewildered. He picked up his drink and necked it before facing her, bones had obviously said something to drop him in it. Maybe it was for the best. He was dreading hurting her and wanted to get Christmas out of the way before he made the move. Molly would understand. He couldn't send her packing back to an unhappy life right on top of what Amy called the most wonderful time of the year.

"Hello handsome" her voice broke "you look amazing" she pulled him into her arms, squeezing him tightly. He was hers.

"You look lovely. Did you see Molly is back?"

She nodded before burying her face in his neck "What's wrong?" He moved her so they were face to face "Amy?" She blinked back tears "Nothing, I just missed you that's all"

He turned to glance at Molly as jealousy clouded her face. Jealousy that turned to hurt when she realised he hadn't kept to his end of the bargain. She gave a small nod of acceptance.

"Didn't realise that was his latest bird" Bones said cooly. Molly tired her best to blink back the tears she was fighting "Yeah she seems nice"

Bones felt guilty for potentially causing her trouble but decided against telling her. It would only fuck things up and he really wanted to break through the barrier that was stopping him from getting close to her. The barrier was Charles.

"Let's get our of here? You look far too good for this lot, let me take you up town. I wanna wine and dine you in that dress. Saves us having to make nice with Captain boring and his stiff of a barbie doll"

He led her off the dance floor and passed James with his head firmly towards the floor. This wasn't about getting one up on Charles, it was about his genuine affection for Molly which was only growing the more time they spent. He enjoyed the care free, low maintenance air Molly had about her. She made him laugh and gave him as good as she got, he hadn't met anyone like her and he got why Charles had fallen for her. He just didn't get what she saw in Charles.

Molly too cast her eyes towards the floor when she saw the jealousy in his eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him but she couldn't stay and watch this. Amy was all over him like a rash and it made Molly's skin crawl. She'd got off that plane at Brize and felt happy to be home, she thought she was coming home to him.

She stopped Bones in his tracks "I can't do this, it's not what I want" he turned to face her, taking her face in his hands "I like you Molly. And technically you're not under my command so there's nothing stopping us. Except you"

He couldn't help but notice her keep looking back in Charles' direction "We can go back if you want? If you want to torture yourself..."

She looked on at Amy stroking him like some prized cat "Nah, you're right. Let's go! I ain't looking for anything though" Bones nodded "Let me just take you out, give you a bit of fun.. you deserve it after what we've just been through"

Amy had felt his body go ridged when bones took her hand. He hadn't relaxed since. They'd sat awkwardly through the dinner and the rest of the dancing whilst he had a face like a slapped arsed and he glared at his phone every 30 seconds and she drank the bar dry because she couldn't wrap her head around why they had lied. If she was oblivious to his feelings for Molly before she certainly wasn't now.

"Everything okay?" She asked impatiently "Fine, why wouldn't it be?" He checked himself, his own tone of voice taking even him by surprise. None of this was her fault. "Want to make a move?"

He was grateful when she rose to her feet, obviously in agreement that this night was well and truly over.

His eyes were almost black with jealousy as he watched Molly let herself and Bones into their apartment building. Fuming at his poor timing. She didn't look happy, far from it actually and he knew that again he was the cause of the sadness in her eyes. He'd let her down again.

Amy's arm tightened around his torso. Ally cats staked less claim to things. It was bad news that she was starting to annoy him now as he followed slowly behind his neighbour hoping not to be noticed. There was no kiss goodnight or even any pleasantries, by the looks of things he just saw her home. Charles was glad.

They gave each other s polite nod which was surprisingly civil for Bones who dropped his eyes rather than look at Amy. He wasn't in the habit of being spiteful to women and he felt guilty for his earlier admission which was fuelled by jealousy.

Charles could imagine her pulling off her heels and chucking them the way she always did in their home. It had annoyed him at first, especially when Sam would do the same and there would be a mountain of unorganised shoes in the hallway and it drove him crazy when he'd trip over one and jar his fucking leg and spend the day limping with Sam taking the piss and they'd be laughing at him. They were always laughing at him but secretly she was always taking care of him. Pulling him a stool in Starbucks to take the weight off even if it meant her standing but she'd snuggle between his legs with her hand rested exactly where the pain was and it felt better just for that. Or the way she carried his horse tranquilliser strength painkillers in her bag 'just in case' and the fact she'd learnt to drive so he didn't have too because it hurt his leg more than he'd ever let on.

Memories burned him, even made him emotional these days. He missed her and it was painful and once again he was in the shit and looked like a shit because he was about to let another woman down and had already let Molly down by not keeping his promise or spending Christmas with her.

He followed Amy through the front door on autopilot not hearing a word she was saying but she was laughing so he laughed too - autopilot again and this felt all too familiar. He was checking out mentally. He carried on going through the motions of unzipping her dress and responding to her advances and making all the right groaning noises but his thoughts we across the hall with the love of his life who was in bed alone.

She'd given him the spare key before she left "Can you water my plants and shit? Run the duster round?" She joked and he'd given her a little slap on her perfect bum before pulling her into his arms and holding her face like it was precious china. Her eyes glistened with happiness even though they were sneaking around and shagging behind Amy's back.

He thought back to the perfect moment they had shared only hours ago on the dance floor where the lyrics of some good forsaken song had wreaked havoc with his emotions as he held her and she laughed at him the way she always did. The perfect moment that it took seconds to smash into pieces when she realised he hadn't kept his word. He thought back to all the other beautiful moments they had shared that were now tainted and broken and for the first time ever the magnitude of his wrong doings really hit him. He sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands desperately unhappy with himself. He'd never seen himself as a bad man. He was a gent and a romantic or at least he had been until he allowed himself to be motivated by everything but his heart. Now he was the typical Officer stereotype "a woman in every port" his dad had once joked. He needed to put everything right.

-OG-

He stared into the disgusting coffee that had been shoved at him by Bones in the canteen this morning as select members of his section eyed him suspiciously. They knew that look. The new members took it for a hangover but anyone who knew Charles James knew that troubled look in his eyes.

"Charlie?" Georgie said softly, daring to sit opposite him. "Charlie what's wrong?" He looked up at her with the same sadness he'd had back in the days when they'd been together. "Talk to me, please" she urged "Or I'll have to speak to someone. We can't let this happen again" he held up a hand to stop her "I'm okay Lane. It's nothing like that... I'm just sorry that's all. I never said sorry to you"

She gave him a sympathetic smile "You never need to apologise to me Charlie, you know that. We fucked up together. You lost your wife and I lost my mate and reputation but it was both of our faults. We were in it together and we still are. As mates. I'm always here for you. We have to own our mistakes and put them right where we can"

He thought on her words, she was right. He could do his absolute best to make everything right again. And that started with Amy.

He shuffled round the barracks like a bear with a sore head until he decided it was best he took himself home before the brig got himself involved and accused him of all sorts and noticed that he wasn't in a good headspace.

He loitered in the hallway for a moment until he heard the theme of one of her shit soaps and decided it was worth knocking to explain.

She opened the door and look disappointed already but she let him in without really saying a word and sat back down on the sofa staring at Eastenders whilst he remembered how much he used to enjoy looking at her side profile as she watched telly because it would her up and they'd play fight which would end in the most explosive love making he had ever experienced.

"You can sit down you know" she pointed to the armchair and he did just that. "I'm going to end it Molly tonight. Wether you still want to give me that second chance or not I don't know, but regardless I'm going to do the right thing and end it. I don't love her... I love you"

She looked at him like he just spewed the biggest load of bull and he didn't blame her. He'd done nothing to prove himself yet again.

"You've got some time off?" He asked hoping to get her talking "Yeah we were on an intense mission. Bones has given us all a few days rest before I start my training position"

He smiled to himself, proud of how brilliant she was. "So no more Charles James leg injuries for you then"

he let out a sweet little laugh that had a sadness to it "I'll always look after Charles James and them bleedin' leg injuries" he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms "Can you look after me now? I'm in a mess Molly. I've created it myself but never the less I'm in a mess" she pulled her head back to look him in the eye and hated the way the glistened with emotion he was too proud to express. "Just do the right thing for once"

She ran her fingers through his now much shorter hair, it was his standard tour length and the thought of him leaving made her feel sick. "You sure you're ready? You still favour the good leg"

He smiled at her concern "It's a habit now I'm afraid. But yes I'm ready, I just wish I hadn't been so stupid and that you were coming with me... but I transferred you because I knew we'd be together. Eventually. In my heart I've always known you'd come back to me"

She shifted herself awkwardly out of his embrace "Then do the right thing Charles and then we can talk. But you've let me down again. This is the last chance I'm ever gonna give you"

He found the courage he needed to break Amy's heart. It wasn't going to pretty, he knew that much but it couldn't wait any longer. He made a vow to himself that this would be the last time he'd would ever hurt someone who loved him. He wanted to be the man Molly fell in love again. A gent and a man of integrity. He kissed Molly hard before exiting to do his dirty deed.

He took a deep breath as he pulled the keys from his pocket only for her to swing the door open in front of him.

"Oh Charles I've been waiting for you" she flung her arms around him excitedly, squealing with delight.

"I promise I wasn't snooping... but I found this. And frankly I'd be crazy to say no. I really thought we were on the rocks for awhile there but this shows me how committed you are to us. I'd love to marry you"

She held up her left hand with Molly's engagement ring sitting firmly on her finger and he thought he might possibly have a fucking stroke.

He stood dumbfounded for a moment "Amy... no. You've got it wrong" She shushed him "I know I was a bit hasty by putting it on but I got so excited. It's so beautiful. Is it an antique? I can take it off and you can carry out your planned proposal if you like?"

His head was spinning. How the fuck had this happened? He'd hidden that ring so well that he barely remembered where he'd put it himself.

She carried on talking but all his head could do was try to work out the words he needed to say.

He composed himself as she left the room "I'm just taking one of Molly's parcels over. It says urgent... are you listening?" He shook his head "No we need to talk"

He followed her out to be met with the sight of her left hand being thrusted into Molly's face. The look of utter confusion on her face was earth shattering.

"Congrats" Molly smiled weakly.

Amy smiled smugly to herself. "Enjoy your celebrations" she said, slamming the door in disgust.

He realised in that moment that Amy knew exactly what she was doing. "That's my ex wife's ring. You've got it wrong. That's Molly's ring"

She glared at him "Amy I'm sorry but I can't do this. It's not fair to you, I don't love you the way I should and for that I'm sorry. You are an amazing and beautiful woman and you don't deserve my baggage"

She said nothing. Absolutely nothing.

-OG-

 **Song lyrics are "Too much to ask" by Niall Horan. It can be found on YouTube if you fancy listening to the song I had them dancing to in my head x**


	6. Chapter 6

**I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all of your well wishes regarding my fiancée.**

 **He will be in for awhile yet by the looks of things but he's on the mend.**

 **This chapter is sponsored by caffeine, insomnia and never ending night feeds lol.**

 **It's an angsty one which makes me nervous to post it but you guys trust me don't you? :) x**

-OG-

"Come on, spill the beans" Brains said with a certain air of half sympathy, half not this shit again as he pushed a glass of wine towards her.

"What?" She snapped "Moll you've just come back from a mission with SF. You should be bouncing off the walls instead you've got a face like a slapped arse"

She took a massive swig and enjoyed the cool sensation as she felt it slide down her throat. "It just gets a bit much sometimes, being so close to him ... and 'er. I don't know wether I wanna buy her a drink and thank her for doing me a favour in the long run or punch her perfect eyebrows off her perfect face"

Brains couldn't help but laugh at the matter of fact-ness that was Molly Dawes. "If it helps she is sorry. She regrets it all, maybe you'd find a bit of peace if you spoke to her, clear the air maybe? No ones saying you have to be mates... but you could try?"

She rolled her eyes at him "know it all toss pot ain't ya" she smiled "Ill be training the new recruits with her so not gonna have much of a choice but to speak to the little cow am I?"

He noted the change in her as Charles made his entrance "Has he been alright? He seems a bit... I dunno, a bit something... I can't put my finger on"

"I know the brigs on his back, we're being deployed and he's doesn't seem sure bossman is up to the job. Something to do with his counselling but you didn't hear that from me alright? And he can't run for shit with that leg either. Taliban done a number on it I tell ya. And the terrain where we're headed isn't exactly gonna be helpful to someone with a bad leg. So he's fucked and if he's fucked, were fucked"

Her stomach did anxious somersaults at the thought of him being deployed. She'd been avoiding him since the ball, going to massive lengths to stop him from even seeing her and now here he was...By himself, obviously looking for her.

"Boss did you want a drink?" Brains shouted across to him. "Ah fuck" he cried as Molly kicked him hard under the table "Go on then Brains, as your offering. Looks like my company has stood me up so I'll join you in one before I hit the road"

Charles and Molly glared at each other "Right then... I'll get that drink" he said uncomfortably watching their exchange "You've been avoiding me?" His tone was revealing. He was hurting. "No shit, hope you ain't wondering why" he bit his lip "I'm sorry, I know I've let you down again and I know how lucky I am that you even considered giving me another chance. All I can say is sorry and ask for you to actually fucking listen to me" He attempted to take her hand under the table before she snatched it away "I've got nothing to say. There's nothing I want from you. Just fuck off"

She grabbed her coat and was gone in a flash.

"Sorry Sir, I'd better go after her" Brains said awkwardly, moving just as quickly as she did after thrusting his pint at him.

He sat with his head in his hands and wanted nothing more than to toss the pint at the wall. What a fucking mess he'd made once again.

-OG-

Georgie hovered awkwardly outside the room she would now share with Molly. This was the price they were paying for being the best medics on offer.

She gave Molly a shy smile and offered her the tea she'd picked up for her along the way. It was no surprise when she declined.

"Look Moll. I'm sorry, I'll never stop being sorry and I'd hate me too if the shoe was on the other foot"

"Look let's just agree to keep it civil for the sake of the recruits. I don't want another lot of soldiers discussing my private life and laughing at my mate shagging my husband. Just let me be Georgie, please"

Molly's eyes filled with tears, weakness was the last thing she wanted to show her. She'd worked too hard to move on from the hurt they had caused her.

"I'm not sure what's happened but you're double fucking grumpy and I just want to help.. I hate seeing you like this"

Molly used her sleeve to mop away the flow of tears "I can't let either of you in" she wept "loved you both so much and look where it got me"

Georgie sat opposite her "You and Charlie were getting on, what's happened that changed that? That's what's this is about isn't it?"

Molly nodded but that's all she would give her. "I just want to get Christmas out the way and go for SF selection training and never look back"

Georgie gave her a sympathetic smile. She couldn't imagine how difficult it had been for Molly since they'd all been thrown together again.

Charles hovered in the door way, guilty that she was once again crying. Georgie made a gesture that he should piss off and so he did. Relying on the fact that she knew best at that moment and that he'd done enough damage.

Amy had made life extremely difficult since he'd ended things. She'd threatened his career and worst of all Molly's career but he hoped in time she would settle down.

He spun Molly's tiny rings around between his fingers before placing them safely back in his top pocket, confident that once the shock and upset of seeing her ring on another woman's finger had worn off that she would allow him to explain that he was a spineless idiot who had no concept of urgency when it came to getting shit done these days. He'd allowed himself to think he had plenty of time when the reality was, the days and weeks had dragged without her and he was dreading hurting someone else but it was done now and he was going to prove himself to her no matter what it took.

He was still taking it out on 2 section but they were in tip top shape and ready to go so every cloud and all that. He couldn't really say the same for himself as the doctor had refused to agree to him weaning himself off the depression medication he'd been taking for bloody years now but he felt ready.

All being well he would have Molly back on side before he left and they could work on things and do endless talking via email and Skype whilst he was away and hash out everything she needed to say and come home to her at long last.

-OG-

She returned home to the biggest bunch of flowers she'd ever seen. If she was honest she'd never seen the point in flowers. Why spend all that money for them just to die? She pulled open the envelope ready lob the flowers at his front door. How dare he propose to another woman with her ring then send her flowers?

 _"Wishing you all the luck in the world for selection. If anyone can - it's you Dawes. Just remember to keep that gob in check. Drinks on you when you make the cut - Bones_ "

-OG-

Molly

I can feel his eyes on me. Great bleedin' timing as usual. His eyes linger on the bloody great bouquet of wasted of money I struggle to hold in my arms because frankly, it's nearly as big as me. Definitely ain't one of them cheap petrol station jobs that Charles occasionally brought me home when he'd worked late or forgotten somethin' important or shagged me mate.

"Can we talk?" He says quietly but I've already told him to fuck right off before he'd even got the words out. I want to punch him and kiss him all at the same time but I feel like i've given him one too many chances to fuck up. He blew them all and it leaves me wondering how come he couldn't bring himself to hurt her the way he can so easily hurt me?

I was a disposable wife that he tossed away for the sake of a perfect set of veneers and a boob job and it seems I don't mean that much more to him now.

I turn to watch him because I can hear his keys shaking in his hands as he can barely lock the door behind him. He's favouring the good leg and generally just looks a bit shit so of course I'm worried about him. But this time I'm going to do absolutely sod all about.

He drops his bag at his feet and it obvious he's pissing off home to Bath for Christmas and I can't help but feel a little bit home sick for the life we had there. And Sam. My sweet Sam who I adore so much and I know he adores me too. He was like a mini best mate and I lost him too.

"Wait there a minute" I demand even though I'm fuming, I race inside to retrieve Sam's Christmas present that I'd forgotten to post the day before. "For Sam" I say awkwardly because I really don't want to speak to him "Saves me to job of posting it"

He takes it gratefully and theres a soppy, hopeful look in his eye "I won't be seeing him, he's in Switzerland with Rebecca but I'll leave it at mums for him. You could always come with me. You're still family, you'll always be family"

I want to kick myself because I'm half tempted and it would be lovely to see his mum and dad and not spend Christmas either here on me Todd or at home in the mad house but I won't give in. I can't.

"Stop putting all your weight on the good leg. The bad one won't ever get stronger otherwise" he looks down at the offending leg "Just a habit, it's fine" I know he's lying and he knows I know he's lying "If I don't get to see you before I leave, then take care of yourself. And good luck with the selection - be brilliant" my heart breaks a little bit at the thought of him leaving "yeah you take care too. No heroics. And know your limits" he nods at me and neither of us seem to be able to make the move that will separate us for god knows how long.

"Take care Charles" I break the spell between us and I immediately want to cry as I watch him go. I'm always watching him go.

-OG-

Christmas is as grim as she predicted with the kids bouncing off the walls and Dave pissed as a newt and her general feeling of depression like she'd lost him all over setting the tone to make it all just a little bit shit.

"Right you, out with it! What's your problem?"

Molly shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes like a petulant child. Belinda wasn't the person she could talk about this with. Actually there was no one she could talk about it with.

"You do know Mol that sometimes the only way to move on in life is to either build a bridge and get the hell over it, forget about him or forgive and forget and live happily ever after. You need to do one or the other coz this ain't doing you or me any favours"

Belinda was startled at the tears that ran down her cheeks "Oh Molly. I didn't mean to make ya cry..." she pulled her into her arms "tell me what's been going on?"

Molly poured herself a massive glass of wine which she took an equally massive swig of before she unloaded every single detail about the past few months and how she'd been hopeful they'd get back together and how he'd let her down. Again.

"Wow. Wasn't expecting that..." Belinda poured herself a much needed glass of wine before scratching her head and trying put the words together properly in her head so she didn't further upset her.

"You're hurtin' without him? And I know I said I'd never forgive him but I want you to be happy and if he's changed or recovered or whatever it is and you think you can trust him then stop wasting time Mol. Just love and be loved. Christ don't end up like me will ya? In a loveless marriage with a fat drunk who can't remember the last time he changed his pants... you've always been better than that. Go get him girl... life is too short"

Molly smiled back at Belinda, happy she'd heard what she wanted to hear but confused as to how to let all the hurt go again.

-OG-

Calls for a medic on the parade ground brought them both back to reality. "Oh my god Charlie" Georgie said, grabbing the med Bergen.

Molly moved like a bat out of hell and had cleared the corridor and was half way down the stairs before Georgie could even think of catching up with her.

Molly made it as the lads pulled Ruby to his feet "I'm fine" he winced, leaning on both Brains and Fingers for support. Molly breathed a sigh of relief at him standing tall over Ruby "Get him to the med room will ya lads?"

"Fuck I'm unfit" Georgie panted "Do you want a hand?" Molly nodded "Probably for the best" she didn't want to deal with this right now. Seeing him ignited her insides, when she thought it was him that was hurt she crumbled. She didn't want to stay angry but she had too. He needed to learn.

"We're going on tour tomorrow and now I'm short a bloody medic" he screamed into his phone. "You need to calm down before you burst something... Sir" he gave her an apologetic look and a small wave before marching off stressed out of his heard wondering where the fuck he'd get a new medic the day before tour started.

Her heart fluttered. This could only mean one thing. She'd be back with 2 section.

-OG-

She pulled what now seemed to be a too short black dress down a bit as she approached the lads who were already far too pissed considering they'll were on a flight out of Brize tomorrow and he would absolutely kill them if he was here to see it.

"Here she isssss... my favourite medic in the history of the world ever" Brains shouted as they cheered her. He slipped his arm around her shoulders before planting a kiss on her cheek "Easy there Brains. Do try and remember the boundaries" his voice came from behind them and she turned to face a look of utter jealousy and contempt on his face.

"Sorry sir" Brains rolled his eyes and gave a quick shake of his fist under the table so that only Molly saw which made her giggle which further pissed Charles off because he could only imagine what they said about him behind his back.

Georgie had obviously had the same idea as her and turned up in her best little black dress with her fantastic tits pushed up to the heavens and her legs for days bronzed to perfection which left Molly feeling like her little legs were less than adequate "And here's our other favourite medic" Fingers shouted "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much of a fuck up is it that the Captain and the medic who've already shagged are going on tour again"

The table fell silent "Fuck sake Maisie" Georgie spat, turning to Molly "It's last minute and I'm the only one available at such short notice"

Molly chose to ignore the situation. Pretend it wasn't even happening while she inwardly prayed for the ground to swallow her up or for someone to spike her drink with something that would knock her the fuck out for a couple of days so she could sleep through them leaving together. She bided her time until it was forgotten about and it wouldn't look like she had the complete arse over it and that she hadn't spent the last hour ignoring every attempt he'd made to speak to her.

This time however it hadn't been his fault and he was as unhappy about it as she was. It compromised his authority with his section and made him some what of a laughing stock and he was slowly coming to the conclusion he was never going to be allowed to forget his past indiscretions.

She was relieved at the arrival of Bones who seemed to have become something of a saviour to her in moments when she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. With a flick of his head she was up out of her seat and across the pub before Charles even had the chance to register his arrival.

"Why do you keep torturing yourself Dawes?" He said with the same dry sarcasm she really liked about him. "Put that useless lot out your head and focus on the selection. You're a better soldier than any of that lot and that includes Lane and your sod of an ex husband. It's time to move on now.. time to be better"

Molly knew he was right and he had put in a lot of effort to prepare her what was to come. He was certain she would make special forces with his help and it wasn't just because he wanted to shag her, he believed in her.

"Shall we get out of here?" Charles caught the look in her eye as she looked up at him and led him from the pub the hand and was fully aware that all eyes were on his as usual whenever Molly made any kind of bold move.

The realisation that he'd fucked up one too many times to ever win her back hit him like a tonne of bricks - this time felt final.

Georgie gave him a sympathetic smile. Whilst she had long got over Bones dropping her, she knew it cut much deeper than that for Charles to see them together.

-OG-

Charles hovered with a raised hand at Molly's door.

The thought of leaving tomorrow and not saying bye, it didn't feel right.

He was mortified at the thought of Bones answering the door but he wouldn't leave it as it was.

She jumped at the sound and pulled her dressing gown tightly around her. This night couldn't possibly get any worse. She cringed at her failed attempt to sleep with Bones, her heart just wasn't in it and he was gracious enough to accept that.

She pulled open the door "Charlie?"

His eye lit up with jealousy "I just wanted to say goodbye again. But I can see you're busy so I'll let you crack on"

She did nothing to correct him "You take care yeah? Try and remember you can do a tour without shagging the medic" he flinched at her words "I'll do that. Good luck sleeping your way into special forces by the way"

They glared at each other "You lost all rights to jealousy when you put my ring on another woman's finger" he hit the door beside her in frustration "That's not what happened, you haven't let me explain.." she cackled the sarcastic laugh that he despised "Save it for some mug who cares. I'm sorry I ever let you back into my life again. Should have learnt from the first mistake"

He bit his lip, choosing to walk away before things got even nastier.

"Are we going to leave things like this?" His dark eyes bore into her.

"Looks like it don't it?" She spat.

"Do you really regret me?" He asked wounded and she wanted nothing more than to beg him not to go, to tell him she loved him more than anything. But a hurt Molly was spiteful and stubborn Molly.

"I wish I'd never met you" she regretted those words instantly.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done that's hurt you. Take Care Molly"


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is just a short, filler chapter for what's coming next. I can't say when the next chapter will come but I've got everything planned and outlined and half written.**

 **Thank you all again for your reviews, to be honest they are the only thing keeping me going with this so please keep them coming.**

 **S x**

-OG-

Charles closed the screen after composing yet another email he wouldn't send to Molly. He wanted to congratulate her on her success with SF and apologise for what he'd said the last time they saw each other. He also wanted to know if she truly regretted him. It had hurt him every day since.

He was tired and weary and looking forward to wrapping this tour up. It had been a tough reintroduction to deployment and if he was 100% honest with himself, he didn't feel like it was for him anymore.

"You alright boss?" Kingy asked. Again. As Charles sat with his head in his hands "Fine sergeant. Tired, weary just like everyone else but we're on the home stretch now. We can do this"

Kingy had confessed his worries to Lane who in turn had caused him more worry by doing her usual of not following orders and getting involved where she wasn't needed and causing Charles a load more headache.

"I'm restricting you to camp Lane. For your sake as well as mine" Georgie rolled her eyes "Charlie, please..."

"It's Sir whilst we are on tour and don't argue with me. Do try to remember and respect the fact that I'm your superior and you will follow my orders. For fuck sake Lane you've become a liability"

He was of course referring to her involvement with a local woman that had seen them ambushed by a gang of drug dealers. "Drug dealers of all fucking problems to have" he shouted, pulling at the hair on top of his head so hard she thought he might scalp himself. His hand permanently lived at the back of his exasperated head, massaging his knotted neck with a face like a stressed, smacked arse.

"I'm sorry boss. Try and calm down, you're overly stressed. Are you talking to Molly yet... maybe that would help"

"That's completely fucking irrelevant Lane and you know it"

Georgie decided to put her big girls pants on and take the bollocking before being dismissed and firing off a text to Molly.

" _He's cracking up here. Put him out of his misery Molly. He needs you_ "

Georgie appreciated she was a bit of a shit and that her going off piste was doing his head in but there was definitely more to it and had been since he stepped foot on the tarmac at Brize. The fire in his belly had gone, his heart wasn't in it.

Brains slotted himself into the narrow bench opposite Charles. He was struggling, it was easy for anyone who knew him to see. "Boss?"

Charles lifted his head from the coffee he'd let go cold 4 times before replacing it only to let it get cold again. "What is it Brains? You alright?"

"I'm good sir. Just wanted to check you were too. I know you're my Captain but we go way back, I hope that if you needed someone to talk too... then you'd feel you could talk to me. Even if it's about Molly. I'm here for ya boss is all I'm trying to say"

Charles returned his head into his hands "Thank you Brains. I'm good though. If you do speak to Molly, pass on my congratulations for making SF. She'll be brilliant" Brains smiled back at him and wondered how two people could be so stubborn.

-OG-

Molly spun the mobile between her fingers, dismissing the text as she and Bones downed the last of their celebratory drink. "You know when I said drinks were on you, I was actually joking. And that thing in your hand, does exactly what it says on the tin - it's mobile, you can put it down you know"

"I can pay my way. Always have, always will. And what's it to you? I'm waiting for a phone call"

Bones admired that about Molly. She had no desire to be kept or fussed after. She was a different kettle of fish to Lane who he'd found to be high maintenance. Yes she was beautiful but he liked the simple life. Molly seemed to be uncomplicated, that was until the subject of her ex-husband was brought up which was when she recoiled into herself as some kind of protection or coping mechanism. She was still hurting and pining after all this time, it was obvious to see.

"So have you heard from him?" He flicked his head towards her phone where a smiling picture of the two of them in happy times stared back at him from her phones screensaver. She'd never got round to changing it.

"No. Why would I?" She snapped. "Unfinished business there, doesn't take a genius to work that out. Not sure why though. He's a cock" she knew Charles' faults better than anyone but she was becoming a little bit sick of hearing about them "why you so bloody horrible to him? He hurt me not you.. he's a nice bloke to be honest, I've never met anyone who's had a bad word to say about him except you... give him a break" Bones laughed at her outburst "Alright calm down. He's just a bit of a knob, I know I give him a hard time but I don't actually dislike him really. Although I'm starting too because he's getting in the way of me and you..." she knocked back the rest of her cocktail and changed the subject before moving on to talk Spanner. He was going to do her head in if all he could do was slag off Charles. He didn't deserve it.

She'd slotted in effortlessly with the lads. Something he'd worried about because apart from when she'd joined them on their previous mission, having a woman as a permanent part of the section was new to all of them.

Bones continued the tradition of seeing Molly to her front door even though he was absolutely certain she could throat punch someone just as good as he could if she needed to.

"Well done soldier. I do have to warn you though, you'll be called from you pit at ungodly hours and without a minutes notice from now on. Always have a Bergen ready. Always have a uniform ready to go"

Her smile lit up her face, all the way up to her eyes and it made him wonder how he was going to keep things professional. He was falling in love with her and for the first time ever he sympathised with Charles and what he'd lost. Molly Dawes really was something special.

She saw the fire in his eyes, it was time for bed. Alone. She pulled up her emails praying there was something... anything... from Charles. Surely he was ready to talk by now.

He hadn't escaped her thoughts since he'd left and so many times she found her fingers hovering over his number or an unsent text message. She was missing him but she was too stubborn to be the one to make the first move. If he wanted her, he knew where she was.

-OG-

More days were passing but still nothing and she'd decided enough was enough, silly games didn't suit her. They had spent so long apart now she was afraid of being back together, afraid to give him her whole heart again but Belinda had been right, it was time to put herself out of her misery. For the first time since he'd left she felt happy because he was coming home. She was never one for grand gestures but Molly stood in the middle of her living room which she hoped would become his living room too and laughed at the balloons she'd packed in there ready for his return - any day now. Hearts and I love you's and welcome home - none of these things weren't very Molly but they'd make him laugh and that's what she wanted. She wanted him to come

home to her and she wanted him to be happy.

The knock on the door brought her back to reality as Bones bounded through not even waiting for her to ask him in. "Aw Dawes, you shouldn't have!" She rolled her eyes completely embarrassed "looks like a card shop in here. Never had you down as the soppy type" Molly cheeks flushed with redness and she wondered if he had a heart in there at all "Come on Clinton. We're off"

Fucking great she thought to herself as she stared at her wasted efforts. When would she get to see him now? How long would she be gone for? Her heart ached as she gazed at the wedding photo she'd never had the heart to get rid of. "Miss you" she mouthed as she gathered her things. "Really bleedin' miss you".

-OG-

"Please Sir. Let me come out on this one. Things have been particularly volatile and I know Ruby is back but having 2 medics out there is never gonna be a bad thing"

Charles rolled his eyes "It is when one can't follow orders. Camp walls Lane" he pointed sarcastically at the walls of the FOB "Stay within them unless I tell you otherwise. Are we clear?"

"Sir" she responded sarcastically as she watched her section move beyond the gates. She felt guilty for being left behind, for being left out of danger when she had brought them to the attention of the drug gang. She'd got in over her head with Maria when she's come looking for help. Tried to get her away from her situation but they been watching every move and now she was a target.

Charles had chosen not to share that information with her, he feared she would see it as a challenge to beat them when this situation needed handling carefully. They were not here in some South American shit hole of a FOB to become target practice for druggies. He didn't need that kind of trouble from the Brigadier who was still breathing down his neck via satellite phone and threatening to decend on them the minute something went wrong.

There was only days left now, she'd stay where she was and once they were back she'd piss of back to her section and he would get on his knees to Molly if that's what it took.

These patrols had been running like clockwork with Brains leading. He'd impressed him on this tour and Charles was ready to write him up for promotion.

"Boss... we've got trouble"

-OG-

 **Just a reminder that this is typed on an iPhone so please forgive any autocorrect/mistakes x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you all so much for the love on the previous chapter, it really does mean a lot and has made me smile. Nervous to post this chapter, not sure why as you are all so lovely. Please do keep the reviews coming and thank you for reading - hope you enjoy x**

-OG-

Molly's eyes fell on Georgie. Of course she'd be the first fucker she'd lay eyes on.

Georgie watched Molly's eyes search for him. She searched every inch of the fob in seconds and the disappointment was written all over her face.

Disappointment turned to worry as she watched the penny drop in Molly's head.

"Where is he Georgie?" She said with urgency as her petite legs carried her as quickly as they could across to his cabin. She pulled the door open, closing her eyes praying when she opened them he'd be sitting there ready to bollock her for not knocking.

His vacant chair stared back at her "where the fuck is he?" She shouted with tears in her eyes.

"Molly I'm sorry" Georgie almost told her it was her fault but decided against a clump. Molly would never forgive her for this.

"Dawes, on me for briefing" Bones ordered.

"Did you know?" She screamed.

"Know what Dawes? And do keep your fucking voice down" He was stern and angry.

"Did you know I'd be stepping off a chopper to this? Have you known all along?" She cried.

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you. My intel came in too late to leave you at home and there was no way I was going to travel here with you snivelling like an idiot. Pull it together, this ain't 2 section now"

He followed her eyes as they fell on Fingers, his arm heavily strapped and in a sling. "Fingers!" She shouted "What the fucks happened?"

She ran despite the fact that Bones hadn't dismissed her "Haven't you heard?" She shook her head, taking in her battered friend "We got ambushed by some drug dealers. Backed us into a corner, Boss told us to jump"

She searched his face confused "Jump? Jump from where?"

"A fucking cliff Molly. We jumped off a cliff. Some of 'em are still missing. Some injured worse off than me..." he trailed off nervously.

"Charles? How bad is Charles?" Her voice broke.

"He's missing Moll. Him and Brains"

White hot pain seared her chest as she struggled to get her breath and keep her legs from buckling underneath her. Georgie caught her by the arm "Hey calm down. Bone's watching your every move Molly, keep it together"

The though of him being alone and injured somewhere caused bile to rise in her stomach. He was a strong swimmer but the leg.. the bleedin' leg, it would never survive a a fall or jump unscathed.

She regretted all the times she'd failed to write up or report him being in pain or the painkillers she'd slipped him off the books. Maybe he'd never have been allowed on another tour had they known, if she'd done her job properly.

She marched into the ops tent where her new team assembled "When are we heading out? Time is of the essence Boss, the med bergen is ready" Bones shot her a filthy look "Thank you Florence Nightingale but I'm in charge here. Sit down, you've had a shock" his words seemed to jumble in her ears and make no sense at all as her mind wondered to Charles and Brains. She needed to be out there.

"So not only is this a rescue mission, but a dangerous one. Those bastards will think nothing of taking a pop at us and it's likely they could be holding one or both primaries somewhere close to use as leverage. Spanner and I will be going out to make an initial assessment and I will plan from there. Dawes, you'll help Georgie deal with any walking wounded from the earlier fall for now and Peanut will be our eye in the sky, looking for signs of Captain James and Private Wiggerty. Unfortunately time isn't on our side and the nature of the terrain means we'll have no choice but to start our search at first light"

Molly's stomach flipped "With all due respect boss I'm not happy to leave them out there over night" Bones slammed his hands on the table "Now you listen to me Dawes, I'm in charge here you got that? Your emotions for that shit won't cloud how I do things, are we clear?"

"We could lose two lives if we wait. Speaking as a medic and not as a friend or ex wife here.. _sir"_ her emphasis on the word sir riled him "I'll have you on the first plane out of here if you don't shut your mouth Dawes. Get out of my sight"

She flew from the tent like a bat out of hell towards Fingers and the others. "Molly wait up" Georgie shouted "What's the plan?" Molly used the palms of her hands to stem the tears as she caught her breath.

"What the fuck was he thinking Georgie?"

"He wasn't" Fingers piped up "He was fucking fragged before we even got here. The guys been a liability. Absolutely fucking mental"

"That's enough Private" Kingy spat "You will not speak about your Captain in that manor, do you hear me? He had no choice. We had no choice, it was jump and risk it or die there and then, we were out numbered. We didn't stand a chance, they had all corners covered"

"This was your doing I take it? How come you're here without a scratch on you and he's lost out there somewhere" Molly shouted at Georgie gaining the attention of just about everyone in the FOB.

"Why the fuck can't you go on tour without getting someone in trouble? Why did it have to be him? And Brains? Fucking why?"

Georgie bowed her head, Molly was right. This was her doing. "If it means anything then I'm sorry. I lead with my heart instead of my head, you can understand that surely?"

Molly wanted to punch her "I learnt my lesson the hard way the first time round. You seem to keep repeating your mistakes"

The two women glared at each other. "Let me get you a tea, you're in shock" Georgie offered.

"I don't want a bloody tea. I want Charles. I just want Charles" she sobbed.

She realised that this was the beginning and the end of her career in Special Forces...she didn't care. This achievement meant nothing if she didn't have him to share it with. She allowed Georgie to hold her. A temporary cease fire within her because she needed a friend right now.

"I'm gonna tidy up his cabin. He hates mess, want it tidy for when he gets back" she whispered.

Georgie let her go, she understood that Molly needed to be busy and she needed to feel close to him.

Molly ran her finger along the photo frame next to his bed. Her own face plus the adoring gaze of Sam stared back at her.

That had been one of her favourite days. A simple trip to a sleepy seaside town with fish and chips and ice cream and each other. They'd strolled hand in hand whilst Sam kicked his ball and laughed at Charles weak attempt to try and kick with his recently healed leg. It had been one of his first outings since being so terribly injured. They had been so happy.

She rested her hand on his pillow, daring to lay her head down. The smell of his aftershave brought tears to her eyes. "Come back to me" she whispered.

-OG-

Bones threw himself down heavily in the seat opposite her "Talk to me Dawes. Do I need to put you on a plane home? Is this too much?"

"No sir" is all she could muster for him. "You're worrying me Dawes. Not planning anything stupid in that pretty little head of yours are you?" She almost flinched "Of course not. First light, were out there looking. You promise me yeah? I know you don't like him but we can't let that affect how we go about saving his life. There's Brains to think about too" She was trying her hardest to fight back tears.

"I'm offended you think I would allow the fact I think he's a twat cloud my professional judgement. I thought you knew me better than that" his eyes bore into her, he was hurt. She'd never seen this side of him before.

"And plus he's your twat. So that makes me want to save him that little bit more alright. Can't have you sad now can we. First light, be ready. And Dawes.. try get some rest. This won't be easy" she gave him a weak smile. His dislike of Charles was at the forefront of her mind. Would he treat this the same as any other rescue mission? Would he make sure they did everything they could to save them? She wasn't so sure.

-OG-

Two intense days had brought them nothing. Molly had become more and more emotional and erratic, choosing to keep to herself as the whispers about Charles' mental health and his reasons for jumping became a talking point. She felt responsible for it, that the way she had behaved before he left contributed.

Kingy had fought his corner fiercely and Molly appreciated that. But the arrival of the brigadier meant trouble, he had been constantly on Charles case since his returned to barracks. The last thing Charles' reputation needed was this.

She was however, grateful for the Brig's arrival keeping Bones distracted. Molly checked and double checked the med Bergen. Doubling up on pain meds and bandages. Bones would rip her a new one but she wouldn't let anything stop her from finding him. Her heart ached every time she thought of him.

"Mol?" Georgie whispered from outside the tent.

"Come in" she cried, finally giving into the tears she'd been fighting all day. Georgie threw her Bergen at her feet. "Looks like we're on the same page" she said and it took Molly a few minutes to catch up.

"Double pain meds, double bandages. Let's go get our lads" she pulled Molly to her feet "You don't have to risk your job like this Georgie. I can do this myself" Georgie shook her head "No fucking way. We're in this together"


	9. Chapter 9

**Once again thank you for the reviews and well wishes. They mean so much x**

 **I'm sorry this chapter is the rough round the edges version. There was a lot I wanted to do with it but I just don't seem to have it in me at the moment (my brain is absolutely fried) but I didn't want to leave you hanging. Hope it still makes sense and you enjoy x**

-OG-

If either of them said they weren't absolutely bricking it, they'd be award winning liars.

"We're absolutely fucked you realise that don't you?" Georgie reiterated for the 100th time "It all means nothing without him. You can go back, but I'm not leaving him out here to die. Or Brains, I just hope they're together" Molly snapped.

This was new ground for both of them. Both broke rules and ignored orders. It was probably why they'd been such great friends in the beginning. They both followed their hearts and were lead by 'the right thing' to do rather than army regulations, much to the annoyance of several commanding officers. Georgie knew this character trait would be the end of her army career eventually. She'd been lucky to keep her position by the skin of her teeth after her and Charles were exposed. But Molly had settled down, knuckled down and been promoted. Charles and Smurf being shot had damaged her in a way that meant she never wanted to live with guilt of that magnitude again. She had too much blood on her hands she felt. Her budding special forces career was all she had wanted and she'd worked hard for it. Now it was most certainly lost and dishonourably too.

But this was Charles' life on the line - The love of her life and Brains who was one of her best friends. If anyone was worth giving it up for, Charles would win every time. She cursed herself for allowing it to come to this before she realised.

The short amount of training she had under Bones made this feel a little easier as she guided Georgie through the thick jungle. "We need to head towards the river" Georgie whispered "Maria told me they have some kind of shack they use. They could be holding them there"

"Who the fuck is Maria?" Molly spat "And we don't even know they've got them. Where's the cliff?"

They stopped dead in their tracks, the noises around them seemed deafening in the fading light.

"We're so fired after this. Court martial and all sorts.. guarantee it" Georgie was thinking out loud now "yep" confirmed Molly "But like fuck was I leaving him out here all night. That leg, I bet it's that leg"

"You don't know that. He might just be completely out of it somewhere" Georgie tried her best to reassure her but she knew in her heart things didn't look good. The rest of 2 section had been found too quickly. Where had Charles and Brains disappeared too?

They wasted no time moving deeper and deeper into the Jungle. Time dragged but in just a few hours they had covered a considerable amount of ground.

"Bones is probably spitting feathers" Molly said, the magnitude of just what they had done hitting her.

Georgie raised her hand "Ssh. Did you hear that?"

The sound of someone wailing echoed through the trees around them causing them both to take cover and prepare to shoot.

"It's Charles" Molly climbed to her feet and ran in the direction of his cries.

"How can you be sure?"

"I've never managed to forget the sound of the man I love crying in agony. It's Charles!" Molly bolted.

"Fucking hold on Molly. Sound travels differently in the jungle"

They stopped to listen again, Molly's heart racing, the sound of his pain hurting her. "Georgie I need to get to him"

"This way. And be careful, if we heard him, they heard him" Molly followed Georgie willingly, following the sound of his cries until at last they found them.

"I can't help him" Brains panicked as Charles clung to a tree for dear life. My arm is fucked from the fall. So are me ribs. They beat fuck out of us"

"Molly cut him free. I'll support his weight" Georgie noted the panic in Molly's face "It's okay, he's gonna be okay"

He howled in agony as they worked methodology together to ease his pain. "Morphine is coming now boss. Deep breathes"

"Molly?" He panted "Charlie, You just stay calm darlin'. Stay with me"

Brains looked on feeling thoroughly useless "I couldn't help him Mol"

She left Georgie to tend to Charles momentarily whilst she checked on Brains "Listen to me muppet, calm down. I'm going to give you some pain relief for that arm alright"

She couldn't take her eyes off Charles. Spikes, fucking spikes of all things to floor him. She leaned over to squeeze his hand as Georgie worked to bandage his bleeding wounds. "Your gonna be alright, we're gonna get you our of here" she reassured.

"Brains, put your arm in this sling. It's only a cheap paper bit of shit but it will do til we get you back"

"I'm sorry Molly" his voice was pleading forgiveness "You've got nothing to be sorry for mate"

"He's patched up best I can. How we going to get him back with no stretcher? We can't carry him, it's too far and his leg is unstable. The trees and bushes will jar those spikes. He'll bleed out if we move him"

Molly held her head, wracking her stressed brain.

"Turn the comms on and see if you can get anything. We'll take the bollocking"

Georgie tried to no avail. "No luck"

What would Bones do? she thought to herself. Bones wouldn't have got himself into this mess, that's what Bones would have done.

"You two head back, fast as you can. I'll wait with him, keep him stable"

"You sure you wanna do that Mol?" Brains asked, always concerned for his friend. "He needs me Harry"

Brains nodded in agreement "Quick as we can. Sit tight" he squeezed her hand "And Molly, take care. Please"

She watched them run and was sure she'd never seen anybody move so fast in their life. Especially not weighed down like Georgie was.

Molly crouched down beside Charles "You do get yourself into some pickles mate" she attempted to joke as she checked the temperature of his clammy forehead.

"I'm burning up" He panted through the agony.

"That's normal with a fracture. Try and relax. Squeeze my hand"

She sat herself behind him, leaning him back, cradling him to make him as comfortable as possibly. Her Bergen supporting his impaled leg.

"That's it. Breath" she whispered, so soothingly he wondered if she was really there.

"How did you get here" he tilted his head back to look up at her, making her heart flutter.

"My boy is in trouble. Where else would I be?"

-OG-

Charles crumpled in silent agony as his captors searched for them causing Molly to hold her hand over his mouth, muffling his cries.

"Breath through it, that's it" she whispered. "I'm here"

He grabbed her arm deliriously"Molly?"

"Sssh, yeah it's me. I'm here, I'm gonna get you out. Stay with me" she wrapped her hand around his, cold and clammy and big. The hand she'd held through good times and now bad again. He was deteriorating fast and the risk of being found grew rapidly.

"We need to move Charles, I'm going to give you some more pain relief and then we've gotta go" she plunged the needle into his thigh, paining herself at his own agonised expression before his eyes rolled back as the morphine hit. "There we go, That's better ain't it?" He groaned something inaudible as she pulled him up onto his good leg "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Charlie" she pleaded as he cried out.

"Arm around my shoulder and lean on me okay? Remember like we did before? When you needed all them midnight bog breaks like an old fart. We have to move NOW. As quietly as you can Okay"

Her body nearly buckled under his weight "I can't Molly. I'm too heavy, I'll crush you" He panted, throwing his weight into the tree behind him "I wasn't ready, that's all. Let's go again"

He was right, she could barely hold his weight but if they stayed here they'd die. "So Miss special forces, what's the plan here" she wasn't sure if she detected a hint of sarcasm in his voice but decided in his current situation she'd let it slide. "We didn't come that far before we found you, well I don't think we did anyway. All looks the bleedin' same don't it? But it was relatively straight. I'm hoping we'll meet them half way at least"

He cried out again "Molly, Help me.. I need to stop, I can't do this" she helped him down to the ground, loosening his tourniquet "I'm going to lose it aren't I? I've really fucked it this time"

"Listen to me mate, you and this bleedin' leg might gonna be the death of me but you'll still have it while I'm in charge. You got it? Now I'm gonna give you a little rest and then we have to move Charles. Do you trust me?" He nodded his head as she set his lips with water and wiped over his clammy face.

"I'm sorry for everything Molly" his eyes, pupils almost black and red rimmed bore into her "Tell me when we make it out of her alright? For now all is forgiven, I'll go back to being a stubborn little cow when your better" she smiled.

"You think I'm going to die?" She shook her head no "You ain't dying on my watch mate. No deaths on my first job with special forces you 'ear me? I've already gone against the boss so you ain't snuffing it and making it all for nothing" humour had always been her way of dealing with anything that hurt her. He gave a weak smile "I've got so many regrets. They all involve you"

"Bleedin' charmin' ain't you" she laughed "You know what I mean" he was slipping in and out of consciousness, a side affect of his pain and probably a little too much morphine "You can't leave me. What would I do without you?" She cried. His eyes stayed closed but a smile lit up his face "Ditto"

She took his hand, they had wasted so much time it was heart breaking. She fought back those emotions. Being soft wouldn't get them it of here alive. She needed to be hard, tough love like Bones taught her.

"Right up you get. We need to move" he became surprisingly alert considering he was just fading in and out of consciousness. Adrenaline she thought.

Where the fuck was Georgie and Bones? They struggled further along the path she had mapped out for them, praying they'd be found soon. His legs buckled underneath him as he gave into unconsciousness.

She did all she could for now, there was no moving him. All she could do was make him as comfortable as possible and tend to him until someone found them. He groaned as he slipped in and out of consciousness "Molly?" His body shot forward, his hands grabbing at her face until he pulled her nose to nose "I'm here, we're having a rest" she mopped the sweat away from his feverish face. He was deteriorating rapidly, time was running out.

He fumbled in his top pocket but his shaking hands failed him "What you doing? You need to save your energy" she reached into his pocket to retrieve what he was looking for, pulling out her rings.

"Charles... what you worrying about these for?"

He sighed "I never proposed to Amy. You have to believe me and let me explain. She found them, presumed that I was going too, or maybe she knew better and did it on purpose. Either way, it succeeded in making you hate me and I don't blame you. I just needed you to know before anything happens.. I'm going to die here aren't I?"

He brought tears to her eyes "You ain't pissing off up there so you can and Elvis can take the piss out of me trying to find my way out this mess. Do you hear me? You ain't leaving me Charles" he brushed his numb across her cheek "Of all the places I've taken you.." she half giggled, half sobbed "This is the soddin' worst mate I can promise you that. Actually no, that bloody gallery in Rome. That was the worst. This is a close second though. It's pretty shit here" he managed to smile at the memory "Only you Molly Dawes" he squeezed her hand "Only me what?" She questioned, willing him to stay awake "Only you could make me laugh on my deathbed"

She cringed at the words "Told you already, you ain't dying today" she leaned forward to wipe away the sweat and dirt on his mottled face. His brown eyes flickered open "Still handsome, don't worry" she whispered before planting a gentle kiss on his lips "I love you Charles. Don't give up"

"I always wanted to come back you know. But you was with her and so I got with Smurf and I thought you'd moved on. So I tried too as well but I never stopped loving you Charles. Not a day went by..." her voice broke "Not a day went by that I didn't pine for you. Or cry for what we lost"

"I don't know why I'm telling you now. Always been a gobshite me ain't I" she felt the need to fill the silence. To get everything she'd ever wanted to tell him off of her chest, just in case.

"The point I'm trying to make is, even when I've been really nasty and I know I have been recently, My heart has always been yours and it will be until it stops beating"

"Ditto" he managed to pull himself from the haze that clouded him "I never loved Georgie. But I think you know that in your heart. I never shared any good times with her, I don't have fond memories. Just a hole where life went to shit as you'd say"

She lay her head on his chest, willing him to stay alive. "Bones is going to nail you to the wall, I hope you know that" he chuckled before wincing in agony. "Do you really think I care about anything other than you right now? I'd lose it all, I probably have actually but for you I'd lose it all"

"Is this really how it's going to end?" He cried "It's not the end Charles. We're gonna be alright. We're gonna get out of here, we're gonna get you sorted and then we're gonna go to that little church that you love, because you're a weirdo and you like scary churches and we're gonna get married again and I'm never gonna leave your side"

He smiled despite being in agony "You proposing to me Dawes?" She traced her finger across the frown lines on his forehead before dropping a kiss onto his lips "might be"

She watched his blood trickling away from him as she batted off insects and other small predators. He was a sitting duck.

"Come on Bones" she whispered as she squeezed his hand "How's it looking?" He asked wearily "It's okay, it's looking okay" she lied.

"Why don't I believe you?" He held her gaze "How does it feel?" She asked.

"As long as I don't move, the morphine is keeping me going"

In all her years as a medic this had been the most horrific injury she had seen. She'd seen him hurt before, seen him cry in agony and heard him scream in pain but she would never be able to get the sound of these cries to leave her head.

"You know, as a Captain I really should be chewing you out for this" she smirked at him "For what exactly?"

"For going off piste, disobeying orders. But as, whatever it is that I am to you... I'm really fucking glad your here"

She stroked his forehead "I'm gonna be in so much trouble" she said fearfully "I'll do my best, but yes you will be in serious trouble. I can't thank you enough though.. for being here. For putting everything on the line for me"

In the face of death they'd settled their differences and they'd face whatever came next and they'd be fine, because they were always fine in the end. As long as they were together.

-OG-

 **Please forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes that I probably can't entirely blame the iPhone for this time :) x**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all for the reviews and letting me know you're enjoying my insomnia fuelled writing. I'm thankful it's not going to waste X**

-OG-

"So not only did you both defy orders, put yourselves in danger and completely fuck up the plan of action but you left her behind" Bones screamed so loudly she thought the blood vessel that was popping out at the side of his forehead might burst. That would be some mess to clean up. She suppressed the urge to smile at the thought, aware that in such dire circumstances smiling was not what she should be doing.

"I'm sorry _sir..._ but at least we know he's alive and we can rescue them quicker" he was shouting so loud now that her ears were shutting off. It had been hours since she'd left them. Brains was doing well but her mind kept wandering back to the two left behind. People that meant so much to her.

"We're wasting time, we need to move. Now" she protested "You ain't moving anywhere sweetheart except to the back of the line at the job centre"

"You can have me dishonourably discharged or whatever the fuck you like after we've found them. He's bleeding out, and they are alone. I can't stress how quickly we need to move Bones. He's going to die out there"

He nodded his head "This ain't over Lane. Kit up. Against my better judgement I'll need you to come along, as my own twat of a medic is awol"

-OG-

Charles

There's blood, sweat, agony, crying which I've now come to realise is my own. And there's her. My love. The unfailing love of my life, who has never let me down in my times of need. Molly.

I'm letting her down again. Trapping her in this hellish game of hide and seek with dangerous men who want to kill me. I beg her to go, I need her to be safe but she won't. She lies here next to me, every few minutes placing her hand on my chest to make sure I'm still alive until she just decides to leave it there. It's the only warmth there is, considering the climate is so hot here. That can't be a good thing for me. I once told her I wanted her to be the last thing I see and it appears I will get my wish. This is karma for being a bastard. Lady Luck is dangling her in front of me, ready to love me once again and it's all going to be taken away. I'm going to die out here.

-OG-

They'd spent a whole night in this hell. He'd deteriorated so badly they couldn't move any further. It was a case of who would find them first. He woke with a start "Molly?" He called, his hands fumbling in the space around him looking for her.

"I'm here.. I'm back. I went to find water" she'd been unsuccessful. She tipped the rest of what they had sparingly into his mouth. "A little bit for later. They'll be here soon" she reassured him but she wasn't entirely sure where 'here' was. They'd taken cover in a cave but it seemed an obvious place for those who knew the terrain better than they did to look. She was surprisingly alert considering she hadn't slept and was becoming dehydrated. She had laid in the crook of his arm for some time whilst he slept, watching the rise and fall of his chest become increasingly more laboured. Infection was taking hold of him now, time was running out.

She tightened his blast bandages after noticing the pool of blood beneath him growing, causing him to cry out "Sorry Charlie. I'm so sorry" she rest her hand in his red hot cheek "I'm sorry I've been to stubborn to tell you how much I love you. But when we get out of here, I'm never letting you out my sight again. We're gonna be happy me and you do you know that? So happy like we were. I can't lose you Charles, stay with me"

The click of the gun behind her head sent shivers through her spine. She wasn't sure what they were saying or even what language they were speaking but she understood they wanted her on her feet.

She rose slowly with her hands in the air before they forced her to drop her rifle that was slung over her shoulder. She was unarmed and Charles was unconscious.

"Please don't hurt us. I'm just here to rescue him"

The dirty, frightening face staring back at her screamed something so loudly it made her jump "Please don't hurt us. He's dying, please just let us go" She inched as slowly as she could towards the only exit she had. He'd shoot her if she tried to run or he'd shoot Charles. If one of them was going to be shot then she'd rather it was her.

"Listen he's no good to you now, he's dying. He's got a few hours left. There's more coming for us"

His gun inched closer to her face, his body closer to hers. He pulled at her trousers "off" he demanded. She looked back at him confused "OFF" he shouted again.

-OG-

"I swear to you, this is exactly where I left them. Look there's blood is everywhere" Georgie confirmed.

Bones was treating her terribly considering she was here helping "Well we've established they aren't here so your very few uses just became even fewer until we find then. So keep your gob shut and follow orders"

"Sir" She was almost crying now. Where were they?

She was working through the hours since he'd been injured in her head. They didn't have long, If anytime at all before infection set deep and moved into his blood. She'd wondered if Molly's feeling for him would hinder her being able to care for him, wether she could keep it together long enough for her to get back and take over. They belonged together and the idea they'd spent so long apart and she'd played such a big part in that caused her chest to tighten. If he died now, how would she live with herself?

-OG-

"Molly?" Charles woke with a start but she wasn't there. He dragged himself backwards towards the rocks that were sheltering them. panicked by terror at the entrance of the cave that housed them.

"Please" She was pleading for their lives. He reached for the pistol still strapped to him. If he could just get up and into a good position, he'd blow his brains out. His weak arms were failing the further he tried to drag himself. As quietly as possible.

"I said OFF" he was shouting, manhandling her. Charles needed him to drop the gun, he couldn't risk shooting only for his gun to go off and injure Molly. Likely killing her at short range.

She spotted him as he moved across the wall unsteadily, dragging his injured leg painfully "Oi" Charles called. The gunman turned around, raising Molly's rifle in the process but he was too late. Charles had fired and hit his target.

Charles knew him as Miguel when they'd held him and Brains and knew he was the furthest down the pecking order of all the group. "Molly, we have to move. Our position has been compromised"

She was rooted to the spot. The second time she'd seen someone shot at such close range. "Come on Molly. I need you to help me"

She moved back into the cave to grab the med Bergen. Disarming Miguel's gun in the process. She was using her whole weight to support him, he was barely able to keep himself upright.

"On the count of 3 Charles. Grit ya teeth"

-OG-

Bones stopped dead "Silence" he commanded as he listened to the echoes of Charles' shot around him.

"Wherever that came from, wasn't far but if it was one of our own, they've been comprised so eyes on everyone"

It took just minutes for them to stumble upon the shack Brains had described to them.

"We're going the wrong way" Lane whispered. She was getting on his last nerve now "If you aren't careful Lane, I'm going to accidentally on purpose lose you along the way"

"Do not engage in enemy fire unless unless it's it's absolutely crucial" the Brig commanded over comms "Oh fuck off" Bones shouted. This was his rescue mission, he would do it his way.

"I'll tickle them instead shall I?" He spat sarcastically down the line. Georgie shook her head but took some comfort in the fact it wasn't just her he was rude too.

"We will find them won't we?"

He almost felt sorry for her "Yes. But I doubt they'll be alive. And all because little miss fix it can't follow orders"

-OG-

Fatigue, dehydration and shock were doing their best to disarm Molly but she kept pushing on. She had too. He fell to his feet, crying out in agony "Just go, leave me here Molly. I need you to go"

"I'm not going anywhere without you. So we keep moving or we wait here together. For whoever finds us, whatever the outcome of this. We'll be together"

He watched her tend to the leg he was surely going to lose "Don't waste you energy Dawsey. It's too late" she grabbed hold of his face "Now you listen to me, you're the bleedin' Captain here, you ain't giving up on me. It's your job to get us out of this. One last push Charles, be my Captain"

"Lay with me?" He said gently, attempting to cup her face but he was too weak now. She slipped into the crook of his arm "Molly.."

"Ssh. Save your energy, we'll have plenty of time for taking whilst I do your nut in about cushions and resting while that leg heals. Bet that place looks like shithole without my feminine touch" she forced a giggle in an attempt to comfort him.

He wanted to slip into the sleep that was pulling at his eyes, his whole body was heavy and shutting down. "I can't do it Molly. I can't move now, just go. Save yourself and if I'm still alive..." his voice broke "I'm sorry for everything"

She was crying now "You're giving up, you can't fucking give up. You can't leave me here, I don't wanna go without you" she sobbed. She tried to hold on to him but he was slipping further away "I love you. Please don't leave me"

She buried her face into his neck "I love you" she screamed. His hand came to rest on the back of her head, he took in the smell of her "I love you more than anything" he whispered.

His hand fell limply causing her to cry out. Loud, body shaking sobs of fear and grief and love.

"Can you hear that?" Georgie said but Bones and the rest of them had already begun moving in to direction of her cries. They'd been moving for what felt like days and nothing. Finally Georgie felt a flicker of hope.

"Speed up Lane" Bones commanded, the sound came from further than anticipated but it meant that Molly was alive at least. She was his primary focus. All he could see.

-OG-

Molly curled her body protectively around his. She wrapped herself around him, no one else would get to hurt him. They'd have to go through her first.

Everything seemed so calm and still as she watched the life trickling out of him. He didn't come too at all now. It was just a matter of time.

Where did that leave her? She wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and wait for death if that was what was on the cards for him. She certainly wouldn't be leaving here without him.

She surrendered to the wave of fatigue that hit her. She could do no more but wait. Wait to die with him or wait for them to be found.

-OG-

"There's a pulse. It's weak but it's there. We need a Mert to get him out of here now" Georgie screamed.

"The trees are too dense here,we need to move"

Molly watched in a daze as Georgie worked on him "Stay with me Boss" they moved him onto a stretcher and through the trees "Molly, sweetheart. We need to move. I need you on your feet darlin' one last push okay?" Georgie thrust water towards her and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her arm around her waist of support. "Sip slowly" she said as she guided her forward.

"He's dead ain't he?" She cried "No Mol. He's not dead, but we don't have much time so let's move"

"Lane on the stretcher" Bones swept Molly off her feet "I've got you" he whispered. The anger he felt somehow fading as he took in her dirty, pale face. "What you trying to do to me Dawes?"

Molly wasn't sure how long it took them. All she could see what him. His grey, mottled face was lifeless.

Shots were fired at them as they came to the clearing. You'd never see grass this green in London she thought to herself. She curled herself around him as the firefight erupted around them, thankful for the long grass that concealed them.

"I love you" she whispered, as if reminding him "And it's James to you. Never changed it back. Never wanted too. I've always been yours"

"Mert is 2 minutes away. We've got this Molly"

Georgie wrapped her arms around them both like a protective shield "He'll be alright" she cried even though she couldn't be sure.

Molly fumbled through his pocket in search of her rings before removing his own from the string around his neck. She threaded all three rings together before tying it around her neck.

"Back where they belong. I'll mind yours for you" she whispered before kissing him in the wind as the Mert landed.

"Come on Molly. Let's give them some space"

She sobbed as she watched them stabilise and strap him to a stretcher.

"With me Dawes" Bones ordered "Sir"

She had no idea the outcome of what had gone on around her but everyone seemed to be present, no casualties on their side.

She rocked back and forth on her feet, desperate to stay with him.

"Don't even think about it Molly" Bones spat as he watched her inch closer to the helicopter "You're in enough trouble as it is"

Georgie squeezed her hand, quiet reassurance he would be okay.

Molly watched as they prepared to move off. She had nothing to lose apart from him. Nothing else mattered. She climbed to her feet and ran towards the Mert "Dawes, on your belt buckle. Don't you fucking dare" Bones screamed as she launched herself into the chopper. The sensation of it lifting off the ground sent her stomach hurtling.

His eyes flickered open, just for a second. He knew she was there. She would always be the last thing he wanted to see.

-OG-b

 **Please review, it really spurs me on X**


	11. Chapter 11

**As always, thank you all so much for the reviews but also the well wishes. He's home and he's mending and we're adapting to what will be our new normal.**

 **Once again I apologise because this chapter is not how I wanted it to be, it was mostly complete before he came home and it's just is what it is now lol. Please do review and let me know if you're still enjoying. Again, thank you all so much x**

-OG-

Molly

I'm probably the worlds most useless human right now. I feel like I should be doing something to help in the middle of all this chaos but they are better equipped to save him than I am. I did all I could and the thought that it might not be enough scares the shit out of me.

They've resuscitated him more times than I care to think about but something is keeping him going. He's fighting for something. Selfishly, I hope that it's me.

The leg is no doubt lost. But we can live with that, I need him to know that, so as they work on lower half of him trying to make sense of the barbed spears and what the fuck to do with them, I find my wobbling legs carrying me towards the head of the gurney.

"Don't worry about that thing mate, who needs two legs anyway?" I laugh at my own joke and feel like he'd appreciate it too if he were conscious. He felt after the first leg injury that eventually it would end his career. I guess this makes him right. Then came the second but I wasn't really around for that one. Now this, there's no coming back from it.

They cut away everything from the offending limb and I honestly feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm glad he isn't awake to see it.

All I can do is hold him now. I cling onto him however I can until someone calmly but firmly moves me away.

"Emergency surgery" is about all I can make out with the language barrier and before I get the chance to say goodbye they've wheeled him away. He's gone. And I'm alone with my nut. For the first time ever I really understand just how badly your own brain can torment you and I truly forgive him.

Spanner's hand on my shoulder startles me, I'm sitting on the cold floor, it's sobering and refreshing after the sticky heat of the jungle. The poor sod attempts to provide some comfort, but he's here to deliver a low blow "Boss says I've got to bring you back to the FOB"

"But I wanna be with him, he needs me"

He gives me a look that suggests there's little point in arguing.

I not scared of what Bones is going to say or do, to be honest I couldn't care less. The only thing that matters to me is him making it through this alive. Blood loss... infection... we'll see just how strong he is now.

-OG-

Spanner and Peanut watch on awkwardly as Bones verbally laid into her. Neither comfortable with seeing her cry. Molly and Charles had been important to Elvis and Elvis was still important to them.

"With all due respect boss, I think that's enough" Spanner added "I don't remember asking you Spanner and please do remember who is in charge here.. she almost fucking died out there"

Spanner sighed "I know she fucked up, but it was extenuating circumstances from the beginning. Sometimes heart over takes head" he fought her corner.

"Dismissed Dawes. This won't be the last you hear of this. You're done in the army"

She fled in tears, counting down the minutes until she could return to his bedside.

"You know what the difference between you and Elvis is boss?" Bones rolled his eyes "I can think of a few but I'm sure you're about to tell me"

"He was Harte by name Sir. And heart by nature. You should try it sometime"

Spanner left Bones with that thought, his eyes falling on the court martial papers in front of him. A set each for Molly and Georgie and if he had his way a set for fucking Captain James too for all the trouble he'd caused.

What stung him most was the realisation that Molly really didn't have feelings for him. He'd known all along, but her actions, however you wanted to label them —heroic or stupid proved what he feared all along, she would go to the end of the Earth for someone that wasn't him. She would never grow to love him as he did her, wether Charles fucking James lived or died - she was his.

-OG-

Molly strode across the FOB in steps large enough to rival Charles'. Batting off conversation from Maisie and the others who wanted to much to tell her they thought she was awesome.

She tucked herself away in his cabin. It smelt of him, that alone was enough to send her over the edge. She picked up the frame, her own happy face staring back and her and she wondered would she ever feel that happy again if he died. She fell to her knees, tormented because she didn't know how he was. She had no one to ask.

Brains sat down next to her, taking her in his arms even though it hurt him. Her need was greater.

She sobbed into his chest, the events of the past few days finally catching up with her.

"He's not going anywhere Mol. He loves ya too much" They stayed there until it was dark, neither sure how many hours had passed them by. She may have even fallen asleep in the comfort of his arms as the hustle and bustle of the camp which was now bursting at the seems with personnel died down around them.

"If you don't mind Brains. I need to speak with Dawes"

Bones had adopted a more gentle tone since his last screaming session.

"I've been looking for you" he said once Brains had cleared the cabin.

"Sorry Sir. It's just all a bit much. Is there any news?"

"He's not in a good way. He's back in surgery... there has been some internal bleeding. I'm going to drive you to the hospital whilst you explain to me why you were such a fuck muppet and convince me not escalate this further than I have too. Then I'm going to give you leave of absence and you're going to do whatever it is you need to do. I expect you'll want to travel back with him once he's well enough to be flown home. I'm a fucking top bloke so I'm going to arrange that for you too"

She gave him the weakest smile she could manage but it still managed to make him feel a little something he never had before.

"Thank you Boss. And sorry"

She dared to grab a few of Charles things she felt he might need when (if) he came around. His phone so he could speak to Sammy. How was she going to break it to him just how bad his dad was?

-OG-

Bones had made her do none of the things he'd demanded just half an hour ago. He didn't make her explain herself, he already knew why she did it.

"Just call me when you need a lift back. Doesn't matter what time" he tried his best not to make eye contact with her. This was new, he'd never experienced this before and frankly he didn't fucking like it.

"Take care Molly. Pass on my regards to Charles when he wakes.. and he will wake Okay?"

Her head shot up "You called him Charles"

"Yeah, it's his name isn't it. Not even I'm horrible enough to insult a man on his deathbed .. nearly, but not quite"

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek "Thank you" he ignored the tingling sensation she left behind and watched her petite frame struggle with the height as she exited the jeep "And Boss.. you ain't really horrible. Everyone knows that"

He smirked back at her "You take care Dawes"

-OG-

Molly

My feet picked up more pace the closer I get, I've left him alone too long.

"How is he?" I asked whilst breathing like a puffer fish, pointing to my uniform in the hopes they'll put 2 and 2 together and know who I'm referring too.

"In surgery" the nurse mutters, again a language barrier between us. Where the fuck is Brains and his never ending smarts when you need him? And why do they speak Spanish all the way over here? It ain't Spain.

I sit and wait and it's like de ja vu. Only this time there's no going backwards for us. PTSD won't part us this time and neither will Georgie Lane who I owe everything too right now, but she won't be putting a toe out of line again when it comes to Charles.

I pull my phone from my top pocket. It's time to make that call... the one I've been dreading. They'll know by now, they'll have known a few days actually when he went missing. His mum will be beside herself.

It only rings once before she answers.

"Mrs James?" My voice is breaking already

"Molly? Is that our Molly?"

"Yeah... it's me" I can't help but cry now, she sounds relieved to hear my voice.

"Oh Molly, have you heard about Charles? There's been no news for hours... I don't know what's going on?" She sobbed.

"I'm here with him. I was with him in the jungle, as part of the rescue. I waited with him. He's in surgery. There's been some internal bleeding, he's in a really bad way Mrs J. I'll keep you updated on every bit of news as I get it I promise"

Mrs James as I now call her, because well it's been a long time since she was my mother in law, is crying uncontrollably. Making all the same noises I want too. I want to howl and scream.

"I won't leave his side, I promise" and that's all I can give her. I can't promise her he's gonna be alright and I can't promise her they'll save his leg. But I can promise her no matter what, I'll be by his side.

"Look after our boy won't you Molly?"

'Our boy' the words make my heart swell "I will. Always. I'll bring our boy home"

We make further small talk before a doctor beckons me into a side room. "Are you his next of kin?" He asked in perfect English "Well not officially but we're together. How is he?"

"He's still a cause for concern. He'll be in the ICU until he is stable enough to be flown home. We've done all we can for his leg. I do fear he will lose it if we cannot control the infection"

I feel a cold sweat all over. Losing his leg will kill him. It's a soldiers nightmare - the loss of limb or life.

He leads me towards the ICU room which will be our home for the foreseeable, no matter what the fucking army say. I ain't leaving.

-OG-

Days have passed and I'm still sitting here, unable to tear myself away. Just in case.

Just in case he wakes up. Just in case he doesn't.

The steady flow of people in and out has done little to distract me from doing the same job as the machine that's bleeping beside him. Both of us keeping watch. I watch the laboured rise and fall of is chest and wipe away sweat beads from his mottled, grey skin that seem to appear as soon as I've taken care of them. He looks like death.

I press my forehead to his after mopping it. Fever still ravages him, keeping him from me. I remember from last time he was injured just how much he hated strangers washing him down so I volunteer at every opportunity "Don't worry Charlie. I've seen it all before"

But still more days pass and although they assure me he is doing 'okay' something in my gut won't let me leave.

Brains informs me that Georgie is in a fuck tonne of trouble. I'm not sure how I feel about her or anything else right now so I dismiss her as a topic of conversation.

"How's the arm?" I ask, trying hard to sound like I care. I do care, I just don't have much left to give him right now.

"I'll live Mol, don't you worry"

He stares at me through concerned eyes "Come back with me eh? Get some scoff and a shower, some clean clothes. You'll feel loads better"

"I'll feel better when he wakes up and tells me he's not gonna fucking snuff it Harry. That's when I'll feel better"

So I wait out, for as long as it takes.

-OG-

Kingy shifts awkwardly as the Brigadier questioned him "So you believe Captain James was of sound mind when he made the decision for you all to jump? Because some of the section seem to think otherwise"

Kingy bit his lip "With all due respect Sir, they've had a traumatic few days. They are in shock. I believe they'll feel differently about things given some times to think about the chain of events that led us to that cliff top. It certainly wasn't down to Captain James' poor judgement. And yes, to answer your question - he was, without a doubt of sound mind that day. I trust him with my life. It was jump and risk it or stay and certainly die"

Bones smirked "Got a bit of bullshit on your chin King"

"And with all due respect to you too.. _Captain._ Your personal vendetta against the boss seems to somewhat cloud your judgement, not just professionally but personally also"

Bones stood up, moving forward with his fist clenched.

"McClyde!" Shouted the Brig.

"Sit down, for Christ sake we're in enough mess. Thank you Sergeant King. I trust 2 section in your very capable hands until arrangements can be made for a replacement Captain"

"Thank you Sir. Please pass on our well wishes to the boss"

Kingy marched out with anxiety. He had totally believed that Captain James was fine, of course he was - he was the bossman. They'd been a partnership for long enough now that he felt he knew him well enough to spot the signs. But did he? Bones called bullshit, was he right? Did his own loyalty to Captain James cloud his judgement? That would make him no better in his eyes.

He hid it well but he knew Georgie's actions and lack of respect for orders and authority had led to this. Injuries and possibly the loss of Captain James. He wanted to ring her neck - something needed to knock sense into her. She had redeemed herself as far as 2 section were concerned. She was a hero for saving their beloved Molly and Captain James but really she was far from it. If she had listened in the first place, they wouldn't have been in that position to start with. He hoped they'd throw the book at her.

-OG-

Days passed in a blur whilst she waited for something, anything to change. He still slipped in and out of consciousness, both the leg and his general heath a cause for concern.

"Dawes?" She stood to attention for the Brig.

"As you were. How's he doing?"

She felt like she had repeated herself a hundred times to the various visitors from top brass to select members of 2 sections (Brains and Kingy only) and the various phone calls she had to make on his behalf whilst also keep Mrs James in the loop it she reeled off the latest update.

"It's my understanding that he'll be flown home as early as tonight now we have the personnel needed to keep him stable during the flight. Against my better judgement I have agreed to your CO's wishes that you be flown home also. I understand the situation is somewhat complex. I also understand that some of that is due to things being overlooked when placing you all at Aldershot. I need you to know Dawes that although you're Captain seems to be favouring a lenient approach in regards to punishment for going awol, I can't promise that will be the case"

Molly nodded. Hoping the her face gave away just how little she cared.

"Thank you Sir"

He gazed at Charles and she spotted a flicker of emotion in his eyes.

"Take care of him Dawes, and yourself. And thank you"

She was confused by him, he gave her some hope that maybe things wouldn't be completely shit. But what will be, will certainly be. Her future lies in the bed before her, gravely ill.

He woke with a start, fearful that we're still in jungle hell. "Molly?"

"Welcome back soldier. Love keeping a lady waiting don't you?"

Charles took her hand "How are you? I left you, I'm so sorry" Molly squeezed his hand "Was a bit dehydrated but nothing a good old cup of Rosie couldn't fix" he returned her smile "Molly Dawes, always the joker"

"James, Molly James. I never changed it back legally. Never wanted too. I did tell you this in that bleedin' jungle but typical man, you don't listen" she spat out her tongue cheekily.

He attempted to lift his leg, checking it was still there. It was suspiciously pain free.

"And my leg?"

She took a deep breath "Christ, don't move it. Leave it be. They are trying to get the infection under control before they make any decisions. But you know you'll be okay regardless don't you? I'll look after you. And there's so much they can do these days.."

"I don't even want to think of it" he squeezed his eyes closed, fighting back tears. "I need to sleep"

She ran her fingers through his still dirty, unruly curls "Sleep baby, I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever"

The comfort of Molly stroking his cheek lulled him back to sleep. At least when he was asleep he didn't have to worry about his leg or his career that was down the shitter. All thanks to Georgie Lane.

-OG-

Georgie shook, leaning against the wall for support - dishonourable discharge. She'd avoided court martial because of the cluster fuck at top brass level. They never should have allowed her and Charles to work together again. They were saving their own arses.

She knew from the moment she got involved with Maria it wouldn't end well. It was ended worse than she ever could image. Charlie fighting for his life and his leg, her and Molly both with careers down the pan. It hurt to be called a disgrace for saving someone who means so much to you.

She wondered if either Molly or Charles would ever forgive her for this fuck up.

She boarded the plane back to the UK with a heavy heart, counting down the minutes until she would see Charlie again. To have the chance to explain herself and most importantly, apologise.

She pulled her phone out on arrival, hoping for news. A text from Molly sent her pulse racing. They were back and in Birmingham.

 _"They can't save his leg"_

She read the message over and over willing her eyes to be reading it wrong. It couldn't be true. She wept for him, she knew him well enough to know that this was going to be the start of all his problems again. He would feel like his life was over, like he had last time he'd been injured. The only difference this time, he didn't have to pine for Molly. Or so Georgie hoped.

 _"I'm on my way"_

She fired straight back. Fully aware that there was nothing she could do but give her support if they wanted it.

-OG-

There was silence. Awkward silence and Molly had to hand it to Georgie for having such a thick skin. The daggers being shot in her direction from Charles' parents and even Sam would be enough to send Molly packing.

"Did they say how long he'd be?" Georgie whispered

Molly's shook her head no "However long it takes to amputate a leg I s'pose"

Georgie cringed. "Listen, I want to be around for both of you but I'm not welcome here..."

The elder of the two Charles James' cut in "Finally dear, you've taken the hint"

"I'm sorry" Georgie said in the direction of his parents, although she wasn't exactly sure who she was apologising too.

"My son has lost EVERYTHING because of you" he shouted. "Everything"

"His wife, his career and now his bloody leg. He told me about your shenanigans, they day before he had to make that jump, before they got their hands on him"

Sam burst into tears, flinging himself into Molly's arms.

"I'm sorry. All I can say is sorry" Georgie wept.

Molly actually felt sorry for her. Although she was unaware of the full extent of what Georgie had got up too. Maybe it was best she didn't know.

The excruciating wait was killing her, she couldn't spare any head space for Georgie. She made her bed over and over and she was finally paying the price.

-OG-

 **Hope you've enjoyed and you're pleased that there is finally punishment for a Georgie's actions. Please review and let me know x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks again for the reviews on the previous chapter. And thank you for the PM's regarding this next chapter and seeing how we're doing. I do love a chat lol**

 **I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this up, I'm not happy with it and also slightly nervous to post it... but it's post or delete at this stage so before I drive myself crazy here it is. Please review and hopefully it will renew my motivation x**

-OG-

Molly was watching the rain from the window when he woke. He was happy to leave her there, he had nothing to say. He'd pushed his luck one too many times when it came to his leg, and now he had paid the ultimate price.

He'd been staring at the ceiling awhile before she realised he was awake.

"Hi" she said tentatively "I would ask how you're feeling, but I'm guessing it's pretty shit. So I won't"

She sat down beside him on the bed, leaning over to press her forehead against his clammy head.

Huge, fat tears rolled down his cheeks but still he was said nothing.

She used a thumbs to wipe them away whilst giving in to her own. She couldn't imagine how he was feeling right now only that he was full of pain and grief, because that's what she imagined it would feel like. Grief.

He couldn't bring himself to even look in the direction of the leg that still felt like it was there. It hurt like it was still there too.

He refused visitors, all except for Molly. She'd already seen it so he figured there was no point pushing her away, the only reason he woke up in the morning was to see her smiling face. She was still smiling for now anyway but he was sure, eventually she'd walk.

-OG-

"If you take this mission, I'll personally have your slate wiped clean. No court martial. No AWOL. Clean start, as part of special forces"

Bones held his breath, hoping she was at least considering it. In his head he was absolutely not, in any way shape or form trying to sway her away from Charles. Or was he? He knew this was exactly what she had always wanted, she had told him as much on many a drunken night they had shared each other's company. When he thought he stood a chance.

It almost looked like she was tempted until she shook her head "Charles needs me, now more than ever. So if that means I'm done with the army then so be it. I'll take whatever they want to throw at me"

"You'd throw it all away for a cheating mood hoover with one leg?" He wished he could take the words back as soon as they'd left his mouth but it was said now, he'd own it.

"How dare you?" She spat "My choice to make ain't it. Not my fault you've got a school boy crush you can't let go of. Or is it about getting one over on him? Must hurt that even in his current situation I still chose him over you"

"Ouch Dawes. Spiteful. But me and you both know, you're not a carer. You're a soldier, through and through. You'll grow resentful, it won't work and you'll both be broken all over again"

She was enraged now "He already is fucking broken. He's lost everything Scott. Absolutely everything. He can't lose me too. You know you've put an opportunity on the table that a year ago I would have jumped at. But it ain't for the right reasons, I ain't an idiot. I'm done in the army, my life is with him leg or not leg. He needs me"

He thumped his first on the table "For fuck sake Molly" she stood up to leave "Thanks for everything you've done for me. Do what you need to do in regards to the court martial - I really don't give a fuck"

She felt liberated as she stomped away, for the first time in her life she was truly in control. No army regulations were going to sway her - she'd take her punishment, no Dawes family drama to make her want to run for the hills. Her head was clearer than it had ever been, it's was time to live their life together. The one they should have been living for all these years spent apart. She would piece him back together but unlike last time, she wouldn't allow herself to fall apart in the process.

Bones rushed after her, grabbing her by the hand as he caught up. "Molly please"

"Don't fucking Molly me mate. You need to get it in your thick head that this ain't happening between us"

He wanted to kiss her, everything about her drove him wild, even the way she talked backed to him.

He'd imaged she was an absolute firecracker in bed, oh how he'd imagined it more than a few times.

"You and I both know it's not what you really want"

She rolled her eyes once more but she didn't argue. Surely that was a good sign?

He leaned in, almost nose to nose with her "Never in my life have I ran around after a women. Never put myself out there, bent over fucking backwards to make her life easy. You've done something to me Dawes"

She closed her eyes and he considered kissing her, it was now or never.

He brushed his lips over hers before doubling over after she elbowed him in the gut, winding him.

"Don't push your fucking luck Bones or it won't be me getting a court martial. You'll be up for sexual assault"

He bit his lip, kicking himself as she stripped away from him. "Fucking Charles James".

-OG-

"Hey you" she greeted him with a kiss as he woke, still a little dazed from heavy pain relief. "Hey yourself. How did it go?"

Charles had fretted every single waking minute about her being punished for saving him. He even tried to pull strings but she wasn't in his chain of command. He could do nothing to help her.

"Nothing for you to worry about. Probably a slap on the wrist. The solicitor advised me to strongly remind them of their own mistakes, in regards to over looking past ... situations" she didn't want to make him feel guilty "and Bones seems sympathetic which is a surprise to me seeing as he thinks you're a prize prat" "charming" He interjected "So, like I said. Nothing for you to worry about" she knew if she told him if Bones' offer, he would encourage her to go for it, or feel guilty that she was in this mess but it wasn't his fault. She had done everything off of her own back. And she'd do it all again if he meant saving his life.

She stroked his hair, deep in thought and frankly quite surprised that Bones was so taken with her. There had always been something of a spark between them, but she was sure it had been just banter. He was hardly the soppy type who declared his love so where had this come from? And why was he protecting her from punishment when he had been instrumental in having Georgie dismissed for the same offence.

"Penny for them?" Charles said softly. His handsome face staring up at her.

"Just thinking how much I love you. That's all"

He smiled and settled himself against her body.

He was conflicted as to how he was meant to feel. It felt so good to have her back but it was bittersweet at the same time. Would she even been here had he not been injured? Would she stay now that he was stuck like this?

He wasn't sure of anything anymore. It was difficult to make sense of anything being so heavily medicated, all he knew was he was scared. Scared of what life would be like now and scared to lose her all over again.

They didn't talk about his leg. At all. It was completely out of bounds.

"I'm looking forward to moving back home" she said with a smile, hoping he would feel the same "Yeah.. will be good"

"Sam been in?" Conversation was like pulling teeth most of the time as he fought the demons in his head "No"

"Probably busy with all that rugby training. He'll be in at weekend I'm sure" she made a mental note to speak to Sam. She knew it was difficult and he was dreading seeing his dad since the amputation. A natural reaction for a child.

"Can I get you anything?" She made a last ditch attempt at conversation before giving up. A shake of the head was all she got. The medic in her wanted to encourage him to talk, she couldn't risk pull blown PTSD blowing them apart again. But the girlfriend in her knew he just needed time.

She pulled the chair as close as possible to the head of the bed, resting her head on his arm and wrapping her hand around his "You'll be alright" she promised.

"Hmm"

She pulled his poetry book and began reading aloud. Anything to fill the silence. She knew he was listening, maybe even enjoying it. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the soothing sound of her voice reading one of his favourites. Forgetting everything, just for a moment.

-OG-

Bones was making a bold move. He guessed it was going to end with her punching him square in the face but a tiny slither of him hoped it would go in his favour. That it would work out how he was planning it too.

He knocked the door, awkward fucking timing he thought as the physiotherapist helped Charles back in to bed. Charles quick to cover his stump.

As much as Bones disliked him, it pained him to see someone he'd know so long suffering. A fellow soldier who now looked so lost. And he was probably about to add to it.

"James, mate. How you doing?"

Charles stared back confused "I think we both know we aren't mates. What do you want?"

He'd normally chew someone out for being such a cock, especially as he was actually polite for once but he remembered Molly's tears. And how difficult he himself would find it if he was in Charles' shoes now.

"I genuinely wanted to see how you are Charles. We go back, and believe it or not I am sorry that this has happened to you"

"I'm sensing a but is coming"

"No flies on you that's for sure. I've come to discuss Molly. You know she's in major fucking trouble. And as her commanding officer, it's been left to me to decide how she is punished now that they've decided not to go the court martial route. And I want her Charles, on my team"

Charles rubbed at the stubble on his jaw "What are you telling me for? Surely you should be asking Molly"

"I have asked Molly. And she has declined on the grounds that she wants to be with you which I understand. But she's throwing away her potential James, you and I both know she's not a carer. She's a soldier. I want you to change her mind, the only other alternative is discharge. And we both know she doesn't deserve that"

Charles bit at his bottom lip, surprised at this revelation. Unsure wether he was happy she'd chosen him, sad she'd be giving all of this up or angry that she had lied to him.

"If you knew Molly as well as you thought you did, you would know that she is probably one of the most caring people on the planet. And that isn't and won't be our situation. She will never be my carer as you put it, she's my partner. And again, if you knew Molly as well as you seem to think you do, then you would know that once Molly has made up her mind there is little that can be done to change it. She is her own person. You can go now" Charles couldn't look at him.

Bones stood up "Do the right thing Charlie. Don't hold her back" he held Charles' glare before departing, hopeful he'd get what he wanted.

Charles swiped his table clear of everything, slamming his fists down hard. He was going to lose her again.

-OG-

"So let me get this straight McClyde, you are taking responsibility for Dawes going awol?" The Brig raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Sir. I am"

"You'd better get your story straight. This is getting messier by the minute. You may be my son but I can't keep covering up your fuck ups. This favouritism you seem to be showing Dawes, it will be your undoing"

"There isn't any favouritism. I'm just trying to be the best CO I can and nurture potential where is see it"

The Brig rub his chin "Pull the other one Scott. You've grown attached to a woman who for all intents and purposes threw her career down the toilet and risked her own life to save her ex husband. I think your wasting time and energy here and it's dangerous. Sort it out before I remove you from the situation permanently"

Bones was weaving himself a complicated web for a woman who didn't feel the same as he did. And had absolutely no fucking idea why. All he knew was he was in love with Molly Dawes.

-OG-

Charles smiled at the sight of her long dark locks as she washed her hands in the sink.

"I was hoping you'd be here when I woke up"

Georgie turned to face him, his expression instantly turning sour.

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong brunette boss. But will I do for now?" She giggled.

He glared at her, not speaking a single word. "Charlie?"

"Get out" he said sternly

"What? I've only just got here, I came to see how you're doing"

"I said get out. Get the fuck out or so help me, one leg or not I will throw you out myself"

Her eyes filled with tears "You blame me don't you?"

"I told you, Repeatedly to keep your nose out. But you just couldn't do it. You've cost me everything. My job, my life. Everything. My son is scared of me, he can't even look at me. And Molly, well she won't want me like this. She thinks she does for now, she won't stay. Why would she fucking stay?"

"Because she loves you that's why. I'm sorry Charlie but I've lost everything too"

He had heard enough "You can walk out of here on two legs. Go and get any job you choose too without physical disability holding you back. What good am I too anyone now? What can I do now? How am I meant to provide for my son and Molly?"

He was crying and it broke her "Charlie, please"

He was relieved to see Molly standing in the door way "Charles? What's going on?" She looked to Georgie for answers as she sat herself beside him on the bed, his emotional state alarming her.

"Charles what's wrong?" She pulled his face into her neck, hoping to make him feel safe once again.

"Get rid of her. I can't stand the sight of her"

With a flick of the Molly's head, Georgie left the room, hurricane Molly storming out behind her.

"What the fuck you doing turning up here unannounced? I've told you he's not in a good place. He needs time"

"He blames me Mol. Like everyone else. I just wanted to see him that's all"

Molly sighed "It's best just left. Please Georgie, let him grieve for what he's lost in peace"

Georgie gave a nod of the head "Right, okay. Look after him Molly"

"Of course I will"

She found her feet particularly interesting as she shuffled them whilst plucking up the courage to ask what she needed too.

"Do you blame me too?" She almost whispered so much so that Molly had to replay the sounds she heard to try decipher if she'd heard right.

She opened her mouth to respond before closing it again and considering wether she should say how she truly felt or not.

"Molly?"

"I think things would have turned out different, had you not got involved where you shouldn't have. So yeah, I suppose I do"

Georgie nodded, her dark eyes glazed over with I shed tears.

"I'm sorry. I'll never stop being sorry"

And with that, she was gone.

Charles holds his hand out to Molly "Please let me hold you" he pleads and she's there. His safe place.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying his head in her chest "I love you" she affirms, dropping as many kisses as possible onto his head before pulling his handsome face up to look him in the eye "bad day?" He nods, placing his head back onto her chest.

"Well lucky for you, I come with news. I've completely redecorated the house. Actually that's a lie, I paid someone else to do it. Actually that's another lie, you paid someone else to do it"

She laughs but he doesn't "what are we going to do now Molly? What am I going to do?"

He looked vulnerable and sad and it broke her heart. "You are going to heal and your gonna get all the help and support you need. I'm going to support you and love you and take care of you until your back on your feet again" she cringed at her poor choice "And we are going to adapt to our new normal, and be happy. I promise we can still be happy, no matter what. Am army free life, who'd have thought it?"

He closed his eyes to sleep again "Hey don't sleep yet"

"Why not? What's left to do but sleep? I don't feel this pain then, I don't worry or feel miserable if I'm unconscious"

She dared to snigger a laugh "Bit dramatic, even for you"

He smiled back at her "pisstaker"

"Yep. Anyway, you owe me some chips, I skint and jobless thanks to that bleedin' leg. Glad the fuckers gone"

He threw his head back in gut busting hysterics.

"Mission accomplished" she smiled to herself.

-OG-


	13. Chapter 13

**As always, thank you to all of you who took the time to review the last chapter or drop me a PM. They are very much appreciated. I know it's not one of the most popular moves I've ever made in any of my stories but I think it was an important one. Amputation is probably one of the most common outcomes to injuries sustained by our soldiers (although I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that) my own fella is an amputee so I hope to do it justice.**

 **Excuses, excuses - I'm sorry but I don't know when I'll next update. My fiancé is back in hospital. He's really quite unwell and I just need to take a break. Our wedding is rescheduled again for just 2 months time and I need to focus everything on getting him well and looking after my babies solo for the time being. I'll still be kicking around reading all the fab updates each evening and chatting in my inbox though.**

 **Please do let me know what you think of this chapter. Like I said, every review is appreciated x**

-OG-

"Does he look different?" Sam asked wearily "Nah. Still looks the same, just a bit sick still. Actually a lot sick but he misses you and I think it will do you both the world of good"

Sam sighed "People at school... they've been saying mean things..." Molly turned to face him "Well they can be dealt with. And do you really care what they think of your dad? He's a war hero, he's kept their sorry ars... butts safe from all sort over the years. Remind them of that. Politely though, coz you don't want detention and I don't want your mum on my back" they shared a knowing smirk.

"Can he move about?"

This is exactly what Sam had needed. To be able to ask questions and put his fears to bed.

"He's using a wheelchair for the moment. It's still very swollen and hurts him a lot. He gets what they call phantom pains and it feels like it's still there, so sometimes he gets pains where his leg would have been and he gets quite stressed but that's because the nerves take time to realise what's happened. So if that happens while you're here don't be frightened, Just hold his hand. When he feels better, he'll get some crutches, remember he had those before? Like after Afghanistan when he had a broken leg. And then when he's feeling much better he'll get a prosthetic leg, you know like you see on the telly? In the Paralympics and stuff and they'll help him learn to walk again like a giant baby then he'll be able to do nearly everything again. He'll probably finally beat you at racing too because he won't have that silly old leg that hurt him when it was cold or made him limp when he run"

Sam squeezed her hand "Will he get one of them blades? Like on the telly?" Molly giggled "I'm not sure about that mate, one step at a time. We've got to get him walking on the basic leg first"

Sam squeezed her hand "I'm glad you're back Molly. I'm glad you love my dad again"

She pulled him into her arms "I never stopped loving him, or you for that matter. We just got a bit lost, but I won't be going anywhere again"

She hastily wiped away tears from her eyes before they saw Charles. This was going to be emotional enough without her snivelling too.

"You ready?"

"I don't have to look at _it_ do I? I'm scared" He voice shook

"No. Your Dad hasn't looked yet either. But I have...it only bit me once" Sam snorted a laugh "It's okay to be scared too. But just remember he'll be alright. And so will you. If they didn't remove it then you'd have no dad, infection would have killed him"

She wondered if she was doing it right. If it would meet Rebecca's high standards but Rebecca hadn't bothered to talk to him or ease any of his fears and anxieties. And Charles needed his son. He needed to know he wasn't the leper her felt he was.

He was asleep when they entered allowing Sam a moment to himself to take it all in.

"He still looks sick" he confirmed to himself, inching closer. Placing his hand on top of Charles'.

"Remember when you use to write on his arm? Why don't we write him a message?"

Sam's face lit up as he took the pen from Molly.

 _Love you dad_

Charles' eyes flickered open, a huge smile across his face. "Hello scamp. I've missed you"

Sam threw his arms around him "Dad"

Molly took a step back, allowing them their moment to fall back in line with each other. She blinked back tears and wondered why she'd ever fretted about this moment. Why Charles had been so frightened of it.

"There's room for a little one" Sam quipped

"Oi cheeky. Watch it or I'll eat all the chocolate you think I haven't spotted in your bag"

"It's for Dad"

"It's mine now mate, he owes me.. ate all my Cadbury's when I was checking my eyelids for holes yesterday"

"She was sleeping on the job" Charles corrected with a hint of a giggle.

"Lies. All lies Sam, I ain't got a job"

Charles smiled at her. A smile she hadn't seen for awhile "Thank you" he mouthed over Sam's head while he still clung to his chest.

He appreciated her more than he'd ever be able to put into words. Things felt hopeless, he felt hopeless but with her ever present charm and magnetism he couldn't help but smile and feel that maybe he'd be alright. She always managed to pull something out of the bag when he needed it most.

Rebecca's sour face and equally sour atmosphere that seemed to follow her around like a dark cloud did little to dampen Sam's energy. Molly glanced at Charles, aware of his uneasiness that someone new was seeing him in his new state.

Molly arranged the blankets strategically to lessen any embarrassment he was feeling.

He thanked her silently with an adoring look causing Rebecca to roll her eyes.

"So when will they give you a leg? This is far from ideal although I can't say I'm surprised, that leg had more lives than a cat"

"Mum!" Sam shouted

"Outside now" Molly pushed her towards the door, completely unintimidated by their height difference "What the fuck was that all about?" Molly spat.

"What do you get out of making him feel like shit? Do you not think he's already low enough without you spitting venom at him?"

Rebecca opened her mouth to speak "Save it. You're just lucky Sam is here or I'd have pasted you down the corridor. Keep it zipped"

Sam appeared by their side forcing Molly to leave taking it any further.

"I'll see you soon mate. Remember what I said, come and see us anytime. And drop him a few messages when you think of it"

"Thanks for looking after him Molly" he smiled sweetly.

"Always" she smiled back, Watching them leave wondering how she had made it through so many years without throat punching Rebecca.

Bones with his increasing bad timing had witnessed the exchange between them.

"Everything alright here Dawes?"

"Yeah. Well it was until she got here"

Her head darted back in the direction of Charles, causing the the pit of his stomach to hurt a little.

"How's he doing?"

Molly raised an eyebrow "Why do you care? And what you doing here?"

"Erm, well I came to speak to him. In private"

"About what? He doesn't need any stress"

"I need to apologise" he couldn't look her in the eye

"For what? What have you done?"

Bones respected Charles for not grassing him up to Molly but he'd have to explain himself now.

"I spoke to him about the offer I made you. I thought he'd do a better job at persuading you to go for it. Time is running out Molly, I need you to think about it"

"I told you NO Bones" she shouted before remembering where she was and storming off.

He couldn't help but feel there was something between them, even if she was dedicated to Charles.

He followed her "Talk to me Molly"

"I've made my decision. And how dare you go behind my back? How dare you put that on him?"

Bones rested his hand on her arm "I was out of line, that's why I've come to apologise to him. But I still think you're fucking mental to take punishment instead of an opportunity"

"My priorities changed when he nearly died in the jungle"

Charles glared at them. Molly's distressed voice carrying down the corridor had kicked him into action, he'd used his concern for her as the motivation he needed to get himself up.

"This is cosy" he spat, glaring at Bones.

"Scott was just leaving"

Charles laughed sarcastically "Scott? On first name terms with your Captain already?"

"Look, I'm sorry if I've caused trouble here. I wanted to apologise to you James, for speaking out of turn. But I won't apologise for wanting the best for Molly, think about it"

She scowled at him. Jealous Charles was helpful to no one, least of all himself. She steadied him, placing her hands on either side of his torso as he wobbled on his crutches back to his room.

"Back to bed"

She guided him gently, winching at his pain with him as she helped him into bed.

"He had no right Charles"

He turned away from her. They look far cosier than Captain and subordinate should be, not that he was one to talk.

"I want you to go home. I want to be alone"

"I'm not even allowing this to start Charles. You ain't sending me away so you can fester with whatever is going through your nut. Talk to me. We made a promise to each other remember? We wouldn't do this again"

He sat in silent, willing the tears that were burning at back of his eyes to piss off.

"I'm giving you the chance to get out now. I won't put up a fight, I'll understand"

Molly sighed "How is this different from the last time then? You didn't fight for me then either"

He held her gaze "Why would you want me like this? When you could have the career you always dreamt of? And you could have him.. a fully functioning soldier. With 2 legs"

Molly sat down beside him "Do you really think I'm that shallow? That the fact you lost a leg would change how I feel about you?"

"I just don't want you to resent me or regret a missed opportunity to be even greater than you already are"

She took his hand in hers "Like I just told _that_ prat, my priorities changed in that jungle. I want something else. I lived so long without you, I had my career and I still wasn't happy. You are it for me, you are my happiness. We just have to ride out this storm and get you well again"

"I don't want you to go" His sad brown eyes bore into her "Good thing I'm not then ain't it"

She wiped away his tears before pulling his face towards hers, parting his lips with her tongue, kissing him deeply.

"I need reassurance from you too Charles. You need to prove to me that you ain't gonna check out on me again"

"I'm trying really hard to get through this. To fight the demons in my head. I don't want to lose you"

She wrapped her arms around him "That's all I needed to hear - That you're trying. We can get through this okay?"

"I love you. And I can't wait to get you home"

"dirty buggy" He sniggered.

"Well I didn't actually mean that, but now you mention it. I can't wait for you to be healed...so I can..." she whispered into his ear something that aroused.

The way she kissed him sent him wild.

He bit his tongue in regards to the conversation he'd had with Bones. Maybe it was for the best to leave it there. If he pushed the matter, she might leave. But if he didn't encourage her, she would no doubt end up regretting it and blaming him anyway.

Bones had humiliated him. He was the last person Charles would ever wish to see him in such a vulnerable state but he had gone one further and used it against him.

He saw the way he looked at her. With the same fire in his heart for her that was in his own. She was special and easy to fall in love with and she was his, he wasn't going to allow Bones to swoop in and take her.

-OG-

Rebecca took the liberty of walking through the house like she owned it. In all the years that Molly had lived here with _him,_ she'd never been inside. The fact that Sam had felt at home and happy there was like rubbing salt into a never healing wound.

Now that Sam was older and able to vocalise his feeling for his dad and a newly returned Molly, She thought it was about time she took the time to see what Charles had given Molly. By the looks of things, not much.

"Oh hi" Molly interrupted her train of thought.

"Hi"

Molly eyed her suspiciously. It was unlike Rebecca to appear so deep in thought.

"Is Everything alright?"

"Yes. I just wanted to say... well I wanted to say thank you for the way you handled the situation with Sam and Charles. I had been dreading it and he seems happier now that he's seen him"

Molly was flabbergasted "You're welcome. You know I'd do anything for either of them and the thought that Sam was scared of him was killing Charles. I'd appreciate it if you could be a little kinder and more tactful next time you see him though. He's got enough on his plate"

Rebecca sat herself down uninvited "I am sorry about that. It was hard for me too... to see him that way. He's the father of my child... and his life is ruined"

Molly stood shellshocked when she started to cry "Oh Jesus Rebecca don't do all this... you might shatter your face" Rebecca stared at her before doing the unthinkable and throwing her head back and laughing at the insult.

"I always liked you Molly. Even if I didn't show it. You've been good for Charles and I'm glad he's got you to help him through this. I fear a different ending If you weren't"

Molly nodded knowingly. She feared the same thing too. Some days she still did.

"If you ever need anything in regards to him. I'd love to help" She offered sincerely.

"Thank you. I'll probably take you up on that. I have a feeling it's not going to be the easiest of rides"

It felt good to have an understanding with Rebecca, even if it was just for Sam's sake. It wouldn't hurt to have her as an ally.

"He just needs everyone to be normal with him. He doesn't need to be made to feel like an invalid or a freak. He's neither. He'll be a lot more mobile when he accepts the prosthetic leg is going to be his key to mobility"

Rebecca caught the worry and trepidation in her tone. Something she wasn't used too, Molly was feisty and gobby and a little bit of everything Rebecca had wanted to be in her life.

"I know he's not the easiest and he sinks into his clouds and makes helping him difficult. Christ I know, it ended my marriage to him the same as it did yours. But the fact your sitting here again means you are the one for the job Molly. You can get him where he needs to be" she squeezed Molly's arm.

"Thank you. And sorry, it's just hard that's all"

Rebecca nodded "I know. Accept all the help you can get. Especially from his witch of a mother"

Molly laugher "She's alright"

"I'll let him settle in before I let Sam all but move himself in... he's waiting to see the robot leg"

Molly smiled. Sam had been the easiest, most accepting of all of them. Rebecca pulled her into a hug "Remember what I said. And apologise to Charles for me"

Her words had comfort Ahmad reinforced Molly. She nags in her head that she couldn't do this were firmly put to bed.

-OG-

Charles rolled his eyes and tutted impatiently as she struggled to fit the wheelchair through the doorframe. "For fuck sake Molly. Just pass me my crutches" she did as instructed and helped up on this good leg, keeping him steady as he pushed his arms through the loop.

"Go slowly please for fuck sake the last thing I need is blood on the new floor"

He slowly made his way through the house, taking in the subtle but definitely there adaptions that had been made on recommendation of his occupational therapist in the weeks he had been in hospital. Quietly Molly had been working away behind the scenes to make his transition back home as smooth as possible. She was his diamond.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it? We can change any colours that you don't like"

"It's not the colours Molly. The decorating is fine, if you're happy, I'm happy... it's just strange seeing you back here. I was so lonely..." his voice broke.

"Hey, enough of that. I'm back and there's no getting rid now mate. Take the weight off, relax and let me look after you okay? We're gonna be okay"

He took her word for it, but being home was quite overwhelming.

"Where do you want this guy to live when you're not wearing it?" She waved the temporary prosthetic at him "under the stairs please. I don't even want to look at it"

"You have to get used to it eventually Charles. Or you'll be stuck with the crutches or in the chair"

He was pretty sure that he didn't _have_ to get used to anything. He would never be okay with this.

"Hey look, you can use it as a drinks holder" she laughed and demonstrated by slotting her bottle of water into the top of the limb causing him to give in and chuckle.

"Come here" he demanded. She slotted herself into the gap next to him in the chair, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I love you" he breathed into her hair, taking in her scent "you are a breath of fresh air do you know that?"

She looked up at him smiling "Love you more"

The weight of Bones' words weighed heavy on him. He was holding her back from being brilliant.

"We can still make this work, if you wanted to continue in the army. Bones won't hold out for you forever and I always told you I wanted you to be brilliant"

She brought her finger up to his lips "Ssh. Stop talking" she brought her lips down heavily into his, kissing him greedily. "I've been waiting so long to do this" she groaned, moving down his jaw line to his neck.

For the first time since surgery he felt something other than pain "Molly"

"Uh huh" she muttered breathlessly "I want you... let me"

He realised what she was doing. That's how it began the first time round. They just stopped being intimate. He'd make any excuse he could think of not to give into anything that required emotion. He was void of all that.

She needed this as reassurance that he hadn't completely checked out again. Of course there was some signs of ptsd, and she didn't blame him after the major trauma of what happened in the jungle

and subsequently losing his leg but she was scared all the same.

"It's too soon Molly. Although you've more than tempted me. I just can't yet... I'm just not ready too"

He was trying his level best not to go back into the dark place even though it was trying to lure him. Everything she had ever warned him of when their marriage was falling apart had come true. Although the promise that she would never come back was clearly one that she couldn't keep.

Her eyes gave away the pain she was in. Pain that he was suffering and she could do so little to help, fear that she would lose him to the demons in his head once more.

"It's not the same this time. This time I want to be okay, I care what happens to me and us. Last time I had no regard for anyone, least of all myself"

Molly just listened with her head rested on his chest listening to his increased heart rate. She placed one hand gently on what remained of his leg causing him to flinch.

"Is it as ugly as it feels?" He asked and sounded so vulnerable.

"No. Why don't you take a look?"

It had been weeks and still he hadn't been able to look at what condition he'd been left in. Wouldn't change his own dressing no matter how hard they tried to tell him it was important. He knew Molly would do it. There was no need for him to put himself through looking at it.

"No"

"You can't avoid it forever Charles. You're stuck with it"

She regretted the tough love but it was the truth. This was his new normal and he had to accept it.

"Will you help me shower? I want to smell like me again"

He looked baffled at the newly installed wet room that had appeared as if by magic in the downstairs bathroom. A chair and handrails fitted where there once had been a plush bath

"The occupational therapist suggested it, so I thought it made sense. You can't wear your leg in the shower" she defended the decision after noticing his highly offended expression.

He'd never really considered that technically he was now what some might call disabled. It was a very sobering realisation.

He sat in the chair and allowed Molly to undress him before the water began cascading down his back.

"Take a Look Charles" she said softly. So he did.

She was sure he was crying but it was hard to tell so she held him anyway just in case.

"Not that bad is it?"

The way he looked at her shattered her heart. So sad and vulnerable, almost child like.

"You won't always feel like this, I promise. You'll get stronger and you'll adapt. And when you've got your leg on you'll be able to do almost everything. We can get the car adapted, you can drive me around like the lady muck I am"

He gave a small laugh "One thing no one can ever say about Molly Dawes is that she behaves like lady Muck"

"Ah but this is Molly James we're talking about innit. Different kettle of fish. Bagged meself a posh bloke, it's gone to my head mate"

"Molly James eh? I think we should make it official"

She smirked at him "you proposing to me in the bog?"

He laughed "Beats that's fucking jungle though doesn't it?"

"I dunno if it weren't for all the scaries after us I might have had fun"

She spat her tongue out at him as she weaves her fingers through his curls to wash them.

"All clean and smelling 100% poncy again"

She offered her hand to help him which he took and then wrapped his arms around.

"As far as bog proposals go, this one was my fave"

She pushed her tongue between his lips, still aching for the passion she'd been hoping for earlier.

"That a yes then James?" His eyes bore into hers, hopeful.

"Yes Charles. It's always a yes"


	14. Chapter 14

**2 nights of absolutely no sleep so I made myself useful.**

-OG-

"What can I do for you James?"

Charles pulled the door open - this was a first. He'd never imaged willing inviting Bones into his home.

"Do you need a hand?" He offered awkwardly watching Charles struggle.

"Actually I need a leg but that mechanical piece of shit is the best I'm going get"

Bones laughed "That was humorous for you Charlie boy. Did they give you a personality transplant when they chopped your leg off?"

Charles smirked.

"Sorry that was too far wasn't it"

"A tad" Charles answered dryly.

"What can I do for you? Where's Molly?" Bones asked confused.

"She's gone to see her family. Things have been a little stressful as you can well imagine, I'm not the easiest person to be around right now. I encouraged her to have a break"

Bones nodded his head "You're lucky to have her" he said matter of factly.

"I know. That's why I need your help, I need you to encourage her to stay in the army. You seem to have... a connection. I want you to use it"

"I'm not sure I like where your going with this James. Didn't you tell with your best captains face that Molly was her own person and all that shit?"

"I need her to make her own mind up without this thing swaying her to stay at home. I need her not to resent me, to truly want to be here if that what she chooses. But I know her heart is still in the army"

"I think she proved herself in that jungle Charlie boy. Don't be a dick"

Charles sighed "that's not what I'm trying to do here. I know how she feels about me. I just think it's clouded her judgement for the army and I don't want to be responsible for that"

Bones nodded "I think you're right. I'll see what I can do" he extended his hand to Charles. After all these years, finally there was an understanding between them. And it was over a girl they both loved.

"Do you need anything before I go James?"

"No... thank you. I'm getting about a little easier now"

For the first time in years Bones looked him in the eye "I am truly sorry Charles. I'm sorry this happened to you"

Charles smiled gratefully "Thanks. Not as sorry as I am. But I appreciate it. And thank you. For saving me and Molly. And keeping her out of trouble. I should have said it sooner"

Bones nodded. He got why it had been so hard for him to apology and he didn't need a thank you. But it was nice all the same.

"Take care James. Oh a word of advice.. Put on the fucking leg and sort yourself out"

-OG-

He stared at the arrangement of pills Molly had carefully laid out for him. Although it had never crossed his mind to abuse them, it clearly was on hers as he had absolutely no idea where any of these pills lived once she had dished them out.

Nerve pain pills, blood thinners, more pain killers ... more pills than he'd ever seen before in his life. What this it now? Was life going to be him rattling round an empty house when Molly wasn't home and swallowing pills just to function? She was doing everything for him.

He'd noticed she was looking thinner and more tired and seemed to be on autopilot most of the time. Rarely stopping long enough to actually rest herself.

It was like she was using his needs as a distraction from her feelings and he was unsure what these feelings were. Regret about committing to him now he was like this or regret at no longer being in the army? Was bound to be one or the other. Maybe it was both?

Molly had offered to pack up his flat at barracks, as well as her own now they were both back in their marital home it didn't make sense to keep them if neither intended to go back.

She let herself in to be confronted with the life he used to have. Two trainers say nearly by door, his running shoes. He was always a keen running between tours to keep up fitness.

Her heart swelled with guilt and an ache she wasn't quite sure why it kept attaching her. Deep down she felt she had failed. She was the medic and he lost his leg on her watch.

Molly poured herself a glass of wine from fridge. This was going to be much more painful than she had expected.

"I'm sorry I didn't realise you'd be here..."

Amy stared down at her, both women equally as shocked as the other.

"Well ditto" Molly responded coolly.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Charles. Things may not have been good between us but I'd never wish that for him, or you. And I know what a hard time your bound to be having. He was difficult enough when it was just broken bones we were dealing with"

Molly poured her a glass and gestured for her to sit. She had nothing to say.

"The landlord called me... I can help if you like?"

It went against everything Molly stood for.

She didn't accept help easily, it wasn't in her nature to ever let someone know she was struggling. But today she needed help, with more than just packing boxes.

"I keep telling him he can lead a normal life... that everything is gonna be alright. But I'm not sure I even believe it myself" she sobbed.

"It's a shock for you too. Are you getting the support you need? It's not just him who will need it you know. There's no shame in saying 'we're struggling and we need some help'"

"I look at him and I just want to make it all okay. When he cries in agony or cries in frustration at phantom pains where he was shot and that part of his leg ain't even there anymore. I can't help him and it kills me.. all I do is mollycoddled him and he hates it. But that's all I can give him, that's the only way I can help. He won't do anything for himself, won't even try the prosthetic and how can I force him? I wouldn't want to wear it either. What if I can't do this?"

Amy smiled day her, her face as kind as always "That fact that we are having this conversation means that you care enough to work it out. It's going to take time and healing but he will get there... you will get there. He will accept things in time as long as he has you"

"I don't even think he cares if I'm there or not. Just sits staring into space most of the time"

Amy Remembered all to well those early days of his last injury. The one she had nurses him through. Where he had pined for Molly.

"He used to call for you in his sleep. Even when we'd been together a few years. He still called for you, he'd wake up in a panic and reach for you. When we moved here I'd hoped it would be different but of course you were here and although I didn't realise you were _that_ Molly. Maybe I did deep down. It's the the way he looks at you, they way his hand would linger a little too long during any contact. The way he is automatically drawn to wherever you are. I have every faith that you are the one who was meant to get him through this. Just believe in yourself and your relationship and you can do anything Molly"

Molly swigged the last of her wine "Thank you. You don't know how much those words mean. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything me and Charles did"

She nodded "I still hurts I won't lie. But I love him and I want him to be happy" she choked back tears before turning away awkwardly "let's get packing then"

-OG-

It made sense to tackle her own flat at the same time considering it had taken half the time. Charles' father had collected his things with Sam and made the journey back to Bath for an evening of rugby and pizza.

Molly took much less care with her own things. Shoving only what she actually wanted into bags and boxes. The rest could go to charity.

"Molly?"

His voice sent chills down her spine.

"I don't want any trouble. I'm collecting my shit and going home"

He held his hands up to gesture he wasn't a threat. "I'm really glad I've had this chance to see you. I've wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Since that day. Molly I'm so sorry"

Her lip trembled as she remembered "well you said it now so you can piss off back to where you came from. How did you know I'd be here?"

"Where else would you be?"

This was bordering on dangerous now. He could react either way if he found out she was back in their home with Charles.

"I don't live here anymore"

It broke his heart that the brave Molly Dawes he loved was scared of him "I heard about the boss... And you. I wanted to fly out there and find you myself, couldn't sleep or anything til I knew you was safe. I'm sorry about his leg. It was inevitable though really. He'd injured it one too many times"

She remembered all of those times and urgency built inside her. "I need to get out of here" what she wanted to say was 'he needs me' but Smurf was to unpredictable to be honest with.

All this stuff could wait. Charles needed her and she was here making small with someone who thought nothing of knocking seven shades out of her.

"Do you have to go?" He held her arm as she attempted to pass.

"Yes smurf. I have to go, so do you because technically you a breaking the law being anywhere near me"

"Did you ever love me?"

The question winded her.

"Did you ever love me? Or was I just a stop gap until he came back?"

She removed his hand from her arm forcefully "Yes I did love you. But not in the way I love him, and I'll never stop"

She left him standing there rooted to the spot. It felt good to have closed the book on Smurf. Today had given her some clarity as she replayed Amy's words over in her head. Yes she could do this, so could he. They'd be okay in the end.

-OG-

Molly flung the front door open with such urgency that it was bound to leave a mark on the freshly painted wall but she didn't care. She needed to wrap herself around him, to feel him and hold him and allow herself to come apart at the seams.

She searched the sitting room before moving on to the kitchen where he stood, eyes wide with anticipation at what could be so pressing that was almost sprinting at him.

She wrapped her arms around his slender torso. Pressing her body against his until she almost melted into him. He held her equally as tightly, kissing the top of her head and holding her head against his chest. "Is something wrong?" He asked cautiously.

"No. I just really really wanted to hug you"

He smiled to himself "missed me have you?" His voice was gruff as if he might have just woken up "Every. Bleedin'. Second" she punctuated each word with a kiss before allowing her hands to move up to his face. Cupping his cheeks and taking him in.

"I love you so much Charles. My heart might burst"

He tipped her chin upwards to return some of her affection. Pressing his lips hard against hers, her tongue meeting his. He wanted her but he just wasn't ready for that kind of intimacy with his new appearance.

"Well don't do that Molly. Might gonna need you to drive me to physio, let's get walking"

She couldn't contain the smile that lit up her face. "I'm so proud of you" she almost cried, placing her hands on top of his which rested of the handles of his crutches. "Good bye sticks" he said, hopeful.

"Goodbye sticks" she repeated.

"Are you sure you're okay?" His concerned eyes bore into hers, she couldn't hold it in any longer.

This was the climax of holding everything in for the last few months. Meeting him again, Smurf, their affair and almost losing him in the jungle. How close they had both been to being goners and the finality of him losing that bloody leg.

The lack of self care everyone always told her about but she ate, slept and breathed him and making sure he was okay. That's what Molly Dawes did. She put those she loves before herself and now it was her turn to fall apart in the safety of his arms.

His gently held her as close as possible "It's okay Molly. Let it out" he knew this was an important step forward for her, she needed this blow out to start again tomorrow with the same clarity and fresh mind that he himself had found since Bones so bluntly told him to sort himself out.

They didn't move for what felt like a lifetime. Molly all the while hyper aware that he needed to sit but both of them unwilling to break away from this new found closeness. A closeness they had failed to find all those years ago whilst married. Both scared the parting now would lose it.

"S'pose we should probably get you sat down"

He accepted gratefully as she pulled a dining chair towards him, not taking his eyes off of her.

"Better?" He asked with caution, afraid to upset her once more.

"Yeah, better. Everything really hit me today"

He nodded "I have days like that too. But I always have to remind myself how lucky I am, I've got you by my side. And you've got me. Forever this time"

-OG-

 **A/n - Molly's self doubt seems to be making a reappearance..**

 **Do we think Bones and Charles could be friends? Or will he use Charles' concerns to come between them?**

 **Please review x**


	15. Chapter 15

**As always, thank you for the reviews. Please keep them coming.**

 **This is only a short one but I have already started work on the next x**

-OG-

She checked and double checked windows and doors before climbing into bed feeling completely unsettled.

"What is it?" Charles quizzed

"Nothin'... just feeling a bit paranoid that all"

She was feeling more than paranoid. She was convinced that someone was watching her, maybe even following her.

She pulled out her phone, firing off a text

" _Something ain't right here_ "

Charles noticed that she tipped the phone out of his view. She was doing that a lot lately. Having what looked to be a secret conversation with someone unknown.

He was trying not to be paranoid or to 'act up' as she sometimes called it but there was a niggling inside about it.

He was the first to admit he took his frustration out of her. Learning to walk again was hard and he still couldn't quite get the hang of it so was still stuck with those fucking crutches AND a prosthetic fucking leg which he still limped on just like the old real leg that was still causing him fucking agony as if it was actually there.

She caught the look on his face as he massaged frantically at the remaining part of his leg.

"Phantom pains again?"

He just nodded and continued to do anything to ease pain in a limb that wasn't there before getting angry and swiping the crutches across the room from where they had been propped next to the bed.

"Was there any need for that?" She said softly.

"Yes. Yes there was. I'm so fucking sick of this" he shouted.

She attempted to massage away some of the tension in his shoulders before he swiped her away.

"Oi. Wind your bleedin' neck in will ya. If I wasn't here you'd be fucked"

She cringed at her own words fully aware of the affect they'd have. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that.. I didn't mean it" but maybe she did?

He nodded and turned his back to her, visibly hurt and frustrated in equal measures. This was how most nights ended. She felt the distance that had parted them once before trying it's best to creep it's way back in.

-OG-

Learning to walk again wasn't exactly something he thought he'd be doing again at his age but here he was and he was doing and it was even harder than he'd ever anticipated. He wanted to give up. To rely on all the other walking aids he had been relying on but her beaming face at the other end of the parallel bars was enough to keep him going. All in all it was fucking humiliating.

But today had started as a surprisingly good day, mood wise. He'd even laughed a few times and shared a few jokes with the physiotherapist where he'd laughed so hard his eyes lit up, something Molly hadn't seen in a while. It was nice.

"Check you out" Molly praised as he finally made it to the end. She helped him into the wheelchair, exhausted. "I'm very slow" He panted "Its going to take time Charles. Slow and steady and all that. It will get easier I promise"

She cupped his face and watched his good mood quickly drain away. It was to be expected she thought.

"How about trying again?" It was an innocent enough question from the physio which resulted in her having her face absolutely chewed off making Milky cringe for her.

"How about fucking no" he snapped.

Molly smiled apologetically "You'll get there" she promised and it all just felt a little bit patronising.

Like he was a giant bloody toddler who needed clapping every time he hit a milestone.

Learning to walk again was absolutely bollocks.

-OG-

Once he'd got the hang of walking on robo leg as Sam called it, he still couldn't shake the fucking limp he'd had before. Different leg, same limp. Although the day he finally managed to take a walk, on robo leg without crutches - that had felt good, that had felt fantastic actually, he almost felt normal. And if he had long jeans on, then maybe people wouldn't even notice.

Charles rolled his eyes as Molly entered their home flanked by both Bones and Brains. What a combination.

"Good to see ya boss" Brains called.

Charles gave a polite nod and retreated into the sitting room. There was no way he wanted any of his former men to see him like this.

Molly followed "The lads are here to take a look at the boiler. Experts apparently"

"I'm sure there are people we can pay to do that?"

There was a warning in his eyes that she didn't miss "I'm sorry I didn't think.. and I thought you might like some company"

He laughed to himself sarcastically "You mean you wanted some company"

Brains stood defensively at the door "Mol that's definitely way beyond my capabilities..." he stopped, sending the atmosphere "Look Boss, I'm sorry this was my idea. I just really wanted to see ya. See how your doing and all that"

Charles thawed "Why don't you grab a beer from the fridge and join me"

Molly smiled to herself in the hopes that Brains could lift his mood whilst Bones discreetly upped the security in their home.

"You sure this not all a bit over board Mol?"

"I'm telling you, something ain't right. I feel like someone is watching me all the time. I don't feel safe here"

He stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on her arm "Well let's get this place ship shape then. Can't have Madame Dawes shaking in her very paranoid combat boots now can we?"

"Do you think it could be Smurf?"

"I really don't think even that little twat is stupid enough to break a restraining order again Molly. And besides, as far as he's concerned Charles is more than capable of protecting you. Even if that's not the case"

She squeezed his forearm "Thank you. For everything over these last few months"

"Anytime"

There was a squeeze of pain in his heart as returned to Charles side. He watched as she pulled him towards her, winding her fingers through his wild curls then stroking at his cheek. The look of love had always seemed like a myth to him. Now he truly could see what that was when she look at him.

He was unsure how much longer he'd be able to carry on like this. She had made it clear she was not returning to service. But he needed to see her and was happy that she was becoming more reliant on him to do the little things that Charles couldn't. But how long could he keep up the pretence that this wasn't killing him inside.

-OG-

It had seemed like he'd enjoyed himself. He'd even managed some pleasantries towards Bones which she'd found particularly strange but deemed it as progress.

But once the company had gone, so had happy Charles.

"Looks a bit swollen. I'll get your shrinkers"

His hurt expression as she rolled the sock over his stump alarmed her.

"What is it Charles?" She cupped his cheek.

He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again and closing his eyes.

"Talk to me please" she said softly, slotting her body into the crook of his arm.

"You know that despite this, I would protect you with my life. You know that don't you Molly?"

She turned to face him "Of course I do. What's brought this on?"

And it dawned on her, he had heard every word exchanged between her and Bones and the hurt in his eyes made sense.

"Charles I'm sorry. I just didn't want to burden you with anything and he offered so I just wanted to keep it from worrying you"

Charles sighed "Molly the reason why I'm working so hard with that fucking leg is to be able to do things again. Do things for you, do things round the house. Please don't undermine everything I'm working for. Especially not with that cock, I can't stand him and I don't want him here. I know you are a friends but please, no more bringing him here. It's emasculating"

She knew he was right.

"I'm sorry. I'm still learning through this too"

She straddled his lap, desperate to close to emotional gap between them if he'd let her.

"Love me Charles" she almost begged.

He pulled her face towards his, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Her body pushed towards his, she needed this. She pulled her top above her head and his hands went wild. Travelling across every curve of her body. Finally they were overcoming another one of his fears.

The fear that his new appearance would no longer be attractive to her. That the lack of a leg would repulse her but to her he was still that beautiful man who threatened to lob her off the plane on the tarmac of Brize Norton. Still the man who had wooed her without even trying. The one she threw away a promising career for. She'd do it all again just to be with him.

Their eyes bore into each other as they reached their peak and their bodies gave into the pleasure. Wrapped in each other once more like nothing had changed.

-OG-

 **Please review x**


	16. Chapter 16

**Another short one but it's setting it up for what's to come.**

 **Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. They are appreciated more than you know x**

-OG-

It had become apparent in the 15 minutes that Charles had spent in Jackie's company that she was no closer to forgiving him for hurting her friend than she had been the last time he had seen her.

"She shouldn't be long, only popped out for a bottle of wine. Or 10 knowing Molly" he attempted to joke.

She smiled sarcastically whilst eyeballing his struggle to his feet.

"I'll get us a beer"

"It's okay, you sit. I remember where the fridge is"

She excused herself and returned with 2 beers. Handing him one before taking a long sip of her own. She'd been a good friend to Molly the entire time he'd known her. A frequent visitor to their home and a bridesmaid at their wedding. And a shoulder to cry on when it all went to shit. She would never forgive him. As much a Molly made it out to be a joint decision at the time, she watched her fall apart and rebuild herself after Charles. She didn't want to have to do that again.

"I'm sorry about your leg Sir" she supposed it was the polite thing to say in the circumstances.

"Thanks Jackie. And I'm not Sir anymore. You didn't even call me sir when I was still a captain. We were friends"

"We were never friends. Molly is my friend and she might have a short memory but I don't. I might have know you'd latch on to her now your out of options"

He opened his mouth to defend himself but what could he say. He couldn't argue with the version of events that Jackie kept.

"Sorry you two, couldn't get parked"

They all exchanged a few minutes of small talk before Charles excused himself. She had done her best to make him uncomfortable and succeeded but he was happy for Molly to have some girl time. She was a rock to him and he recognised that she needed a break.

He also needed some alone time to process how he was feeling.

He could only describe the latest phase of emotions as grief. He was grieving the limb he had lost, the life he wouldn't have because of it. Grief for the ease of pulling on any old pair of trousers without wondering if they'd fit his prosthetic. Grief for being able to get up in the middle of the night without reaching for the nearest walking aid because it's too much hassle to put your leg on and you can't sleep in the sodding thing. For taking a shower comfortably without fear of falling because you can't get the stupid thing wet. A small price to pay to be alive some might say but he grieved them all the same.

Molly, his ever present, optimistic ray of sunshine tried her best to help him see the light and some days he did. But most days he didn't.

He was heavily reliant on therapy to keep him on an even keel, the same battle with ptsd raging through his brain again but this time he recognised it himself and remembered what it had cost him last time. He couldn't allow that to happen again.

He smiled to himself as the sound of Molly's girly giggles carried through the house. As long as he had her, he would be okay.

-OG-

It didn't go unnoticed that he barely left the room during Jackie's stay. Molly padded her way excitedly to their bedroom, coffee and toast in hand.

"You not feeling well or somethin'?" She quizzed him, concerned.

"I'm just tired that's all. And I wanted you to enjoy some girly time, you deserve the break"

She ran her fingers through his messy curls "I don't need a break from you ever again. I had a four year one remember... didn't like it"

He smiles because he remembers how far they have come in a short space of time. The sins of the past laid to rest, well for Molly they are. Jackie not so much.

She didn't lift her eyes from her coffee as he limped around the kitchen. The atmosphere between them thick and uncomfortable.

"Okay you two, What the fuck is going on?"

Charles stood rooted to the spot, hoping he wouldn't have to be the one to burst the bubble of Molly's weekend with her friend.

"I'm sorry Molly but I can't do this. I can't sit here and pretend I didn't piece you back together when he shagged our so called mate"

"It's my choice Jackie, it's my life and I was miserable without him"

Jackie sniggered "You'll be miserable with him and all. Look at the state of him Molly. What kind of life you gonna have now? He can't do fuck all. He ran out of options and medics to fuck and let's face it, not much of a catch now is he so here he is back with the fool that is Molly Dawes"

Charles and Molly both stood as dumbfounded as each other before he thought it best to walk away.

Molly never broke eye contact "Get out"

Jackie grabbed at her things, lucky to be walking out with her face in tact she thought as she passed her

Molly caught her by the arm "If you ever dream of making him feel like shit again... Well you ain't seen trouble yet. And let me tell you something Jackie... I'm no fool... you got that? Now fuck off"

"You deserve better than this Molly. Remember that when your losing everything and everyone for him"

Molly waited until the door slammed behind her before allowing herself to cry. She had allowed far too many people make her cry over the years. She never imagined that Jackie would be ever be added to that list.

She padded urgently through the house to find him. She needed to tend to the emotional wounds inflicted on him by someone she had thought was her friend, someone who she thought would want to see her happy again.

He sat pathetically on the side of the bed, prosthetic leg cast to one side where he'd likely thrown it in temper.

"I'm sorry..." she almost whispered. Embarrassed for him.

"Don't Molly. Don't apologise for the truth"

She rested her head against his shoulder, aching for him to take her in his arms.

"I love you Charles. That's all that matters here"

"You're losing so much to be with me Molly. Friends, career. What next?"

She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. "The only person in this world that I can't be without is you" she said sincerely.

He pulled her into his arms. His Molly, his soon to be wife, his rock and everything in between. She had chosen him despite it all. She loved him when he didn't feel worth loving and she held on when he couldn't.

He cast his mind back to the conversation with Bones. Glad that nothing had come of it. They were really free of the army now. Free to live life as they pleased and maybe it was time to start enjoying it.

He would call Bones off. She'd made her decision. She had chosen him.

-OG-

"So what was so bleedin' urgent that it couldn't wait til tomorrow or couldn't be said over text message?"

She threw herself heavily into the seat opposite Bones, grateful for the tea he'd had ready and waiting for her.

"I've got something of interest. I need a medic. A top notch medic and I know that you're on the way out but this is only something small. Small but very very interesting"

Molly rolled her eyes "How many times have I got to tell you I'm not interested? I'm not leaving Charles"

Bones cut her off "There's kids involved Molly. Please. I wouldn't ask if I didn't need you. Spanner and Peanut have already started with the ground work. These kids need us"

He knew he was playing to her weakness.

"If you do this for me, I give you my word I will never ask anything of you again. And I'll service your boiler anytime"

She giggled as he smirked "I'll need to speak to Charles and his parents. I'm not saying yes..."

"But you haven't said no so I'll take it and run"

She liked it when he looked this happy "You should smile more... suits you more than that hard face you like go put on"

He stood up to make his exit.

"Ditto Dawes"

She smiled to herself. Already filled with excitement at the prospect of a final mission. Charles would understand, after all he'd encouraged her not to leave the army in the first place.

She drained the last of her tea, pulling out her phone to respond the beeping that vibrated in her pocket.

":)"

Not from Charles as expected but from Bones.

" _Never had you down as an emoji kind of guy... and I haven't said yes yet"_

He watched from the window as she smiled at their interaction. Was she warming to him? He felt something in the way she was with him. Something had shifted on her part.

" _Didn't have too.._

 _can tell by the silly smile on your face"_

She looked up quick enough to see him depart laughing to himself. He was right. She didn't have to say anything. She was 100% on board.

She had thought hard about what Jackie had said. She was losing an awful lot. She didn't resent him, all of this had been her own choice. The feeling of nearly losing him in that jungle, the fear she felt watching the life trickle out of him and the sound of him crying in pain had been a big enough wake up call for her to know she was where she needed to be. But one last mission wouldn't hurt. Would it?

-OG-

 **Thoughts on Molly & Bones? Have her feelings changed or has she simply just let him in as a friend? Is she doing the right thing taking on a last mission? Let me know what you think x**

 **P.s. Still working away on the iPhone so please excuse any typos x**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N - apologies in advance if I've missed any typos (Iphone life. Actually missing my computer at work *not*)**

 **Thank you for the reviews on the previous chapter. Very appreciated.. hope you enjoy this one x**

-OG-

Charles wasn't sure if he'd become so good at hiding his emotions that his face was completely void of any when she dropped the bombshell or wether she was so excited she had completely missed his heart break into millions of tiny pieces at the thought of her going. After all he'd been the one to who was adamant she should make her own choice in regards to her career. And now she'd made it and it hurt.

"So I'll organise everything with your mum. We can lock the place up and you can go back there temporarily"

He nodded in agreement to whatever it was she was saying desperately trying to keep the panic at bay.

There wouldn't even be any time to get his head around it because she was leaving in 3 days. 3 bloody days.

He felt foolish for thinking he could watch her go. It brought him back to the times when she had begged him not to leave and he did it anyway. He deserved this. Karma was well and truly letting him have it for all of his fuck ups.

Charles' parents had taken the news a lot worse than Charles had appeared too.

"This is absurd Molly. Leaving now when he needs you the most? I just can't believe it. All the mistake of the past are happening all over again. He's pushing you away and you're putting the army first"

Beth sat with her head in her hands "He needs you Molly. He's no where near ready for this. Physically, mentally or emotionally" she pleaded.

"It ain't like it was last time. It's only a really short mission. We've got to extract some kids and then I'll be home again. That's me done in the army, this is my final job"

Beth shook her head "If you believe that Molly then you'll believe anything"

If Molly was honest she hadn't expected it to go down well, But this was something else. Charles was barely speaking to her. Or at all actually. He was jealous, something that used to turn her on. It was like proof of his feelings for her but she didn't need that kind of validation of his feelings anymore. Now it just stung to see him hurting.

"I'm not doing this because I want to be away from you. I just really need to help them kids. They are just kids Charles"

He kissed every inch of the back of her hand before pulling her to stand between his legs.

"I know. And I would never stand in your way"

She kissed the top of his head, tilting his chin so she could look into his eyes.

"You're sad" she could feel tears burning in the back of her eyes "I never want to make you sad"

She wrapped her tiny body around his. Unsure why she was going ahead with this.

"I'll be fine. You just concentrate on being brilliant and come back to me"

He laced his fingers between hers. An urgency rising inside him to be as close as possible. His large hand pulled her face towards his, she loved how his hand enveloped her whole face. They kissed with love and passion and sheer need for the closeness that it brought them.

He still felt self conscious as she helped him pull off his trousers but she always found a way to push that from his mind.

"Still the most perfectly handsome man I've ever seen" she panted between kisses.

He'd never held her so tightly, reinforcing her sadness at leaving him "You'll be alright won't you?"

"Stop talking" He demanded, pulling off her clothes. Charles covered her mouth with his lips, wanting her tongue to do nothing more than kiss him. This was the way they lost themselves in each other. This was how they always made everything right between them. How gaps were bridges and troubles were solved. This was how they showed how deep their love was.

-OG-

"If it feels wrong then it probably is"

"Cheers for that nan" Molly sighed

"Well you say your 'appy about it. Ya face needs to catch up with that then"

The closer it came to the day the worse she felt but there was no backing out now. He looked sad and withdrawn and she felt guilty that she was the cause of it.

"You will visit him while I'm gone won't you nan?"

"You know I will... although don't think it's my boat he wants to see Molly. It's yours. But I do think you need to do this.. for you, you still have to live life"

She sat with her head in her hands, conflicted. A day away from Charles to say bye to the family was exactly what she thought she needed to clear her head but it had made things 10 times worse. She missed him and not a minute went by that she wasn't wondering if he was okay? Was he managing? Was he in pain?

It _was_ too soon for her to be leaving, she accepted that and if she was honest with herself she'd never really forgive herself for it but she _needed_ this.

He was still adjusting to the leg and in intensive physio and therapy. His parents would have to step up to the mark, even just temporarily.

She said reluctant good byes to her family. Belinda hadn't been a bit surprised to hear she was off again and didn't support it "you should be at home with ya fella. At least just for now"

But the constant back and forth emailing and texting with Bones was exciting her. She began to doubt that it was even the mission she was looking forward or was it spending time with him? Scott as she called him, her friend. He'd been her friend when her and Charles were still nothing more than ex husband and wife. She knew he had feelings. And she liked it.

She had no intention of allowing anything to happen. Charles had her heart, he always would. She was willing to die with him in that jungle. But the sparkle in Charles eye had been extinguished lately and she wanted nothing more than for him to get it back.

The missing him quickly turning into an ache so she put her foot down, cutting as many precious minutes off her drive home as possible. Desperate to be back with him. They had few precious hours left.

The smell of her favourite dinner and her kit packed and waiting by the door met her as she arrived home.

"Been missing me have you?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist as he chopped a salad. "This all looks amazing"

He turned to face her "I wanted to do something special on our last night for a little while. This fucking thing hinders me but... we have a dinner. And your kit is ready. Checked and double checked and has a Captains seal of approval"

She kissed him wildly, guilt and sadness once again setting in the pit of her stomach.

"I love you" she cried. Actual tears she loved him that much.

He wiped them away with his thumb before caressing her face "I love you too. So fucking much"

He eyes mirrored the sadness she felt. Doubts now turning to panic. She couldn't go. She couldn't leave him.

She watched him limp carefully, still a little unsteady. His face etched with pain with every step.

"Let me finish. Please sit down"

He sat down gratefully. The ache in his thigh and the phantom pains were sickening but he'd wanted to do this for her. It was all he could offer right now.

They ate and laughed and buried their anxieties. She had to do what she had to do. Both accepted that. Neither happy about it.

"Please don't over do it while I'm gone. I don't need to come home to miracles. I don't need you to be anything other than what you are now. Just stay well, take it slow. Day by day"

He nodded in agreement. His earlier plan of being more 'able' for when she came home on the back burner. He couldn't even cook a meal without excruciating pain. It didn't matter though. She loved him as he was and proved it day in day out. It was little things. She didn't flinch at the sight of his stump. She still rested her hand on what was left of his leg, and massaged and comforted without even realising. PTSD was very much part of his life again. But he managed because of her, he managed for her.

-OG-

Molly remembered this feeling well. She had felt it every single time one of them had gone off on a tour. A knot in the pit of her stomach but this time it reached her chest. Constricting her heart so she could barely breathe.

"Why am I doing this?" She panicked.

"Because you are kind and caring and brilliant" Charles reassured even though he was falling apart inside. Fear this could be the beginning of the end for them again. They didn't do well when apart.

"You need me"

He nodded "I need you to be happy. And if this is it, then I support you. I'm 100% by your side. And remember I'm only a call away. Or an email. Day or night I'll be ready for you. Stay focused. Stay alert. Stay alive"

"Look after yourself. Do your physio and keep talking. I'll be checking"

"I will. And you look after yourself. And always remember how much I love you"

He pulled a long cord from him pocket, her delicate diamond ring hanging from the end of it.

She lifted her plait gratefully and allowed him slip it over her head and tuck it into her top.

"Perfect length, so it sits on your heart" he smiled, placing his own matching cord around his own neck.

"When I get back, its time for them to go back on our fingers for real. And forever this time"

They clung to each other until he couldn't stand any longer.

Bones made his presence felt, letting them know it was time to go. He moved forward, extending his hand to Charles. A knowing look exchanged between the two of them, he'd done as Charles had asked.

"Take care of her. Not that she needs it. But do it anyway" Charles said as they shook hands.

"With my life. You have my word James. Take care of yourself"

Molly hugged his torso tightly, needing physical contact one last time. They rained kissed onto each other before she walked away. Neither of them able to say another word.

-OG-

She couldn't shake the feeling in her gut as she stood on the tarmac of Brize Norton. This didn't feel right.

She fell into easy banter with Bones and the rest of the lads. They even managed a conversation about Elvis without her clamming up and crying.

Conversation settled her nerves. She could do this, this is what she was made for.

Bones hung his arm over her shoulder as they took their seats.

"Never had you down as a crier Dawes..." he smirked.

"You'll be crying in a minute if you don't stop touching me"

The smile she gave him lit up her eyes, igniting something within him.

"Nothing I love more than a touchy medic on a long flight"

She wiped away the last of the tears from her eyes. There was no going back now. Charles would be okay, and so would she.

 **A/N- I absolutely hate the use of the word "stump" when referring to a residual limb. To avoid confusion I have used it anyway, as much as it has annoyed me to do so. We simply call it a bad leg in our house.**

 **Please R &R x**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - thank you so much for the reviews on the previous chapter x**

-OG-

 **Molly**

Everything about this mission. From the second I stepped onto the tarmac at Brize has been a disaster.

Smurf. Fucking Smurf and his platoon of fellow twats have been drafted in as support because it went tits up the second we got here. The fact that the restraining order had expired ruined any chance of me being taken off the team.

Signal is also patchy at best here in the back arse of nowhere somewhere in Bangladesh so I haven't been able to talk to my Charles as much as I was hoping. And I have plenty of time on my hands for over thinking and missing him.

He seems sad but promises he's doing okay and is working hard and I have to believe that even though I can see in his eyes he's lying to me.

What was meant to be a couple of weeks has turned into a month already with no sign of things being resolved as Bones struggles to gather the intel he needs to wrap this thing up.

We've got on well me and Bones, despite the fact that he looks at me like he wants to have me for dinner and has offered himself up more times than I care to remember and I hate to admit that it doesn't piss me off as much as I thought it would. It does however make me miss Charles even more. I miss his arms around me and watching his facial expressions as he gets lost in his favourite book. The way his skin feels against mine and the way I'm the only who can touch his bad leg without him flinching. I miss the intimacy we share. The love and friendship between us. If being here has done nothing for me so far, It has at least shown me that life on tour isn't for me anymore but I don't want to leave the army entirely. My body aches for the familiarity of home and him.

-OG-

Molly tossed her phone onto the table more violently than intended. She had searched everywhere for WiFi. Her heart aching for Charles. She settled into a grotty bar, willing him to pick up.

"Didn't your father ever tell you that pretty girls, alone in foreign bars usually spells trouble?"

Molly laughed "My Dad was too pissed up my whole existence to teach me anything except how _not_ to live my life"

Bones smiled at her sadly "well, still a valuable lesson even if it was the only one he ever taught you. You've done well for yourself"

She threw the phone again in frustration and not getting Charles.

"He's probably at physio or boring that son of his to death. Have a glass of wine with me and try him again shortly will you? Can't have my medic stressed. Need you on top form"

One glass turned into several, the easy banter between them heightened by lost inhibitions "I'm pissed as a newt" she announced with slurred speech "and I'm pretty sure the Brig is gonna hang you by your little nuts for this" she giggled "and me and all. I should go"

Bones placed his hand gently on her arm "I think we both know I've got you covered when it comes to the Brig. And enough of the little... There is nothing inadequate about my nuts"

Molly laughed hysterically "I bet if I had nuts, they'd still be bigger than yours..."

He met her eyes which were full of mischief underneath a blanket of long, dark eyelashes. Beautiful and sparkling in the dim light of the bar.

She was so beautiful, kind and funny and like no one he had ever met before. He picked up her small hand in the pretence of studying her small fingers. Relieved she didn't pull away.

"How do you get anything done with those.. little sausages"

The joke was lost on her "Scott... don't" she protested his touch but her voice lacked conviction.

Her phone flashed, Charles handsome face lighting up the screen sending a surge of excitement through her.

She accepted the call and turned herself away from Bones. His heart sinking once again.

She caught his expression in the mirror.

"I've got really bad signal Charles, I'll call you back"

She cut the call turning to face him "You've got to stop this" he plonked another glass of wine in front of her. Charles and their conversation and the longing she had in her belly for him soon forgotten.

-OG-

Charles panicked when he saw her missed calls. It had been days since he'd heard from her and every day that passed made his chest a little tighter with anxiety.

He was doing everything she asked. Working hard in physio and attending his counselling sessions, even staying with his parents so she didn't worry about him being home alone. He suffered agonising pain which he found difficult to manage and he yearned for her touch and the way she held him and distracted him from it and always managed to make him feel better but he wouldn't burden her with that.

He was delighted to see her pretty face and hear her voice. His anxiety was instantly settled. She looked well and happy and he knew she was safe, what more could he ask for?

He could barely contain his disappointment at her abruptly ended call and almost counted down the minutes until she would call back like she said she would. He waited and he waited.

-OG-

Molly knocked back another glass of wine. Carefree and easy, she hadn't had this much fun in ages.

"So tell me Molly. What exactly do you see in Captain Boring?" Bones asked.

"Do you know what ... Scott. He's not actually boring" She hiccuped. "He was the first bloke to ever believe in me.. he helped me see my potential. He's fucking fit too. And he's got a big..."

"Woah... okay Dawes. I get the picture"

"I was gonna say he's got a big heart.. you dirty bugger"

She climbed to her feet, swaying unsteadily.

Bones felt that familiar pang of jealousy as she expressed her feelings for Charles. The guy who had always got everything he wanted. From the sword of honour to the girl.

"We'd best get you back to camp. And keep your gob shut, the last thing we need is pisshead added to you record"

He placed his hand on the small of her back. A place where Charles always protectively placed his which she loved because it made her feel safe and sent what felt little jolts of electricity up her spine.

Bones pulled her close to him "steady on Dawes"

She felt like she was floating as the made the journey back to base. The humid night air doing little for the wine headache she was already developing.

"Thanks for today. I haven't laughed like that in ages"

She ignored Charles' incoming call, pushing the phone into her back pocket.

"Glad to be of service" he smiled back at her.

"I must say _Sir_ you are a top notch CO. Might even be my favourite" she giggled.

"Oh that is a bold statement Dawes. Even above the mighty Captain James?" She couldn't help but notice the hint of something in his eyes every time he mentioned Charles.

"Why do you hate him so much?" She propped herself against to door frame of her cabin to steady herself.

"I don't hate him. Just don't like some of his ways. And the way he treats you"

Molly raised an eyebrow "what do you mean by that?"

"He pushed me into bringing you out here. Like some kind of test of your loyalty"

Molly swallowed hard "Nah he wouldn't. He wanted me to stay with him"

Bones cut her off "He asked me awhile ago. And here we are. Not sure if you passed or failed by coming here. But I'm really glad you did"

He stepped forward, testing the waters. His thumb gently running across her cheek bone... she didn't flinch. Just gazed at him with those beautiful green orbs of mischief. He lowered his head gently brushing his lips across hers, still testing his luck.

She responded, her tongue searching for his, pulling him inside her cabin.

"Molly" He panted as their mouths crashed together with urgency. He'd waited so long for this. To give in to his love for her and this was worth the wait. Her kisses felt like heaven.

-OG-

 **A/N- Please don't hate me... lol**

 **Biting my nails over how this one might go down eeek.**

 **Why has she given in to Bones? Let me know what you think... x**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N- I'm absolutely over the moon with the reaction to the previous chapter. Good and the bad, it definitely got a passionate reaction and that's why I love writing these stories. Thank you & please continue to let me know what your thinking x**

-OG-

He tugged at her jeans, her phone was still vibrating in her back pocket. His lips began to trail from her mouth, downwards. She pushed his shirt off of his shoulders as he went in for more, his lips finding the sweet spot behind her ear. The spot she had only ever allowed Charles to kiss.

She stopped dead "what the fuck am I doing?" She cried.

"Molly.. I thought this was what you wanted?"

She began to cry hysterically "No... I want Charles. I love Charles. Get out"

Bones adjusted his jeans "Molly I'm in love with you. This isn't just sex for me" he traced his thumb around the outline of her red, kiss plumped lips "I can make you happy. We don't have to do this today, we can wait til we get home. I'll even wait until you sort things with James" he pleaded.

"I love him" she sobbed. And the look in her eyes told him she truly meant it. She had proved time and time again what she was willing to lose for Charles, if the events of the jungle didn't prove it to Bone. The look in her eye right now did.

"Then I guess there's nothing left to say"

Bones hesitated as he made for the door "Do you feel anything for me at all? Or is this just because you miss him?"

Molly couldn't look at him. What could she say to that? She couldn't tell him she didn't feel the same after what she had just done. She didn't want to hurt him, he didn't deserve it.

"I miss him more than you could ever know" she wept.

His expression was pained as he walked away, slamming the door behind him.

She slid down the wall to sit exactly where she had just been standing. Where her body had been pressed against a man who was not her own. Who was not her Charles. Her hands had been all over another man. A man Charles hated.

She felt guilt and fear and anger although she knew she had no right to feel angry with him. He would have done this out of love and fear of losing her.

His face flashed across her screen once again but she couldn't answer. Molly Dawes, queen of self sabotage strikes again.

Charles panicked as his calls repeatedly went unanswered. Worried something had happened to her, maybe they'd come into trouble?

-OG-

He contacted anyone he could think of who could possibly give him info. The nature of Special Forces meaning it was highly unlikely to be successful.. that was until he got into conversation with an old friend who also was no fan of Bones, leading to the revelation that Bones was stringing this mission out for as long as he could.

He was keeping Molly away from him. She was ignoring him. Were they in it together?

Molly did the only thing Molly Dawes of past knew how to do at the first sign of trouble - she withdrew. Molly James had overcome that character flaw but she had regressed back into that lost girl who seeked a thrill only for a moment. Until it felt wrong. It felt worse than wrong. Her love for Charles very much back at the forefront of her mind where it belonged. It didn't move on to sex because all she could see was Charles still. She could only make love to him. Making love and sex being two different things she had realised since she met him.

She felt that familiar feeling of someone watching her, even out here away from their home. She could feel eyes on her back, watching her every move. No Charles to make her feel safe. She slammed the door after scanning around her, no one was there. Her guilty conscience probably working overtime she decided.

She cancelled another incoming call, unable to face him. A guilty conscience was something that never sat well with her. She had felt so betrayed by Charles and Georgie even though technically they had parted at the time but here she was, his ring burning against the skin on her chest, her lips swollen from kissing someone else and a man who very much needed her, desperately trying to reach her.

-OG-

She woken with a start, haunted by Charles' cries from the bridge. She'd been unfortunate enough to have to hear them again in the jungle and they had haunted her dreams every night since.

How could she have got it so wrong? There were no feelings for Bones apart from those of admiration for the wonderful friend he had been to her over the years and the more than inspirational Captain he was to their team. Bones who had a tough as nails persona was actually soft as shit when it came to his team.. when it came to her. She had used him to try and fill a hole left by missing Charles. She'd hurt both of them and Charles didn't even know yet.

His texts became increasingly frantic but she couldn't bring herself to face him. Not yet anyway.

"Kit up Dawes. It's time" Spanner said anxiously from the doorway.

This was it. This is what they were her for and hopefully this would mean they'd be going home so she could hold him and piece herself back together.

-OG-

Molly fought back the anxiety that consumed her.

"Somethings not right here Boss"

They'd returned to the strict formalities expected of them. Ones she wished she had stuck to all along. Guilt consumed her every day since she crossed that line. Molly Dawes, queen of acting first and thinking later.

Their eyes had been well and truly off the prize until now. Intel had been missed, opportunities to get what they came for lost because they'd both allowed personal into the battlefield.

It took seconds for it to go tits up. Ambushed and out numbered they found themselves in the middle of a situation none of them had been prepared for. Special forces well and truly in the shit.

-OG-

"You should be careful James. Look at that thing much more and you'll go cross eyed"

His phone hadn't left his hand or his sight since the moment he'd sat down patiently waiting for his old friend and CO.

"Beck. Good to see you. It's been far too long"

Charles stood to greet him, wobbly and a little light headed. His good leg now had become so painful from the strain he'd resorted back to relying on a crutch. He hated it.

"You too. I was so sad to hear about what happened Charles. I'm truly so sorry"

Beck noted his sweaty, clammy face and unsteadiness "You should have let me come to you"

"Needed the break if I'm honest. Things have been tough"

Charles filled him in on the difficult rehab and his therapy and Molly being away and seemingly off the radar. It had been a week since he'd heard from her for that split second.

He couldn't concentrate. Anxiety ate away at the pit of his stomach. He couldn't face counselling or rehab and there wouldn't be any helping him until he heard her voice and he knew she was okay.

He felt anxious and unwell which didn't go unnoticed by his long time friend and former CO.

"I'll see what I can do about getting in contact with Molly. Or at least finding out when they'll be wrapping up. You know McClyde, hangs off daddy's coat tails and gets away with murder. But do try remember that her next of kin, whoever that may be would have heard if something had happened"

Beck did little to ease Charles' worries but assured him he would get whatever info he could on the mission.

His constricted heart that felt like it was in a vice like grip that was beating 20 times faster than it was meant now slowed a little. Beck wouldn't let him down, he would get him the answers he needed.

-OG-

Molly sat with her head in her hands. This wasn't the first time someone had ended up with their life hanging in the balance because she had fucked up. Yet here she was again.

He'd taken a bullet for her. Several actually.

Bones who she'd rejected, put her life before his own and now he could die.

"You should get some rest" Spanner suggested cautiously "And maybe get in contact with Charles.. he's been worried. Said you haven't made contact for some time?"

Charles who she had betrayed with the man who lay before her. She could just imagine the pain in his face if he found out. He already felt inadequate since losing his leg. It had emasculated him but it made had no difference to her. She still found him funny and handsome and brilliant and loving and he still made her stomach do the funny twisty thing the same as it did the day she met him and he threatened to lob her off the plane. It had taken this indiscretion to remind her of that. Sometimes she needed a kick up the backside and she'd had it.

"He sounded distraught Mol and I think you need to remember where your loyalty lies. I'm sorry if I'm overstepping but Bones isn't your problem, Charlie is"

She swallowed back tears "I'll call him" but she didn't. Stupidly consumed by her own guilt, not knowing the damage her secret and actions since were already doing. Her actions didn't mirror the way she felt in her heart for Charles, only her anxious, guilty mind. Guilty for hurting Charles and Bones. More guilt for Bones being hit by bullets that had been aimed for her. She couldn't leave him now.

Her phone lit up once more, it was Beth. This was sure to lead to a bollocking so she declined the call once again, turning it off.

Days passed and she never left his side. She didn't even know why she was still there. She didn't love him, she didn't want to be with him but the pull was still there. She couldn't explain it.

"You really are a dickhead" she muttered. She didn't want him to wake up to an empty room, no one deserved that. Especially not him.

"Dawes. You're still here?" The Brig as shocked to see her and she was him.

"Yes sir" She saluted

"At ease Dawes"

She gave him room to take in the sight of his son

"He's really fucked up this time"

She tried to swallow back the lump in her throat "With all due respect Sir. It wasn't his fault"

"I don't want to hear it Dawes. And I'd have thought you'd have been requesting the first flight out of here considering your circumstances at home"

Her stomach dropped "Sir?"

"Charles has been taken ill. He was visiting Beck and well let's just say things took a turn. I suspect the fact your CO is in a coma with bullet wounds is why the message has been lost along the chain. I did tell him before you went out on ops that day"

She stood dumbfounded. All the phone calls, they had been trying to tell her.

"He can't be ill, he was doing so well"

"I suggest Dawes, that you get yourself home. Have Spanner make the appropriate arrangements. Get home to Charles, the one you broke all manner of rules for. Still trying to cover up that holy fucking show you and Lane created in the jungle. I got word from Beck that you were off grid and once again I'm covering up for you and my incompetent son. Go home Dawes"

"I'm sorry Sir"

He cut her off "Don't want to hear it Dawes. You are a thorn in Scott's side. Dismissed"

She took one last look at Bones. He had kept it from here. She realised she had been the undoing of him as Georgie was to Charles.

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she frantically tried to return Beth's calls. No answer.

She almost pulled Spanner from the chair he was resting in, keeping in close proximity to his beloved boss.

"I need you to get me home ASAP".

-OG-

"Molly?" Charles called her name like he always did as he woke from a hazy sleep.

"Not yet Boss" the familiar Manchester drawl pricked his attention.

"Georgie?" He said confused. He had to be dreaming.

"Yep it's me. And I know you probably still don't want to see me. But I work here and you were brought in. I can request a different Health Care assistant look after you but we're short staffed"

His heart sank "How on earth are you here?"

"I work here now. Had to do something didn't I?"

He let his head flop back onto the pillow, completely exhausted.

"So what was you doing up in Manchester? And by yourself? Where's Mol?"

The last thing he remembered was feeling unwell whilst having a drink with Beck. He'd put it down to drinking on the combination of meds he was taking and made mental note not to do it again. Then everything went black.

"Why am I here?" He croaked "You've got recurring sepsis. It happens quite often that people are admitted again after the initial bout. You've been really quite poorly and out of it"

Despite how their friendship had ended he was glad to wake up to a friendly face.

"Has Molly been?"

"Not that I've seen. But I was off when you first came in. You've been in a few days already. This is my first time looking after you"

She stretched out her arm, hesitant at touching him in case he still hates her but was relieved when he allowed her to continue. He was too sick to argue or care and too disappointed that Molly still hadn't come back to him.

Georgie mopped away the sweat that had formed across his forehead "You've still got a fever"

He closed his eyes wishing for Molly. Hoping that by some miracle she'd be there soon.

Something bad gone wrong. He feared she had changed her mind about loving him, that maybe the life that he now faced as an amputee was too much for her.

He'd stopped caring for himself as soon as the fear set in. Life felt pointless if she wasn't in it.

-OG-

"It's about time you showed up" Beth spat coldly, completely out of character for her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. Bones has been.. he might die"

Beth struggled to feel any sympathy for either Molly or Bones.

"Yes and so might Charles. He's got sepsis for Christ sake"

Molly stood at the window reminiscent of a time all those years ago when he'd been so badly wounded in Afghanistan. That was her fault too.

He looked peaceful despite his poor colouring. He was thinner than when she'd left him too. His hair was also unruly - it was always a sign that he wasn't quite feeling himself when he allowed his curls to grow beyond regulation length.

"Can I go in?" She whispered cautiously.

"He needs to rest. It's been a tough few days. He's on heavy medication and even heavier pain relief.

She let herself in anyway. The urge to be near to him carrying her body forward.

She took his cold hand into hers "I'm home now baby. I'm sorry I ever left you"

He squeezed her hand in return, letting her know that he felt her presence. But too sick to wake up and enjoy it.

The image of Bones kissing her wouldn't leave her mind. Same as the image of him protecting her from enemy gun fire.

Her as the medic had been the target for reasons unknown. She dread to think what they actually had planned for her but he'd kept her safe. It hadn't been about saving kids for Bones anymore, it had become about protecting Molly and proving his love for her in the hopes that she would feel the same way too.


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm so sorry this has taken to long. RL is pretty hectic & I think I lost my writing mojo due to the stress of it all. **

**As always thank you for the reviews & PM's, they are so appreciated. Please continue to let me know what you think of this chapter and how you would like to see this go? X**

-OG-

There was something to fight for now she was back. He could feel her and hear her voice as he slept and willed his own body to fight. He listened happily at the banter and teasing between her and Sam. If Sam was here then he must really be in a bad way, Rebecca was still a sticky cow when it came to disrupting their routine.

Days passed and all he did was sleep. She missed him even though he was right there in front of her. So close yet so far.

She wished she could erase her mind. Erase the feeling of Bones' lips on hers. Erase the flutters of something unknown she felt when she thought of him. Erase that whole bloody tour.

She knew she was being distant. She couldn't help it. Guilt never was something that sat well with her. She battled her own mind constantly and it reflected in her face, noticed by everyone.

The fear of losing him ate away at her. How could she have left him when he needed her so badly?

All the while the thought of Bones' hands on her body never left her. She struggled to come to terms with how she'd let it happen.

-OG-

"Hey you" she said with a kiss as his eyes flickered open "god I've missed you" she laced her fingers between his "How you feeling?"

He cleared his throat "Like I've been hit by a bus"

Molly poured him a drink and brought the straw up to his mouth "I'm not an invalid Molly" he snapped

"I know. Sorry, just trying to make you comfortable"

"Where were you?" He went straight in for the kill "what happened that day? You never got back to me?"

She stood by the head of his bed, taking herself out of his eye-line making herself busy stroking his unruly curls, pulling them out and watching them ping back into shape "Don't worry about any of that. Just get better so we can get you home again"

He knew something wasn't right. It was written all over her face "Molly please"

"Stop it" she said a little more firmly than she intended even making the nurse who was checking his chart jump "Are you Okay Charles?" The nurse checked with a disapproving look in Molly directions.

"I could do with some painkillers please. The phantom pain in my leg is awful"

"Have you been doing your rehab?"

He threw his head back, this was not what he needed "Stop making small talk! Just tell me what happened"

"Now listen to me Charles. Stop banging on, maybe you should tell me what your doing stuck in a hospital up here? Why were you in Manchester? To see _her_ was it? And why was you travelling by yourself? You know you're not able to do that"

The look on his face told her she'd hurt him. By presuming to tell him what he was or wasn't able to do she had hurt him. Made him feel useless.

"You don't know what I can and cannot do Molly. You haven't been here to know any of that"

"I'd like you to give Mr James some time to rest please" the nurse intervened and he didn't protest it.

Charles could see in her eyes something wasn't right. She wasn't ready to share it yet. Whatever had happened out there but she would in time.

"Get some rest and settle back in. Then come back to me" he took her hand in his "I love you"

She gave him a small smile "I love you too"

Her thoughts turned to Bones as she rushed through the hospital corridor. She pushed the phone to her ear, hoping whoever was with him would pick up

"Spanner, is that you? How's he doing?... Birmingham? I'll see you in a couple of hours"

She rushed passed Georgie without even noticing her. Something Georgie was glad about.

"Hey. I just saw Mol. Is everything okay?"

Charles didn't answer "I'm not in the mood for this today Georgie"

She had a brief conversation with the nurse who seemed concerned about him.

"Well I'm on shift now, so unless you wish to make a complaint which would result in me losing _another_ job then your stuck with me"

She checked his stats wearing the same concerned gave as the nurse just had.

"We need to up your antibiotics today. You're probably going to feel extra ropey"

He shrugged. He didn't care. Things weren't right with Molly and that's all that consumed his mind.

"Everything will be alright you know"

Georgie had seen him in this place before. It was the start of him spiralling.

"I think she's come home feeling different... About me, about my situation. Maybe she realised it's not for her after all"

Georgie gave him a sad smile "I know Molly, and she loves you. She'd never leave you. You've worked too hard to come back together"

He sighed "I did something really fucking stupid"

"Oh? Care to share?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I... I more or less pushed her towards Bones and staying in the army. I wanted her to make the right choice for her, not the right choice for me. And now it feels like I've lost her. Maybe to him"

Georgie shook her head "You haven't lost her. I can promise you that. This is going to be a hard adjustment for both of you to make. It's a new life essentially isn't it? Give yourselves some time and some credit for how far you've come. And remember you're in it together, that's the most important thing. Don't play games Charlie, your better than that"

"When did you become so sensible?"

"Once it was too bloody late that's when" Georgie laughed "But I don't regret anything about the jungle. We got you back just in time and that's all that matters. I'd do it again if it meant saving you, I'm just sorry for everything else a long the way that lead to it, and to this" she gestured towards his missing leg, tears filled her eyes. This was all a painful reminder.

"I don't blame you anymore. I'm sorry I did in the first place because it wasn't your fault I stepped on that bloody trap"

Georgie smiled at him "Thank you. That really means a lot. Now get some rest and let the medication kick in, they've upped your pain relief so you'll be flying soon enough"

He gave a pained expression whilst he tried to get comfortable sending another pang of sadness through Georgie's heart. Elvis would hate to see Charlie like this, she thought.

-OG-

There was something about the halls of this particular hospital that sent shivers through Molly's spine. Maybe it was because she'd spend so many hours here before. This was the place where he'd fought for his life the first time. The image of him being wheeled back from emergency surgery was one she had struggled to erase from her mind.

Sheepishly she crept closer to where she knew Bones would be. She had to see for herself that he was still alive and kicking.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Fingers? I... I just came to see the boss. What you doing here?"

Fingers raised an eyebrow, she knew he didn't buy it "Thought I'd pay the big man a visit, he's been decent to me over the years. I thought you'd have been with the boss? How's he doing?"

Molly struggled to keep herself together "He's not to good if I'm honest"

Fingers didn't miss the shakiness in her voice "So what you doing here then?"

She was asking herself the same question "I'm visiting the boss and then I'm going straight back"

"Hmm. I know you Molly. You'd never leave his side for anyone"

This was the last thing she needed. Fingers poking his nose in where it wasn't wanted, spreading gossip and lies about their marriage.

"I'll catch you later yeah? I need that chat with the boss"

She pushed passed him closing the door tightly behind her.

His bandaged torso gave her de ja vu. She was pretty sure this was even the same room that Charles has occupied. Where he's held her hand and told her they didn't have to wait out any longer.

She pushed those thoughts away.

"Molly?" He barely choked out her name

"Ssh it's alright. Stay calm I'll get a nurse"

She stood back, letting them work. He never took his eyes off her.

There was something familiar about the way he looked at her. His eyes held the same love as Charles' did.

"Well you're a prettier sight than waking up to my dad that's for sure" he joked when the nurse left.

She cringed. She shouldn't be here.

"I've just popped by to see how your doing. Was worried"

He held out his hand "Please hold me"

She shook her head "No boss. I can't. I'm sorry for what happened. It should never... it will never happen again"

She noted his increasing heart rate on the monitors.

"I'd better go. But please can I ask you one thing?"

He cringed at the agony she caused in his heart "Don't tell James?"

She felt like the worst in the world. Being deceitful wasn't something that was in her nature.

"I can't hurt him" she pleaded

"But you can hurt me?"

She could hurt if it meant not hurting Charles. But she didn't want too, this was killing her.

"I'm sorry Scott. Really sorry"

She held his gaze for a minute "Long way to come to ask me to keep my mouth shut Dawes. You must feel something?"

Molly took a deep breath. This definitely was not one of her finer moments in life. Letting down a man when she had played some part in his growing feelings for her, whilst he lay so injured.

"I thought I did. But it's only ever been him. And it will always only be him"

He nodded knowingly "I'm sorry for keeping it from you.. that he was ill"

"It's okay. We've both crossed lines. We need to go our separate ways, for good this time. I'm leaving the army"

He stayed silent. The long, painful goodbye was killing him.

"Bye Scott"

He yearned to shout that she couldn't leave him here, that she belonged with him but this battle was lost. He'd never really been in the race to begin with and he knew that.

Watching her go hurt him more than any gun shot wound ever could.

-OG-

The journey back to Charles had given Molly the time she needed to process everything. To try and come to terms with her wrong doings. There was no need to break his heart she knew that much. Especially not now when he was still so fragile.

His peaceful face as he slept melted her heart. His colour was better than when she's last seen him.

He woke with a start as she stroked his face.

"You came back" he brought her hand to his lips, kissing it like it might disappear.

"Of course I did. I love you, I'll always come back"

She cupped his face, gazing at him. Almost nose to nose. This was exactly where she needed to be and she would make it up to him. Her indiscretion and leaving him when he needed her most. She would make it all better.

He broke the moment between them "As much as I've missed gazing into your pretty eyes, I really need to sit up"

She kissed him then raised the bed for him.

"As you know, I'm not a hearts and flowers kind of girl but... I brought coffee and chocolate. My gifts to you. Decent stuff as well, not that crap from the hospital shop"

He smiled at the gesture "Thank you"

This was the Molly who'd gone away. Loving and affectionate. The one who he'd needed and missed and longed for.

Georgie watched through the window of his room as Molly kissed him and plumped his pillows. She could wait a little longer to take his stats, they needed this moment.

She smiled to herself. She was glad Charles was getting what he truly needed. She was happy to see them happy. If they were then maybe she could be too.

-OG-

 **I hope to get the next chapter up before my wedding (14 days eeeeek) but apologies in advance if I don't x**

 **Team Bones or team Charles?**


	21. Chapter 21

**I just wanted to thank you all so much for the support on my last post. I never thought for a minute it would get the reaction it did, I just needed to get my bit said. So thank you all, you've really spurred me on.**

-OG-

Molly fussed and tended and pretty much made it so he didn't move a muscle. Some might call it overcompensating. Charles would just call it outright mollycoddling.

"Go easy. You seem unsteady" she placed a hand protectively on his lower back as they made their way into the front door. A much welcomed sight for both of them.

"I'm fine. Have your ever tried walking on one of these fucking things and not limping or waddling?" He snapped.

He was frustrated with her. Frustrated because he knew something was going on in her head. Frustrated because she treated him like an invalid 95% of the time and the was distant for the rest. Away in her own world where unbeknownst to him she was reliving the self inflicted horror of almost sleeping with Bones.

"Can I get you anything?" She said eagerly as she helped him out of his prosthetic "Can we just sit together without you fussing? I've missed you"

He pulled her into his "Missed you so bloody much" he whispered, nuzzling into her neck. She pulled from his grip, busying herself.

"Let me just tidy up. Can see you didn't manage whilst I was away"

She cringed at her words, not even daring to look at the hurt expression which fell across the handsome face which moments ago was smiling.

"I managed fine. Just chose not too"

"I want you to sit down and tell me what's going on with you. One minute your caring and attentive, the next minute you're cold... shutting me out and making shitty comments. What gives Molly?"

She held her breathe "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. It's been a full on few weeks what with the tour and then coming home to you in hospital. I just need to get my nut around normal. I'm fine I promise"

He watched her cringe at the lie. It saddened him to think that whatever it was she was hiding, she felt like she couldn't share it with him. What could be so bad?

He no longer felt like she saw him as her equal. More like some delicate man child who needed constant care although this was not the case. Yes he struggled physically at times, he certainly struggled mentally and was in pain a lot of the time. He was still learning new ways to do things and hitting new walls and finding new limitations daily but he was also finding different ways to tackle those obstacles and putting in the work with rehab now he was on the mend and he was getting there. Slowly but surely. He wasn't the invalid she treated him as and he knew her well enough to know it was a direct result of something else. Something she was keeping hidden when they had vowed never to ever hide things from each other again.

But he knew stubborn Molly. And he knew he would have to wait until she was ready to share.

-OG-

"Zip me up please"

She saw the fire in his eyes as he ran his finger down her spine before kissing her shoulder and finally zipping up her dress. His favourite black dress which drove him wild and hugged her in all the right places. She smirked at him through the mirror, his handsome face still gave her butterflies.

"Keep looking at me like that Dawesey and I don't think we'll be going anywhere"

She spun round to face him "What, you're coming?"

He sniggered a laugh "Yes. They are after all my former section. And I thought it only right I buy them all a Christmas drink. And show off the hardware, I know they are dying to see it"

It was his first time facing any of his former army mates socially and he was nervous. Bricking it in fact.

"I think you should rest Charles. You've been so ill"

He lifted his finger to rest on her lips "What's the matter? Don't want your old man cramping your style"

She stayed silent as she put the finishing touches to her hair.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Is that it?"

She sighed heavily "No. Not at all and I'm sorry if it came across like that's it. I just worry about you that's all" she couldn't tell him the real reason why she didn't want him to go. Fingers.

He loved gossip. He loved spreading gossip even more and her failure to mention to Charles she had visited Bones was bound to bite her in the arse.

If she was honest with herself, the guilt was killing her. So many times in the last few weeks since she had visited Bones she wanted to come clean to Charles but there was never a right time. He had been so ill, still wasn't 100% and his ongoing recovery since the amputation constantly played on her mind.

He _was_ doing well and she didn't want to jeopardise that.

She took him in, he was as handsome as ever despite having lost a few pounds since she'd gone away. He stood tall, if a little wobbly on his prosthetic. He looked proud of himself.

This was a big step for Charles. His first proper social outing since losing his leg. His first time seeing his former section all together since ordering them to jump off of that cliff edge. Something he'd fretted and felt guilty about ever since despite being cleared of any wrong doing.

She could tell he was nervous. His palms were clammy but he still bit his lip as he looked at her.

"You look sensational" he almost panted, his dark eyes full of desire.

She moved towards him, equally impressed with what she saw. A crisp blue shirt and dark blue jeans looked so good on him it was criminal.

"You don't look to shabby yourself"

There was a glint in her eye and he caught it. He knew she wanted him and it made him feel good.

"We could always turn up fashionably late..."

He placed gentle kisses up her neck, seeking out her sweet spot behind her ear and the tingle she felt in her tummy as well as other places for him heightened.

"You are so Beautiful" he whispered as his lips finally made contact with the spot that melted her.

"We're gonna be late"

She pulled away leaving him disappointed. She hadn't touched him in the way he was craving since she came back and he couldn't work out why.

In his head he was no longer the attractive man he once had been. After all, what was attractive about a prosthesis and a stump when he took his clothes off?

-OG-

Despite her earlier brush off, she was full of affection for the duration of their cab ride. She laced her fingers through his using her thumb to stroke the soft skin of his hand. She also fidgeted like she often did when something was on her mind.

"You seem nervous?" He observed and pulled her into the crook of his arm.

"Just been awhile ain't it. And don't wanna get too pissed in case you need me"

He smiled to himself "I'll be fine. Have a drink and let loose."

Fingers was the first person she clapped eyes on and it was awkward. He knew her secret.

The normally over friendly Fingers shifted as far from her as he could, not even saying hello, instead joining the rest in making a fuss of Charles.

She watched as his self consciousness melted away. He was animated and happier than she had seen him for as long as she could remember and here she was, miserable and hiding. Praying that her mistake wasn't coming back to haunt her tonight.

He motioned for her to sit next to him, she complied happily. She had missed him even though he was right there.

"You ok?" He kissed the top of her head, searching her face for whatever was wrong.

"I'm good. Happy to see you enjoying yourself"

"Looks like you 2 are back on track" Fingers shouted across the table.

"Yes thank you Fingers, we're good"

He gave Molly a dirty look and she reacted by giving him one just as sour.

She couldn't relax. This was hell. She was with all of her favourite people yet she couldn't enjoy herself. Guilt ate away at her stomach.

Charles took her hand, giving her a reassuring smile. He was pleased when she allowed her body to relax when he slipped his arm around her shoulders and she almost melted into him.

"That's better" he said taking another sip of the orange juice she'd insisted he stick too.

There was a tenderness to him that she'd missed and only _he_ had ever been able to give her. She'd never known love like his. It radiated out of him... you could see it in the way he touched her and the way he looked at her at all times if you were in their company. His expressive brown eyes told you exactly how he felt about her.

Fingers observed them and felt guilty for knowing her secret. His former Captain didn't deserve it after everything he'd been through and Bones didn't deserve to be led on.

This was a new side to Molly that he really couldn't get his head around. She'd always been so straight up and brutally honest. And she'd always been true to Charles. He'd admired and even been envious of what they had, he'd always hoped he'd find it for himself sooner rather than later and now it all felt tarnished.

"I think we should sack this lot off and have a little date night? What do you say?"

They'd been playing a game of teasing and tempting and flirting and both were enjoying every second of it. It was reminiscent of the early, uncomplicated day when they were just two people in love with minimal baggage between them.

He bit his lip, she was especially beautiful tonight and she had succeeded in her mission of winding him up to the point of no return. How could he refuse?

"Grab your coat gorgeous because you've pulled" he agreed happily to her plan.

"I'll just nip to the loo and you can make our excuses"

She kissed him deeply, relieved to be getting out of this situation and headed to the toilet. She smiled because his eyes followed her the whole way and she couldn't resist blowing him a kiss and giving him a cheeky wink. His smile blew her away. How could she still fancy him so much after all of this time?

She stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't like this Molly very much. She was being dishonest and had a heavy guilty conscience. Not only for Charles but for Bones as well. She shook it off, eager to leave this place once and for all.

She was startled to see Fingers sitting in her place.

"Jump in my grave as quick would you Fingers?" She joked trying to gauge the atmosphere.

Charles stood up unsteadily and reached for her with a smile. Everything was still alright, he hadn't said anything.

She wrapped a protective and possessive arm around his torso. All eyes seemed to be in him and it thrilled her.

Fingers pulled her to one side whilst Charles said his goodbyes. "I don't know why your being funny with me Dawes. I'm not the one who's been a shit"

She dismissed him. It was time to go.

Molly continued her teasing. She wasn't actually sure who she was pleasing more, him or herself but this game was driving her wild.

-OG-

Charles stopped the cab by the river. Determined they would stroll hand in hand once more down riverbank.

The large strides he'd often take forgetting her little legs struggled to keep up with were a thing of the past. She still likened him to Bambi on ice at times when he readjusted to the prosthetic after sitting. He clung to her shoulder for support. Her arm worked it's way around his lower back, she was his crutch because he was too stubborn to bring the real ones.

"Sorry. Just getting my balance. Takes awhile sometimes"

Molly smiled warmly at him "You never have to apologise to me. We can go as slow as you need too"

He grasped her hand, leading the way. They had always enjoyed this walk, particularly around Christmas time when the house boats were decorated for festivities. Charles enjoyed the way her face lit up as she admired them, like an excited child then she'd beg him to swap their home for their very own boat even though by her own admission she was "a shit swimmer" but she was always serious. And he was always nearly tempted because he wanted to give her everything she wanted especially at Christmas when he wanted to make up for the Dawes' short comings all of her life.

He smiled at the memory and once again counted his blessing that they were back here together. He had kept the tradition going the few lonely Christmases he had spent without her. Praying to god or Lady Luck even though he wasn't sure if he believed in either of them at the time. Yet here she was, so someone had been listening.

"What you smiling at?"

She brought her hands up to rest on either side of his face, balancing on her very top toes to press her lips against his.

"You. Us. This. Waited a long time to be here with you again"

Her heart was swelling. With love for him tinged with guilt. "Let's keep moving soppy. You'll need to rest soon"

She hated to be the one who ruined the moment. Before Bones it would have meant the world, and it did. But she couldn't forgive herself. She didn't deserve the way he looked at her or the way he held her. The way he was so grateful to have her by his side.

"What you said earlier... about me being embarrassed of you... you know that can never be true don't you?"

He shrugged his shoulders "I'd understand if it was the case. I mean look at me. I walk like, god knows what. When I _can_ walk that is, the rest of the time I rely on crutches or a wheelchair and I've got my own bloody special bathroom. It all just feels like... well it's a lot to take on. I wouldn't want to take me on"

Molly turned to face him, her heart dropping. His dark eyes were glazed over, emotional. He was searching her face waiting for reassurance. He needed her to say the right thing.

"Charles, Nothing about this is me taking you on. I love you and yes it's an adjustment. Life has changed for you and for me too. Things aren't as easy as they were but it doesn't mean we give up on what we have. I'm not embarrassed of you, I'm in awe. You're strong and you're brave and you're trying really hard even if I haven't told you that I've noticed but I have. It doesn't make me love you less, it makes me love you even more and I never thought that was possible. I love you and I'll be by your side no matter what"

He smiled and it was as if his insecurities melted away. She had done right for a change. Being honest was the only way forward for them. She needed to tell him before someone else did. But how? He was always the jealous type and jealousy made him irrational. He behaved badly when the green eyed monster hit and they couldn't afford for it to affect his recovery.

"Thank you for always saying what I need to hear"

He kissed the top of her head, continuing their walk. Happy and settled, how could she blow that apart now?

-OG-

 **I'm hoping to get another Chapter of "His Girl" up before Christmas because I am surprisingly organised this year but if I don't manage it, I hope you all have a wonder Christmas and a happy new year. S x**


	22. Chapter 22

**As always thanks for the reviews. They mean a lot and are very appreciated. Please keep them coming :)**

 **I'm not overly happy with this chapter but if I rewrite it many more times I might go crazy.**

 **I've had a few requests to include more in-depth about amputation/the process/the recovery ect which I would be more than happy to do... but I feel it isn't relevant in the current timeline of the story. If it's something you're interested in hearing about then PM me again and I don't mind answering any questions you may have. I know it's peeks peoples interest when a beloved character goes through something. Obviously I'm no expert and can only speak from hubby's own personal journey. It definitely will not offend me if you have a question that may help you understand the character of CJ and his ups and downs post amputation. S x**

 **-OG-**

The feeling of being watched had never quite left her in all these months. Even followed her as far as Bangladesh and there was little Charles could do to ease her mind.

"I swear Charles, someone is watching me" She barked, pacing through the house as he did his usual tour of securing windows and doors, more for her peace of mind than anything else but tonight something caught his attention.

"I'm just nipping out to the car"

She shouted something along the lines of 'be quick' because she still wouldn't let him do much and rarely let him out of her sight but he wasn't going to frighten or fail her on this. A Prosthetic was not a weakness like she seemed to think it was.

He watched as the hooded figure clocked him and dashed and broke into as much of a brisk walk as his leg would allow which was no match for someone running but he wasn't going to give up. He was going to protect his girl no matter what.

Charles had knowledge of the area on his side, a wrong turn by the hooded weirdo and Charles' quick thinking, giving him the advantage. Maybe even the element of surprise.

He grabbed at the back of his hood, pushing him towards the ground.

"Smurf?"

It was no great surprise after all but this was a new low even for Smurf.

"What the fuck are you doing hanging around outside my house?"

"Came to speak to that perfect little missus of yours as she's changed her number... won't hear me out" He was drunk and slurring.

"You know you're not suppose to be anywhere near her don't you? I should punch your fucking face in"

Smurf winced, expecting the blow that never came.

"Still a bit scary even with the robo leg"

Charles rolled his eyes "Tell me what the fuck you want and piss of before I call the police"

"I want to know why _she_ gets away with everything. I've been done over for her, lost everything yet _she_ comes up smelling of roses. Why is that?"

Charles bit his lip "What are you talking about Smurf?"

The smirk that pulled at Smurfs face wound him up "Spit it out"

"I don't suppose she told you about her and Bones in Bangladesh did she? Saw them with my own eyes. She weren't worried about you then Captain that's for sure. Might even let you watch it if you ask nicely"

Charles laughed "Nice try. Now off you fuck"

"All you have to do is ask her"

Charles walked away before he did something he'd surely regret. She wouldn't betray him, she loved him too much. But she had been distant, so distant that he often found himself insecure and worried or frustrated and angry at her refusal to get whatever was bothering her off her chest.

She met him on the door step, confused and a little scared by his disappearance.

"Charles?"

He walked passed her as if she didn't exist.

"Charles what is it?"

She watched him walk slowly to the kitchen and pour himself a neat whisky, backing it in one and pouring another.

"Charles you're scaring me what's wrong?"

"It would appear that Smurf has been watching you. Seems to have been for quite some time"

She fumbled for her phone in her pocket, terrified.

"Well I best call the police... gotta tell 'em they'll have to put another restraining order on him"

She was conscious of the way Charles was looking at her. There was no concern or no attempt to comfort her.

"Tell me about Bangladesh" he said coldly, knocking back another drink.

"Not much to tell. And anyway, what's Bangladesh got to do with anythin'... Smurfs been stalking me"

He wanted to give her an opportunity to come clean but she wasn't going too. All of her strange behaviour made sense to him now.

Not wanting him to be around the lads. Keeping tabs on him, being overly fussy over him. She was feeling guilty, had been all of this time.

"Bones... tell me about him"

She swallowed hard "Couldn't tell you anything about him that you didn't already know"

He slammed the glass down "You sure about that? How did his lips feel against yours? How did his hands feel on your skin?"

A single tear rolling down her cheek confirmed it.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, ready for the fallout but I didn't come. He just sat there.

"Charles you have to believe me. Nothing happened, we kissed and it was a mistake but that was all. I love you and I stopped because I wanted you"

He downed another drink and she could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"My life was made hell for sleeping with Lane. And we'd split up at the time, you'd left _ME!_ And I took it all because I loved you and I'd take any bullet for you. I made a mistake yes. But what you've done, how can I ever forgive that? Bones of all people? Bet he'd had you high on his list of women to fuck since he knew you were mine. Well done Molly. You played right into his hands. Another one up on Charles James because me losing my fucking leg and my career wasn't enough for him to be better than me he had to fuck my fiancé too"

She knew he was right. She had allowed him to become the bad guy after their break up.

"It meant nothing and we didn't sleep together. I'd had a few and I was missing you and he was just there. I was aching for you. It was just a kiss and a fumble and then it was over because I love you"

He laughed to himself "Tell me Molly, if I hadn't have almost died of sepsis, would you have even come back to me?"

She attempted to make physical contact but he recoiled "I always come back to you don't I?"

The way he was looking at her made feel hopeful. Hopeful that he could forgive this although given his track record for jealousy it was highly unlikely to be resolved quickly.

"I'm going to bed. When I wake up in the morning I don't want you to be here"

She stood rooted to the spot. "You're chucking me out?"

"I think you'll find I paid you out of the house last time"

She could tell by the blankness in his face that he was acting on impulse, there was no anger in his eyes. Things would be different in the morning. She would make sure they were different.

Molly followed him to their bedroom, attempting to help him remove his prosthetic. Something she did every night.

"You take the bed, I'll take the sofa" he said coldly.

"You really want to do this?"

"It's not me who's done it"

She felt the tears burning but wasn't going to let him see them.

"You take the bed. You'll be closer to the bathroom and you need to be comfortable"

They held each other's gaze for a moment and she was desperately hoping he was thawing but his walls were up again. Jealous Charles was always a difficult Charles.

"Leave your keys in the bowl before you leave tomorrow" His voice was cold and emotionless.

"But it's Christmas Charles"

There was nothing she could say or do to change his mind. She had to go. She had betrayed him in the worst way and hearing it from Smurf had only rubbed salt deeper into the wound.

He'd knew it was too good to be true all along. Why would she want to stay with him anyway? He was half the man he used to be. Bones was everything that had always turned her on. Strong, confident. And he had both I'd his legs, he could do things with her that Charles no longer could. He knew it was coming, just not so soon.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'm so sorry for the delay.**

 **Please review. Hopefully reading them will help me get my writing spark back - It's**

 **really non existent right now x**

-OG-

Everything ticked over in his head.. over and over until he felt insane. His life with Molly before their divorce. His life without Molly after it. How unhappy he'd been and the lengths they'd gone to just to come back to each other. Exactly how much she risked in the jungle for him. Her life being the main thing, she had been willing to die for him, she protected him with her life. Never once willing to leave his side. Those weren't the actions of a person who did not love him.

He already felt empty without her and she was only downstairs. _He_ had pushed her to go, for her own happiness but pushed her none the less. _He_ was to blame. His insecurities once again threatening to ruin his life.

He pulled on the fucking prosthetic that was the bane of his life but also his lifeline and made the short distance to the kitchen. Coffee this time, not whisky.

The sound and smell reached a weeping Molly within seconds and she longed to hold him. To tell him how much she loved him. So she'd do just that. There was no leaving here without a fight, not this time.

He felt her before he saw her, this time allowing physical contact between them as she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"Do you really want me to go?" She sobbed

He turned to face her using his long finger to tilt her chin upwards "Never"

Their lips met, both desperately seeking comfort in the other. Both needing the physical connection to make them whole again.

"I'm sorry" she panted between kisses

"So am I"

He slipped her dressing gown off her shoulders allowing it to pool at her feet, taking in the curves of her body in just her underwear. Words unspoken being exchanged with their eyes.

"Mine" he growled possessively

"Yours" she affirmed pulling at his waistband.

"I love you so much it makes me crazy... please say you forgive me"

"Take me to bed" she whispered and there was no argument from him. All of his earlier anger melted away when she touched him. The physical and emotional connection between them had bent a little but not broken and he was sure it never would. Deep down he knew he would forgive her anything.

Molly enjoyed exploring his body again. Where there once had been hard lines and muscle was now a little softer. Still perfect she thought as she planted her lips on the faded red scar on his torso. How could one body go through so much?

The ache for him between her legs drove her wild as she kissed her way upwards to his face.

"Mine" she proclaimed as he had done earlier "Most definitely yours" he agreed. His eyes hungrily searching hers. He needed her. Needed her physically and emotionally and she was teasing and driving him wild.

"Molly please"

She gazed at him with a devilish look "All in good time James"

She needed him to know he was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Losing a limb would never alter that.

He flipped her over so he lay on top of her, taking control "I. Need. You" he punctuated every word with a kiss and continued until he reached the sweet spot behind her ear.

The smell of his aftershave and his lips pressed against her skin were enough "Now Charles"

They worshiped each other's bodies in the way they always had. It had always been the way they fixed anything. The way they showed each other the best just how much they loved and how deeply they felt.

He held her so tight after, planting gentle kisses on every inch of her beautiful face. She smiled to herself, thanking her lucky stars they would be okay.

-OG-

"Merry Christmas" she said in a whisper just in case he really was asleep. He turned to face her, sleepy and exhausted from making up and pulled her naked body to his.

"I've been so looking forward to our first Christmas officially back together" she smiled sadly

"I'm sorry I nearly fucked it all up. I got lost for a minute, but my heart always comes back to you"

He cringed at the thought of _them_ together but the alternative was far worse. He knew he couldn't be without her again.

"I'm sorry... for my role in you being there. For encouraging Bones. For being like this"

He gestured towards his leg "this isn't ideal for you is it? You must have had second thoughts about me at some point? At _that_ moment maybe?"

"At that moment I wasn't thinking at all. I'd had one to many and I was lonely and missing you and he's always been a bit fond of me hasn't he? I needed physical contact, someone to just hold me and make it all better. I'm sorry.. so fucking sorry that it ever happened but you have to believe that nothing more happened. You also have to believe that I'm here because I wanna be and no, I've never had second thoughts about you. Especially not since you got yourself a bit of new kit. If anything it's made me love you even more because you so brave Charles. So fucking brave.. I'm a bit in awe of you actually"

Her words felt like they might make his heart explode. Maybe he was still enough.

She held him as he broke down. Months of pretending and avoiding his feelings about his amputation finally coming to a head. It had finally sunk in that this was permanent, that this was the new him. Their new way of life because it affected her too but she was still here and they were still fighting. Finally he had faith that they always would fight forthcoming battles together.

-OG-

Today was a day that Molly never thought she would be ready for but as she sat waiting, it more than felt right. Her time with the army was done.

They had spent the time since Christmas healing and growing back together and finally this chapter of their lives would be complete for both of them.

"So this really is goodbye then Dawes?"

He was the last person she wanted to see but as her CO it was inevitable.

"Yes Sir. I'm ready for a fresh start"

Bones swallowed hard "You do realise you're making a mistake don't you? You're throwing away a decorated career to be a carer"

She smiled to herself because she knew different. She knew better.

"That couldn't be any further from the truth.. but you are entitled to your opinion. I want a life now. A settled life with kids and Charles and I want to wake up to his face every single day"

He was surprised how her words still stung him. Molly James really had got under his skin.

"I'll miss you Molly"

He was tempted to reach out and touch her. All his recovery had been spent thinking of her and what they had shared in Bangladesh. It had given him hope that maybe, just maybe she did feel that way too. Once again Charles James stood in the way. He always had.

"I'll miss you too. You're a fucking top bloke Scott. I really hope you find what you're looking for"

With a final salute he watched her go and she looked happy.

"I hope so too Dawes"


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: So very sorry this has taken as long as it has.. life is beyond hectic. Thank you for the reviews on the previous chapter (feels like so long ago now) please keep them coming. Also thanks for the nudges to update, I needed those ;)**

-OG-

She waited patiently for Charles to come out of the shower. Today was the first day of the rest of his life he had called it but she could tell he was nervous because, well why wouldn't he be?

She gave him the pep talk she knew he needed, because he doubted himself and his abilities but sometimes we all need a little reminder of who we are and what we've been through and how we've come out the other side relatively well functioning humans.

"I made you some lunch. Don't take the piss either it's just a sandwich and some crisps. Maybe even a bar of chocolate. And possibly a babybel. I see you munching them like they're going out of fashion when you think I'm not looking and then you blame Sam for eating them all"

He smirks and is mildly amused by her cheek so early in the morning and despite the crippling nerves, she always finds a way to comfort him, usually with her smart mouth.

A new job. Something he hadn't seen in his future after losing his leg and it felt really fucking good. They had chosen him for his wealth of experience as a Captain. And also because of what he had been through and how he'd come out the other side. They chose him and it was the confidence boost he'd needed.

"Promise you won't over do it?"

He saluted her, old habits die hard and she walked him to the door, absolutely positive that she was more nervous than he was.

"Good luck and knock 'em dead - I love you"

"Thank you. And I love you more! Thank you for the lunch"

She waved him off and couldn't help giving into the tears that had been burning the back of her eyes all morning. He had come so far and achieved his goal of returning to work doing something completely new to him that he had fought so hard both physically and mentally to achieve. He wanted to help other amputees get their lives back after trauma and thats exactly what he was setting off to do and Molly was immensely proud.

She pulled on her own work uniform, a task she was still getting used to herself after they both decided to enjoy an extended career break over the last year. The aim was for him to fully recover and for them both to heal and grow back together, moving forward as one with no fractures. Two equal partners, all mistakes left firmly in the past.

When it had come time to decide what _she_ wanted to do, she had remembered all to well the profound affect Bashira had had on her life after that first tour and decided that helping children from war torn countries was what she wanted to do, and she truly excelled at it.

They enjoyed the new routine, normality once again restored after the stormy years they had faced. Simple thing like coming home to each other, cooking together and sharing a meal were blissful and happy because all they needed was each other.

-OG-

He was animated and happy as he barely stopped for breath, the nerves from this morning had turned to excitement for the future as he told her every details of his first day. There was a sparkle in his eye that had been missing for a long time.

He massaged her tense shoulders, noticing she had been delighted his day had gone so well but we equally stressed and in 'Bridezilla' mode.

"Have you finally finished the table plan?"

She nodded but never took her eyes off the roughly drawn table layout she had been agonising over for weeks "I just feel like too much 2 section in one area is gonna be disaster"

He snorted a laugh "Agreed but let's just keep perspective. It's a much smaller affair than last time and there won't be anybody in attendance who hasn't already been offended by their antics previously"

They both smiled at each other, the excitement for the up coming second wedding clearly overtaking the nerves that Molly was feeling.

"Are you sure about Georgie & Bones?"

She nodded "I feel like it's time we all let the past go, but that doesn't mean I want them at the wedding"

He'd only questioned her decision because she had agonised over doing the right thing by themselves and what was seen as the right thing by their mutual friends who didn't quite understand the complexity of the situation between 4 people who's lives had been a tangled web in more ways than one on more occasions than any of them wanted to remember. And despite the fact the Georgie and Bones were now a happy couple, it still remained a little raw for all involved.

He pulled her into a hug, proud that they had managed to come back to such a secure place within their relationship that crossing paths with the past no longer dented them.

The way his strong, muscular arms felt wrapped round her body when he held her still drove her wild.

"I think it's time we stopped talking and started practicing for the wedding night"

He groaned in response, his large hands beginning to wander "Thought you'd never ask".

-OG-

The last time Molly woke up on her wedding morning she had done so alone in keeping with tradition. This time she woke up the only place she wanted to be, wrapped in Charles strong, lean arms which always find their way around her each night. It was a comfortable, safe place for both of them. His arms were home.

She stroked his smooth, sun kissed skin before planting a kiss to wake up, enjoying the peaceful moment before the madness of the day begins.

"Good morning beautiful" his smooth voice sent shivers down her spine

"Good morning Mr James. We have something very important to do today"

He pulled her on top of him, stroking and caressing her face. Her fresh, make up free face had always been his favourite version of Molly.

"Most important day of my life so far, and this time its forever" be kissed the top of her head and took the opportunity to explore her body before they dressed.

"I don't know about you Molly, but I'm already looking forward to going back to bed tonight"

He groaned as he kissed her neck "Pack it in you or we'll be late. Now sod off and get dressed, you know it takes you ages with that leg"

He took a last look at her before she would once again become Mrs James. Life really was perfect.

-OG-

She smiled to himself when he realised she had been right and it had taken him far longer to get ready than he gave himself time for. A few army habits were starting to slip.

He greeted his dad and Sam who excitedly thrust an envelope towards him "Molly said read this in the car and she'll kill you herself if you're late"

Unlike their first wedding day where he had been consumed by nerves, self doubt and fear of her not turning up, today he was calm. Everything felt right.

He ripped open the envelope, intrigued because she never had been one for putting pen to paper.

 _Dear Charles_

 _If your reading this it means you are on your way to the registry office and I'm not far behind you._

 _As you know, I don't have your wonderful way with words and letter writing but I wanted to put pen to paper to remind you of our extraordinary journey._

 _Even in our hardest times, whether they be together or apart I always loved you. It's not in my DNA to ever stop. The years spent apart feel like such wasted time but I know now we were always meant to come back together and be better & stronger than ever. _

_All those who tried or didn't try intentionally in some cases but accidentally got in the way anyway we're just lessons sent to show us what we truly mean to each other when we couldn't see it for ourselves. Ladyluck maybe? She hasn't always been on our side but I believe she is today._

 _We proved ourselves to her in that jungle. Together forever, through everything. I would have died for you that day. When I thought I'd be facing life without you, it just didn't seem doable and I thank god or whatever is out there that we got out of there. I know you didn't make it out in one piece but I tried my best and I wouldn't change a thing about you. Ever._

 _There have been so many moment in my life so far where I've been at a crossroads... had to ask myself important, life altering questions. They have always led me back to you._

 _It's not possible to love you anymore that I do, I hope you always remember that. Even when I'm being a fuck muppet or when you're being a bit of a twat. A love letter from me wouldn't be the same without a few swear words would it James?_

 _See you at the alter. And this time there's no getting rid of me, and that's a promise._

 _MJ X_

Charles carefully folded the letter that now meant so much to him and placed it in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. Close to his heart. He remembered how lucky he had felt to marry her the first time around and it struck him that he was even luckier this time.

-OG-

 **P.s - Happy Birthday Debbie X**


End file.
